Clipmarks | Joke Clips

Shilpa Shetty Wallpapers

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:18:56 GMT

clipped by: funkytunky
clipper's remarks: Shilpa shetty born on 8 June 1975 in a traditional close-knit family in Mangalore. Shilpa was her school team’s baseball captain. She is a black belt karate champion. Shilpa is known to have a great sense of humor and has the capacity to crack jokes on her. She’ll start laughing even before you crack a joke. Shilpa’s favorite actors include Tom Cruise and Jackie Chan. Shilpa’s method of spending a holiday would be to wake up late, cook, watch movies, work out and spend time with her family.

Clip Source: www.funkytunky.com

Funkytunky.com

It's Fun.

Shilpa Shetty Wallpapers

Shilpa shetty born on 8 June 1975 in a traditional close-knit family in Mangalore. Shilpa was her school team’s baseball captain. She is a black belt karate champion. Shilpa is known to have a great sense of humor and has the capacity to crack jokes on her. She’ll start laughing even before you crack a joke. Shilpa’s favorite actors include Tom Cruise and Jackie Chan. Shilpa’s method of spending a holiday would be to wake up late, cook, watch movies, work out and spend time with her family.

Tags: shilpa shethy

Get A Low APR On Credit Cards

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:29:20 GMT

clipped by: creditcardsapr
clipper's remarks: Cool weebly site about how (and why) to get a low apr on credit cards. Good information, well told.

Clip Source: low-apr-on-credit-cards.weebly.com

Low APR On Credit Cards

Why Should You Want A Low APR On Credit Cards? 11/07/2009

So, why should you want a low APR on credit cards? What the heck is an APR anyway? And what's a low APR? And why would you want one? Isn't higher better? Well, not in golf, right? APRs are like golf. Well, not really. Probably there's a joke here about "getting in the hole" but I don't know what it is. Anyway, I'll answer all these questions and more. Just keep reading.

And What's a Low APR?

Basically, in today's economy, anything below 10% is considered a low credit card APR. Anything above 12% is high, and anything above 16% is exorbitant.

Benefit fraud

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:51:50 GMT

clipped by: notareargunner
clipper's remarks: What Parliamentary seat does this thief have?

53.000 prosecuted this year and they turn a blind eye to the massive crime committed within the walls of Westminster..What a f**king joke.
Who votes for these parasites???

Clip Source: campaigns.dwp.gov.uk

Benefit Thieves

It’s not if we catch you, it’s when

Tags: fraud, parliament, uk government

Another of Srishti's jokes published

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:50:54 GMT

clipped by: seethis

Clip Source: www.healthcarerepublic.com

Ring your own bell

I recently visited a warden-controlled home. I went looking for one of the healthcare assistants who usually accompany the residents to the lounge after their lunch.

When got to the lounge and asked about the whereabouts of the carers an elderly lady promptly replied, rather disapprovingly: 'Don't you have your bell around your neck? You need to press it to call them!'

Although she was trying to be helpful I hope it will be several years before I have to have a bell around my neck.

Dr Srishti Dutta,

Tags: joke, gp, pulse, srishti dutta

MORE OF THE SAME

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:52:50 GMT

clipped by: censusguyZ
clipper's remarks: 1000$ DINNERS-PLANES PROVIDED-WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS-THE PROTOTYPICAL REPUBLICAN WHO REEKS OF MORE OF THE SAME

Clip Source: us.mg3.mail.yahoo.com

Baker Fundraiser Set For National GOP Group In D.C.
KHBS - KHOG Fort Smith - Fayetteville Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:32 AM PST
Gilbert Baker is to hold a $1,000-a-person fundraiser for his Senate bid later this month at the National Republican Senatorial Committee's headquarters in Washington. The committee, however, said that doesn't mean it's endorsing his bid.

