Clipmarks | Satire Clips

Political Humor by Jon Stewart

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:04:56 GMT

clipped by: dgreplay
clipper's remarks: Genius...LOL. http://tinyurl.com/65d7wv

Sarah Palin Gender Card

Evil Democrats Pray that Gustav will flood New Orleans

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:03:07 GMT

clipped by: kkcapricorn
clipper's remarks: Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Clip Source: www.unconfirmedsources.com

Godless Democrats Pray for New Orleans' Final Judgment

UnconfirmedSources report the Obama/Biden campaign is holding daily prayer circles asking for the holy father to visit destruction upon New Orleans...again.

the solemn players request the storm's path to once again pass over Lake Pontchartrain during the Republican Party's Nation Convention.

In the words of David Axelrod, "We(Democrates) have been blessed by Katrina, Now every time a huricane flattens a gulf city everyone will be reminded on the Republican Bush Administrations colossal failure."

Some critics are suggesting President Bush was as least partly responsible for the flooding in New Orleans

damage wrought by the hurricane may not entirely be the result of an act of nature

John McCain blasted Obama for wishing destruction upon the City of New Orleans and State of Louisiana. McCain declared "Louisiana is a red state no matter how deep the water is."

Tags: satire, unconfirmedsources

Chrome Downgraded to Topical Storm Prior to Projected 6 PM East Coast Landfall

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 23:56:19 GMT

clipped by: kkcapricorn
clipper's remarks: Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious

Clip Source: www.unconfirmedsources.com

NCS false color radar image of Chrome bearing down on Cuba and the Florida Keys

Authorities at the National Computer Service cautioned residents on the Eastern Seaboard to remain alert, but stated that they have downgraded the hurricane release of the browser named Chrome to a Topical Storm. Chrome was downgraded as a result of the effects from prevailing whims aloft and strong smear force whims originating in Redmond, WA, and is expected to make US webfall at around 6 pm EST.

"Chrome has left servers flooded and swamped since making webfall earlier today in Europe,"

anyone choosing to do so would be surfing at their own risk.

A strict ban on phishing was issued

evacuate low bandwidth areas and pack up their favorites as they leave, in order to halt the spread of anticipated viruses

dangers of seeking refuge in abandoned Warezhouses as well as trying to take in and care for stranded Trojan Horses and other livezstock

Tags: satire

What Would Jesus Do?

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 22:20:58 GMT

clipped by: Imnclady
clipper's remarks: Jesus' General I mean...and he did it.

Cowan Site Services: The Official Webmaster of the Glorious Conservative Christian Revolution!

Who are these people??

Clip Source: patriotboy.blogspot.com

A Palin Family Wedding

The wedding

[Video]

Clip Source: patriotboy.blogspot.com

Odin Smiles Upon Sarah Palin

She knows that Heimdall's hearing is hidden under the radiant, Yggdrasil, and that my friends, gives her all the foreign policy experience she needs.

Clip Source: patriotboy.blogspot.com

Lawyer Stuff

Who am I

Webmaster

Buy Stuff

Tags: parody, political, blog, blogger, wedding, business

The Idiossey

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 06:54:41 GMT

clipped by: merrie
clipper's remarks: The Not-Really-That-Epic Poem of Obamacles
(with Apologies to Homer)

Clip Source: iowahawk.typepad.com

Book the First: A question for the Muse

Speak to me, O Muse, of this resourceful man
who strides so boldly upon the golden shrine at Invescos,
Between Ionic plywood columns, to the kleig light altar.
Fair Obamacles, favored of the gods, ascends to Olympus
Amidst lusty tributes and the strumming lyres of Media;
Their mounted skyboxes echo with the singing of his name
While Olbermos and Mattheus in their greasy togas wrassle
For first honor of basking in their hero's reflected glory.
Who is this man, so bronzed in countenance,
So skilled of TelePrompter, clean and articulate
whose ears like a stately urn's protrude?
So now, daughter of Zeus, tell us his story.
And just the Cliff Notes if you don't mind,
We don't have all day.

Said the Muse:

I will tell the story of Obamacles through my scribe Iowahawk.
But this shit is copyrighted, so reproduce at your peril.

Tags: humor, satire, obama, invesco

Diplomatic Breakthru in Georgia: Red-Faced Russian Party Crashers Retreat

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 06:44:30 GMT

clipped by: merrie
clipper's remarks: continued.........but nobody thought it was going to turn into a big ugly scene."

