Clipmarks | Mlf Clips

10 realistic rules for good non-monogamous relationships

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:31:21 GMT

1. Know yourself. For starters, be brutally honest with yourself and answer the following questions. I’m not kidding about the brutal part. Sugarcoating will not help you here.

2. Love yourself. Okay, so this sounds like the greatest cliché known to man, but it’s actually the basic ingredient for good non-monogamy.

3. Be happy ALONE. Yes, that’s right. Alone. All alone. No partner.

4. Communicate. Honestly. Now comes the time where you take all that brutal honesty with yourself, and translate it into brutal honesty with your partner(s).

5. Know what you want. Here’s another list of questions for ya.

6. Go for content, not form.

7. Be nice. Polyamory is not about the technicalities. It’s the spirit, not the letter of the law that counts.

8. Have safer sex. This doesn’t just mean use a condom.

9. Be strong. Make no mistake about it: choosing a polyamorous relationship style is a radical thing.

10. Go with the flow. In other words, don’t go out looking for anything.

Tags: relationships, non-monogamy, mlf

7 habits of highly effective open relationships

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:26:04 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: defendingtheraven.blogspot.com

1. To thine own self be true. First and foremost before even entering into the conversation about opening your relationship in any way you have to be honest with yourself. Is this something you, as an individual, want? Something you're interested in, excited by, and want to try? Or, are you doing it for your partner? If you are then stop.

2. Like in monopoly, house rules apply.

3. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

4. Everyone gets a veto.

5. "Can you hear me now?" is not just a cheesy line from a commercial.

6. Change is a Force of Nature.

7. 1 + 1 + x = 2. Always.

Tags: relationships, sexuality, non-monogamy, mlf

And baby makes four: Raising a baby with three parents

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:25:15 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: babble.com

"Why do some kids have three parents?"

A group of our friends were spending a weekend at a cabin in the mountains, and our hosts' not-quite-three-year-old was starting to do the math. Over the squalls of nap-resisting toddlers, her mom responded without missing a beat: "Because they're lucky."

Living in a committed multiple-adult household always takes some explaining. In a nutshell: My wife and I were college girlfriends and had a commitment ceremony more than ten years ago. Our husband joined our family in 2001, and we had a three-way wedding in 2005. We own a house and car together and are equal co-parents (or as equal as you can be when one person is breastfeeding) to our one-and-a-half-year-old daughter.

Tags: relationships, polyamory, mlf

Is it love, or a mutual strangulation society?

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:11:48 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

Each of the following five statements is the polar opposite of what most Americans see as loving commitment. But these are "meat loves salt" commitments, as necessary as they are unconventional. Only if you and your beloved can honestly say them to each other is your relationship likely to thrive.

Want an honest and long lasting relationship? Make sure you and your partner can recite these five statements.

I can live without you, no problem

My love for you will definitely change

You're not everything I need

I won't always hold you close

You and I aren't one

Tags: relationships, mlf, polyamory

Dreams

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:38:13 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: community.livejournal.com

Dreams | Zink Magazine | September 2007

Tags: photography, mlf

Nina Valkhoff - Delfts Blue toilet seat

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:07:03 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.incredible-interior.com

This toilet-seat is completely decorated in the famous 'Delfts Blue'-style. Even though it's a typical Dutch product, it surely fits on every toilet in the world!

Hand-painted on solid wood with oil-paint. The fastening-system is chromium-plated with brass. Varnished with 5 layers of glossy varnish, especially to protect the painting against urine and cleaning products. (this kind of varnish is also used for boat-exteriors)

Tags: mlf

Amazing Story (Kanzen-naru shiiku: Onna rihatsushi no koi)

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 15:59:36 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.filmfestivalrotterdam.com

Again, Kobayashi takes us along to a snow-covered Hokkaido, where this time a man kidnaps the hairdresser of a small town. Not a thriller, but a lightly erotic drama about loneliness.

Because of the desolate landscape, Kobayashi chose snow-covered Hokkaido (the most northern island of Japan) as the setting for Amazing Story, a light-erotic drama about a lonely man, Kenji, who kidnaps the woman of his dreams. The woman is Harumi, a hairdresser in the deserted town where Kenji has just arrived. It's never really busy in her business. Harumi's husband is a gambling addict and spends all Harumi's money. Maybe that's why Harumi doesn't try very hard to escape when Kenji kidnaps her. His concern about her and his boundless worship probably help, too. Something strange and beautiful blossoms between the kidnapper and his victim, but can this be the basis of a long and happy encounter?

Tags: mlf

Lust, Caution

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:48:05 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.8weekly.nl

Het jongste kunststuk van Taiwanees regisseur Ang Lee intrigeert en ontroert. De film is gebaseerd op een opmerkelijk en op waarheid gebaseerd kort verhaal van Eileen Chang. Zij worstelde dertig jaar lang met haar slechts 28 pagina's tellende werkje. In 1942 is Sjanghai door de Japanners bezet. Mevrouw Mak gaat op de thee bij Mevrouw Yee en haar vriendinnen. Ze spelen de hele dag mahjong terwijl hun rijke, collaborerende mannen de stad verdelen. Mevrouw Mak is voorzichtig, zij is er nog niet achter dat als de eerste helft van de titel Lust je in zijn greep heeft het veel te laat is voor de tweede, Caution.

In deze erotische thriller wordt er zeer ruig, inventief, stijlvol, geil, spannend en vooral met overgave geneukt. In China werd dit Ang Lee niet in dank afgenomen, en in zijn film werd fors geknipt om deze geschikt te maken voor Chinese consumptie. Venetië wist de film wel op waarde te schatten, met als resultaat een Gouden Leeuw.