Gilbert Baker Flies Around Arkansas Talking About Health Care
Arkansas News Bureau Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:21 PM PST
What is that up in the air today? Why itâs none other than State Sen. Gilbert Baker talking about Sen. Blanche Lincoln and healthcare. Sorry if that joke is over your head but Baker is flying around the state today with stops in a Conway, Little Rock, Jonesboro, El Dorado, Texarkana, Fort Smith, and Fayetteville. âOne, I [...]

Sex and school don’t mix

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:11:53 GMT

clipped by: Tri-City Psychology

Clip Source: www.timesonline.co.uk

So Ed Balls has decreed that sex education will be compulsory. (At the moment, parents can opt out if they don’t fancy the idea of their little darlings being given the facts of life by spotty Mr Boil in a grotty classroom.) From 2011 the nanny state will be given full control of the birds and the bees (opening instalments from age five; no parental opt-out at all for 15-year-olds) and if you bunk off, you will be fined.

Sex ed has, of course, always been a bit of a joke. I have vivid memories of a flustered biology teacher showing 30 tittering girls how to put a condom on a boiling tube (the tube was rather puny, and the rubber sagged off it like an old balloon; poor Mrs W stuttered that it wasn’t quite like that in real life).

The argument expounded by Balls is that knowledge is power: telling kids how it all works and encouraging them to use contraception is meant to enable them to say no or to take precautions.

Tags: sex education

Milla Jovovich's Resident Evil Hypothermia Worries | Just Online Movies

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:24:25 GMT

clipped by: justonlinemovies2
clipper's remarks: Milla Jovovich's Resident Evil Hypothermia Worries | Just Online Movies

Clip Source: tweetmeme.com

Milla Jovovich's Resident Evil Hypothermia Worries | Just Online Movies

Clip Source: www.justonlinemovies.com

Celebrities, Celebrities News, News, News Celebrities

Milla Jovovich is worried she’ll catch hypothermia on the set of ‘Resident Evil Afterlife’.

The Ukranian born model turned actress told how she’s been feeling the elements while filming scenes for the new film, with sees Milla return as Alice, joined by co-stars Ali Larter and Wentworth Miller, in Canada.

She wrote on her twitter blog: “Wow, just finished a scene with Ali Larter and Wentworth Miller on a skiff approaching the huge ship. To say it’s cold is a joke. A bitter joke.

“Of course Ali and I aren’t wearing much and to make matters worse Wenty is driving the boat himself and crashing it repeatedly!

“Ok, it just started hailing and Wentworth is reading his lines really fast so he can go home! Ali is so cold now, she’s saying she’s feeling warm (classic signs of the final stages of hypothermia)”

Tags: milla jovovich, resident evil

Something to laugh at!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:11:55 GMT

clipped by: shaor

Clip Source: www.jokes.com

Joe takes his friend Steve hunting for the first time and reminds him to be still and keep quiet.

An hour into the woods, Joe hears Steve screaming behind him. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" says Joe.

"Hey, I kept quiet when the snake bit me," says Steve, "and I was quiet when the fox attacked me. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg just now, I heard one ask the other, 'Should we eat them now or take them with us?'"

More Animals Jokes »

Hunters Must Keep Quiet

Get another Animals Joke »

Must have been a funny joke

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:24:01 GMT

clipped by: clip-on-tie
clipper's remarks: Guess you had to be there. Sorry I missed that party.

Clip Source: www.break.com

Wish We Heard The Joke

Tags: lol n00b!

Liz Cheney emerges, the left's feeding frenzy (and "tolerance"), verging on abject panic

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:46:05 GMT

clipped by: clip-on-tie
clipper's remarks: So Liz Cheney, just like Palin, unnerves and upsets the Left, not simply because she might run for something and win, and not only because she is one of the most effective conservative spokeswomen on national security. She threatens their claim to the moral high ground and their assertion that women voters belong to the Left. That’s reason enough to send them into fits of rage. And you can bet they’re only getting warmed up.