Russia's invasion prompted a quick stern response from GOP presidential candidate John McCain, while Democratic candidate Barack Obama urged Russia and Georgia to "work together to iron out their differences," and "chills, y'all." After learning that Georgia was a US ally, Obama clarified the remarks, demanding that Russia withdraw its troops north to Tennessee and West Virginia.

"Everyone was just sort of staring at Russia, who's in the middle of beating the hell out of Georgia, and Russia's like, 'what? Come on man, you have to admit it's funny,'" said a source with UNSCOM. "So Russia's going around, looking for high fives and is like, 'don't leave me hangin', bro,' but the G8 gives him the total gas face, so he's like, 'whatever, dude, this party sucked anyway.'"

Clip Source: iowahawk.typepad.com

"Look, I don't really know what to say - other than, 'hey, our bad,'" said Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov in an awkward, shoe-gazing statement to the United Nations. "Seriously, dude, it just totally wasn't like us to lash out like that. We've been having a couple of bad decades, and I guess we just sort of snapped."

Lavrov and Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin left several messages on the voice mail machine of Georgian president Mikheil Saakashvili offering apologies and help cleaning up the damage from the weekend invasion. Sources say an angry Saakashvili was in no mood for forgiveness.

Russia's embarrassing geopolitical faux pas began over the weekend, just as the world was celebrating the opening of the Olympic Games in Beijing.

"Russia said South Ossetia invited them, to try out some of their pipeline stash," explained a source with the French Foreign Ministry. "I know Russia used to have something going on with Georgia,

Tags: humor, satire, georgia, russia, south ossetia, putin, mccain

DBQ 6

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 23:48:01 GMT

clipped by: Chem2009

Clip Source: www.pbs.org

JUVENAL

Juvenal on women

"Really aggravating is that woman who sits down at a dinner party and immediately starts holding forth, weighing the merits of Virgil against Homer. Words spew from her mouth, clattering like pots and pans. Lawyers and vendors and even other women dare not speak. Such matters are men's concerns."

(Juvenal, Satire VI)

Tags: rome, women, juvenal

DBQ 5

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 23:46:56 GMT

clipped by: Chem2009

Clip Source: www.pbs.org

JUVENAL

Juvenal on Rome

Now consider the dangers of night: Tiles fall from the rooftop and crack you on the head; and the drunken hooligan, spoiling for a fight, cannot rest without a brawl. What can you do when a raving madman confronts you? Or tenants throw their broken pots out the window. You're courting disaster if you go to dinner before writing your will."

(Juvenal, Satire III)

"Our apartment block is a tottering ruin. The building manager props it up with slender poles and plasters over the gaping cracks. Then, he bids us sleep safe and sound in this wretched death trap."

(Juvenal, Satire III)

"I would love to live where there are no fears in the dark of night. Even now I smell fire and hear a neighbour cry out for water as he struggles to save his measly belongings. Smoke pours out from the third story as flames move upwards. But the poor wretch who lives at the top with a leaking roof and roosting birds is oblivious to the danger and sure to burn."

(Juvenal, Satire III)

Tags: rome, juvenal, fear, safety

McCain "Thank God liberals don't shoot people"

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 23:22:11 GMT

clipped by: kkcapricorn
clipper's remarks: Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Clip Source: www.unconfirmedsources.com

McCain "I'm safe Democrates don't try to murder their polical opponents."

DENVER, Colorado (Ucs News) --Responding to reports of white supremacist "meth heads" planning to assassinate Barack Obama in Denver, Arizona Senator John McCain stated he was grateful that "All liberals are cowards that hate guns." and the he feels "perfectly safe."

The Obama campaign offices in St. Paul Minnesota were also attacked. When police arrived to the scene, officer found two large plate glass windows and a glass door completely smashed out and paint splattered on the outside and inside of the building. A campaign worker was in the basement at the time of the incident, but was unhurt. Police believe the Obama campaign office was targeted because of its Democratic affiliation.

McCain campaign has largely been free of the death threats and violence that have plagued is challenger Barack Obama.

