Clipmarks | Waiter Clips

A Story Where Every Word Begins With ‘W’

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 15:04:26 GMT

clipped by: mugofcoffee
clipper's remarks: There is more to this story than I could clip...You need to visit the site for the rest of the story...a brave attempt in writing...

Clip Source: www.youngwriterssociety.com

The following story, entitled Walter and Winnie, was published sometime in the 19th century by an unknown author. It’s roughly 450 words long, and after you read it once, try reading it again three times fast.

“Warm weather, Walter! Welcome warm weather! We were wishing winter would wane, weren’t we?” “We were well wearied with waiting,” whispered Waiter wearily. Wan, white, woe-begone was Walter; wayward, wilful, worn with weakness, wasted, waxing weaker whenever winter’s wild, withering winds were wailing. Wholly without waywardness was Winifred, Walter’s wise, womanly watcher, who, with winsome, wooing way, was well-beloved.

“We won’t wait, Walter; while weather’s warm we’ll wander where woodlands wave, won’t we?”

“Why, Winnie, we’ll walk where we went when we were with Willie; we’ll weave wildflower wreaths, watch woodmen working; woodlice, worms wriggling; windmills whirling; watermills wheeling; we will win wild whortleberries, witness wheat winnowed.”

Tags: General · Humor

Spoons

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:03:15 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent."

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use
the spoon."

Clip Source: www.avolites.org.uk

Spoons.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making

Tags: spoons

The world's 50 most powerful blogs

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:45:15 GMT

clipped by: tabsey
clipper's remarks: Details of each blog at the Guardian/site

Clip Source: www.guardian.co.uk

1. The Huffington Post

2. Boing Boing

3. Techcrunch

4. Kottke

5. Dooce

6. Perezhilton

7. Talking points memo

8. Icanhascheezburger

9. Beppe Grillo

10. Gawker

11. The Drudge Report

12. Xu Jinglei

13. Treehugger

14. Microsiervos

15. TMZ

16. Engadget

17. Marbury

18. Chez Pim

19. Basic thinking

20. The Sartorialist

21. Students for a free Tibet

22. Jezebel

23. Gigazine

24. Girl with a one-track mind

25. Mashable

26. Greek tragedy

27. Holy Moly

28. Michelle Malkin

29. Cranky flier

30. Go fug yourself

31. Gaping void

32. Dirtydirty dancing

33. Crooked timber

34. Beansprouts

35. The offside

36. Peteite Anglaise

37. Crooks and liars

38. Chocolate and Zucchini

39. Samizdata

40. The daily dish

41. The F word

42. Jonny B's private secret diary

43. Popjustice

44. Waiter rant

45. Hecklerspray

46. WoWinsider

47. Angry black bitch

48. Stylebubble

49. AfterEllen

50. Copyblogger

Tags: guess, the, split, screen, has, another, use

Waiter, There's A Fly In My Urinal

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 23:21:03 GMT

clipped by: moonspirit4ever
clipper's remarks: I'm painting a fly in every john in the Men's Room at work....

Clip Source: lh5.ggpht.com

Michal Totten - The Bin Laden of the Balkans Part 2

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 02:03:36 GMT

clipped by: bmeuppls
clipper's remarks: Excellent reportage on the situation in the Balkans and the Arab attempt to take over.

Clip Source: www.michaeltotten.com

I met Shpetim Mahmudi at a covered outdoor cafe on a cold day in late spring in the ethnic Albanian region of Macedonia. Black clouds hung low over the city of Tetovo. Fat rain drops pelted the sidewalk and the awning over my head as I shivered in my light black leather jacket. “Let's go inside,” he said, “where it's warmer and drier.” We found a table and ordered coffee. He leaned in close to whisper when the waiter stepped out of earshot. “We are really in trouble here,” he said. “We are really in trouble with the Wahhabis.”

Tags: religion, balkans, wahhabi

M.R. Print Interview West Hollywood French Cafe

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:38:05 GMT

clipped by: lolobird

Clip Source: www.guardian.co.uk

A French cafe in West Hollywood, Mickey Rourke has barely lit his first Marlboro red when he sits bolt upright and looks over my shoulder into the car park. 'Hey, what's this motherfucker doing? He parked his car right there to block me in. Hey!' He calls over the offending waiter, a young Frenchman just arriving for work. 'I want to be able to get my car out of there.'

Santa Monica

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:22:02 GMT

clipped by: snowstormlondon
clipper's remarks: veggie late night

Clip Source: www.yelp.com

Swingers

3.5 star rating

based on 114 reviews

Rating Details »

Categories: Diners, Vegan, Vegetarian, American (Traditional) [Edit]

Neighborhood: Santa Monica
802 Broadway
Santa Monica, CA 90401

(310) 393-9793

www.swingersdiner.com

Add Photos

Hours:
Mon-Thu 7:00 a.m.-2:00 a.m.
Fri-Sat 7:00 a.m.-3:00 a.m.
Sun 7:00 a.m.-2:00 a.m.
Price Range: $$
Accepts Credit Cards: Yes
Parking: Street
Attire: Casual
Good for Groups: Yes
Good for Kids: Yes
Takes Reservations: No
Delivers: No
Take-out: Yes
Waiter Service: Yes
Wheelchair Accessible: Yes
Outdoor Seating: Yes
Good for: Breakfast, Late Night
Alcohol: Beer & Wine Only

Clip Source: www.yelp.com

So True

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 15:22:57 GMT

clipped by: nitehawk121661

Clip Source: www.backwoodshome.com

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu:

Tourist: $5

Broiled Missionary: $10

Fried Explorer: $15

Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a price difference for the politicians?”