Tags: erotica, movies, mlf

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:43:07 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.4women.gov

A person with CFS feels completely worn-out and overtired. This extreme tiredness makes it hard to do the daily tasks that most of us do without thinking — like dressing, bathing, or eating. Sleep or rest does not make the tiredness go away. It can be made worse by moving, exercising, or even thinking.

CFS can happen over time or come on suddenly. People who get CFS over time get more and more tired over weeks or months. People who get CFS suddenly feel fine one day and then feel extremely tired the next. A person with CFS may have muscle pain, trouble focusing, or insomnia (not being able to sleep). The extreme tiredness may come and go. In some cases the extreme tiredness never goes away. The extreme tiredness must go on for at least 6 months before a diagnosis of CFS can be made.

Tags: cfs, mlf

Basic Facts about CFS

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:39:49 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.cdc.gov

Chronic fatigue syndrome, or CFS, is a debilitating and complex disorder characterized by profound fatigue that is not improved by bed rest and that may be worsened by physical or mental activity. Persons with CFS most often function at a substantially lower level of activity than they were capable of before the onset of illness. In addition to these key defining characteristics, patients report various nonspecific symptoms, including weakness, muscle pain, impaired memory and/or mental concentration, insomnia, and post-exertional fatigue lasting more than 24 hours. In some cases, CFS can persist for years. The cause or causes of CFS have not been identified and no specific diagnostic tests are available.

Tags: cfs, mlf

Methods for Decreasing Dependency: Change Your Identity

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:24:18 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.mentalhelp.net

Change your Identity. If you've been in a dependent position for a long time, chances are that dependency has become ingrained into your identity; your vision of yourself; your self-concept. You may even engage in labeling yourself, "I'm a dependent sort of person" (labeling being a cognitive bias you might want to look into correcting).

To the extent that you see yourself as a fundamentally dependent person, you might profitably spend some time exploring how this identity came to be, and whether it fits who you want to become. The effort you put into exploring the reasons and ways you have come to think of yourself as fundamentally dependent will pay off by increasing your awareness and insight, which will, in turn, help you recognize and correct your dependent beliefs and behaviors.

Attend to the Past.

Attend to the Present, and to the Future.

"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step", as the saying goes.

Tags: psychology, mlf

Methods for Decreasing Dependency: Change Your Thoughts and Beliefs

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:17:29 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.mentalhelp.net

Various beliefs you may have that suggest your own judgment or worth is less than that of other people may be contributing to your dependent behavior.

You can use Cognitive Restructuring to gain awareness of these beliefs, which probably appear to you in the form of Automatic Thoughts if they are present at all, and then subject them to an objective criticism.

The second aspect of your thoughts you may want to address concerns the perspective from which you make judgments and appraisals.

For example, an insecure suitor might approach a potential relationship thinking, "Does she (or he) like me? What do I have to do in order to get her (or him) to like me?". This sort of thinking leads to a lack of respect on the part of the potential partner for the suitor. "If he (she) is willing to do anything I want to gain my favor, he must be desperate." It is, in general, much better to approach a new relationship thinking, "Do I like her (him)?"

Tags: psychology, mlf

Dependency

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 19:40:53 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.mentalhelp.net

To be dependent means to have needs that you cannot meet yourself, through your own actions. To be independent (or autonomous) means to be capable of meeting your own needs. Dependency and independence are two sides of the same coin. It is not possible to be entirely dependent in life, and neither is it possible to be entirely independent.

In life, the problem is not to eradicate dependency and become ultimately independent and self-sufficient, but rather to understand the difference between healthy, normal dependency that must be accepted as a condition of being alive, and unhealthy forms of dependency that could stand correction. Finding the proper balance between dependency and independence in life is what leads to fulfillment.

Tags: psychology, mlf

Soft Spots of four generations

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 13:28:31 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.signsofthetime.nl

Soft Spots of four generations

Soft spots are What Really Makes a Generation Tick. What are their collective ambitions, desires, worries and anxieties? What are these Soft Spots for the Computer Game Generation, for Generation Search (the adolescents and beyond), Generation X (the career striver, the family generation) and for the Baby Boomer 50+ generations?

Soft spots are the social DNA of a generation. Under each generation we give a short description/quote of each Soft Spot.
Signs of the time’s generational Soft Spots epitomize 15 years of research. Our clients work with them to be as relevant as possible to their customers and consumers.

Computer Game Generation (6-16-26-36-46-56..years old)

Generation Search (17-28 years old)

Generation X (29 - 45 years old)

50+ Boomer Generation (50 - 70 years old)

Tags: mlf, reference, generation x, dna

The Web is better when it's social

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 12:24:25 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: opensocialapis.blogspot.com

There's no denying that the web enables communication. The killer apps of the web -- email, instant messaging, blogging -- have enabled us to communicate with our friends, family, and the rest of the world on a large scale. But there is a newer characteristic of the web that has been emerging: to become social. The first wave of killer apps allowed us to communicate with the world at scale. The next wave is about connecting us and our online activities with our friends.

Social networks have seen that next wave, and have started opening up developer APIs to enable third-party innovation on their websites. This is a great thing, but it has also led to a growing number of APIs which a developer must learn. So we took a look at the state of the web and asked how we could make development easier for both websites and developers. Out of that exercise came OpenSocial.

Tags: google, opensocial, socialnetworks, blog, mlf