Tags: satire, unconfirmedsources

Humility, Schmumility

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 01:50:11 GMT

clipped by: willhelm
clipper's remarks: Sincerely,
Donald J. Boudreaux

Clip Source: cafehayek.typepad.com

Dear Editor:

When I saw your headline "Obama Practices Humility Preached to Him" (August 24), I thought that the accompanying story must be a satire. But then I read the story and discovered that you're serious.

Get real. No truly humble person - no person who understands the limits of his own intelligence and capacity - parades around posing as the first plural pronoun in the outrageously narcissistic chant "we are the change we have been waiting for." No one with genuine humility utters anything so cocksure as Mr. Obama's promise to get one million 150-mpg cars on the road by 2015, or his vow to reduce Americans' carbon emissions by 80 percent (!) by 2050. Genuinely humble people don't presume to know how much profit earned by private companies is "windfall" - and they certainly don't formulate plans to confiscate such profits.

Indeed, no one within a light year of humility wants the kind of power and gaudy glory that Mr. Obama and Mr. McCain so desperately seek.

2020

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 08:48:20 GMT

clipped by: DeMaistre

Clip Source: thepeoplescube.com

Here are some headlines we can expect to see in the year 2020 if our society continues its glorious march to the People's Revolution:

Rev. Jeremiah Wright receives Nobel Peace Prize for trendsetting work in race relations

San Francisco city ordinance: Public display of heterosexual affection (by US citizens) punishable by $1000 fine

Michael Moore sweeps Oscars with his film Bin Laden Mon Amour

Supreme Court approves quotas for mentally-retarded applicants to PhD programs in the humanities

Army announces new “fair trade” rules of engagement: Enemy must be given equal weapons before fight begins

Hamas nukes Copenhagen; UN condemns Israel

First group of infants successfully undergo lung-reduction surgery to reduce carbon dioxide emissions

First gay marriage ceremony between gorillas performed in Amsterdam

Development of squirrel-driven automobile engine halted by PETA protests

Last oil well in Texas goes dry; “A great moment for America” says Secretary of Energy

Tags: humor, spoof, parody, satire

McCain selects running-mate

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:52:59 GMT

clipped by: kkcapricorn
clipper's remarks:

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious

Clip Source: www.unconfirmedsources.com

While on the podium with rival Barack Obama McCain announced that Bigfoot would be his running mate. Bigfoot then joined the two men onstage for a rousing round of applause and adulation.

While the timing of the selection was certainly a master stroke, some experts are wondering if the selection itself was as masterful, politically speaking, as Bigfoot is a bit of an unknown.

"I figure Bigfoot has a several strong positives and just a few weaker negatives." says has Republican operative Sasha Quatch, of the American Institute, a Republican think-tank. "He is a strong vital character, which any VP of John McCain must be, he is also a political outsider which should help McCain with voters suspicious of his long 'inside the beltway' career. The only negatives are that he is a bit on an unknown and his speaking style is a bit gruff to be a great communicator in the television age. But I have to say that On the whole I think he is a solid choice."

Tags: satire

10 Hollywood Classics and what really made them good

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:21:46 GMT

clipped by: a_chink_in_ur_armor

Clip Source: notdirtywriter.net

Original, Edgy:
It was original in the sense of it being a bloody, violent movie that wasn’t predictable and wasn’t like anything a Hollywood writer would have come with on his own. You had Palahniuk’s homo-erotic social critique/satire acted out by 2 decent actors and directed by a genius who can make any scene feel dark and and grungy. It had the feel of being a movie unlike anything you had seen before, and was going some place that Hollywood would likely never go again.

Tags: movies, film, films, cinema, entertainment

One Armed Female Ping Pong Player at Beijing Olympics 2008

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:53:49 GMT

clipped by: stoker

Clip Source: jesusbudda.wordpress.com

I met the famous one-armed ping pong player today at the Bijing Olympics.

Nice woman. Only one arm but her handshake was very strong (obviously using her other arm).

Seing as we have so much in common - namely, both being champion ping pong competitorsat these Olympic Games - we got talking about life, love and talking weasels.

Tags: satire

My Spoof folder

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:27:12 GMT

clipped by: stoker
clipper's remarks: I need writers - for free

Clip Source: my-spoof.blogspot.com

All articles on this blog are untrue and fabricated.
Any similarity to persons, dead or alive, is totally fluky or is intended simply as a satire, parody or spoof.

Not a single word is true.

Tags: satire, parody, spoof