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of crap, it takes all morning.”

It's the Planet, Didiot: Drink Tap Water

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 21:50:06 GMT

clipped by: huckfinn

Clip Source: www.itstheplanetdidiot.com

Zork Green Tip 15 - Drink Tap Water

Earthling, I took my wife Meera to a restaurant to celebrate the Zork Revolution. We are both very excited about helping Earthlings save the planet from Didiot Earthlings. When our very nice human waiter came to our table, his eyes bulged out at seeing us. I guess it was because the color of our skin is green.

Tags: water, save, planet, eco, green, environment

Random Acts of Kindness

Tue, 20 May 2008 21:26:41 GMT

clipped by: biarced

Clip Source: www.lifehack.org

29 Ways to Carry Out Random Acts of Kindness Every Day

So where do you begin?

Buy a lottery ticket for a stranger.

Put some coins in someone else’s parking meter.

Buy a coffee for the man on the high street selling The Big Issue magazine.

Give a compliment about your waiter / waitress to his / her manager.

Walk your friend’s dog.

Send someone a small gift anonymously.

Stop and help someone replace their flat tyre.

Let someone jump the queue at the bank.

Treat a friend to the movies for no reason.

Give up your seat for someone, not just an elderly person.

Talk to a homeless person and have a “normal” conversation.

Recommend a competitor to a potential client.

Give a piece of fruit to a delivery person.

Leave a copy of an interesting book on a train / bus.

Smile a lot.

What goes around is sure to come around - happy helping

Give Peas a Chance - Mark Steyn

Tue, 06 May 2008 08:52:00 GMT

clipped by: sillysam

Clip Source: corner.nationalreview.com

Monday, May 05, 2008

Re: Vegetable rights and peace [Mark Steyn]

Jonah, all we are saying is give peas a chance.

Actually, I think the Belmont Club has the best observation on Switzerland's move to "vegetable rights":

But who is really being "empowered" by the Swiss committee's decision? Is it plants? No. It is bureaucrats. The point of vegetable rights isn't to give plants dignity but to transfer yet more individual human freedoms to activists and government officials.

They'll make vegetables of us all yet.

I'm reminded of a Brit joke from the Eighties: Mrs Thatcher and her all-male cabinet walk into a restaurant. The Prime Minister orders a steak, and the oleaginous waiter asks, "And for the vegetables?"

"Oh, they'll have what I'm having."

05/05 08:04 PM

La Dolce Vita

Thu, 01 May 2008 21:16:10 GMT

clipped by: akarra
clipper's remarks: One blogger's journey to Roma brings about some memorable experiences.

Clip Source: alteringlabyrinth.blogspot.com

I also think I had the best pasta dish at Dino and Toni's, a restaurant in a street north of the Vatican, where the waiter and the chef cook rattle on in Italian at you regardless of your nationality and who seemed more than pleased whenever anybody stammers back in half Latin and half French. I am sure they didn't charge half the stuff we ordered. Their espresso was the best by far, too.

Tags: travel, rome, italy, food, blog

Rossi lookalike comes clean

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 07:24:41 GMT

clipped by: crazy_witch
clipper's remarks: The end of the story...

Clip Source: www.cairns.com.au

THE Valentino Rossi lookalike who had hearts racing at Holloways Beach this week has apologised for the drama he caused, saying it was a big misunderstanding.

"The guests and staff at my restaurant call me Valentino all the time, as a joke," he said.

"They (the staff at the beach cafe) said ‘Valentino?’, I said ‘Yeah, the Doctor’ (sarcastically)."

The waiter said he signed his autograph "The Doctor", Rossi’s nickname, as a joke.

"I am so sorry. I feel so bad," he said.

"From now if any one says ‘Valentino Rossi?’ I say ‘No, I am not him!’.

Tags: valentino rossi, mistake

Italian coffee etiquette for dummies

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 14:31:50 GMT

clipped by: petercasier
clipper's remarks: If you ever go to Italy, be aware there are of the dozens of choices in servings, and there is a thin line between what is acceptable and gross coffee etiquette.

Clip Source: theroadtothehorizon.blogspot.com

Without coffee, Italy would grind to a halt. A day can not start without coffee, and a good meal often ends with it. Many companies have their own inhouse coffee bar including waiters and all. So just to make sure you understand: The Italians do take their "Caffè" seriously.

In restaurants, though, you might get occasions where the waiter will simply not serve you a coffee with milk in the afternoon or evening. The more remote the place, the more "mama and papa"-type the restaurant, the more chance of getting accused for "sacrilege", turning that 'friendly hospitable waiter' into a rude tiran who wants nothing better than to see your backside as you walk out of the restaurant, while all you wanted was a "Cappuccino".

Tags: travel, italy, coffee

Waiter! There’s a solar system in my cup!

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 09:55:51 GMT

clipped by: karokan

Clip Source: sciencejunkies.com

Waiter! There’s a solar system in my cup!

If you are ever in Vancouver, B.C. you might want to drop in at one of the 5 Caffe Artigiano locations around the city. Their champion baristas can turn your cup of hot chocolate or latte into a work of art. I particularly liked this cosmic design!

Tags: optional. separate by commas., art, photos