So predictable. Saw this coming a mile away. It's almost boring watching the left piss their pants again over a woman who happens to be a conservative. Maybe we can expect David Letterman to crack a rape joke about Liz and her family, on behalf of the "tolerant" left.

Sad.

Chinese Proverb: “A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion"

Clip Source: www.copytaste.com

Clip Source: www.commentarymagazine.com

Noemie Emery takes note of the feeding frenzy, verging on abject panic, that is occurring on the Left with the emergence of Liz Cheney as a prominent figure in the conservative ranks. She observes:

She’s a Palin who could tie Katie Couric in knots, a mom from McLean who could be [TNR's Michelle] Cottle’s neighbor. Moms from McLean could be her constituents. Cottle couldn’t easily explain to a non-left-wing neighbor why Cheney is “dangerous.” That’s why Cottle hates her, and wants her destroyed. That’s why Liz, and those like her, bring out the witch-hunting bloodlust in liberals; why “gutsy” and “tough” in a Hillary Clinton become “savage” and “rough” in a female conservative. They ought to get over this fear of strong women. It’s what they told us to do.

Clip Source: www.copytaste.com

via

Tags: witch-hunting bloodlust in liberals

Hey... Want a Baby?

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:54:08 GMT

clipped by: dmoonme1
clipper's remarks: The expression
"life is cheap" seems to be true these days.
Why in the hell are people like this even allowed to be parents? I guess they didn't think to place an ad in the newspaper. They could've got a lot more from prospective baby seekers.
Don't attack me for that statement. It's more a reality than you might know.
Anyway...I'm just glad they don't have it any more (the baby that is). But knowing how things things go in our wonderful courts these days, it's possible they can get custody restored. That is if they want the poor thing.

Clip Source: weblogs.sun-sentinel.com

Here's a bargain. Parents try to sell their baby for $30.
> Posted by Barbara Hijek on September 13, 2009 07:00 AM

Look what $30 can buy.

A baby.

Robert G. Ellingson, 23, approached two people in a Pensacola PetSmart parking lot over the weekend and offered them a beer.

When they refused, he offered to sell his child for $30.

"At first they thought it was a joke," sheriff's spokesman Glenn Austin told the Pensacola News Journal. "But then the mother yelled to the group that they were trying to sell the baby. And one of them called us," reports News4Jax.com.

Authorities said the couple also tried to sell their baby in a bank parking lot a few blocks away an hour earlier.

No takers, evidently.

Authorities say the two-month-old is now in care of The Division of Children and Families.

Not a moment too soon.

Photo: Escambia County Sheriff's Office booking photos of Maghen Duvala and Robert Ellingson
News4Jax

One person's perception..............

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 17:00:12 GMT

clipped by: mountainpalm
clipper's remarks: So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer...!

go to gather.com for rest of the list.

Clip Source: www.gather.com

If George Bush was an idiot......

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?

On Afghanistan, from Blackfive’s Deebow

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:40:37 GMT

clipped by: merrie
clipper's remarks: You dishonor the memories of the fallen and disrespect the families of those who continue to fight on by your continued excuse-making and endless consultation that serves no other purpose than to appear as if you are doing something, while searching in vain for what you perceive to be a better answer.

Mr. President, deciding to do nothing is still a decision.

I demand, decency demands, Americans who believe in victory demand, and most importantly, the American families with family members in the fight, who certainly have the most invested and unquestionably the most to lose demand that the politics, excuse making and dithering end and that you give the necessary support to the men and women who are bearing the battle and taking the fight to our enemies. I am not asking, I am telling you to listen to those with the knowledge and skills that can turn the tide of this rapidly resurgent enemy we face and to give them the resources they ask for.

Clip Source: www.bizzyblog.com

The title is “My Open Letter to the President.”

I post it without commentary, as none is really needed:

Soldiers see things in very definable terms. Words like “good” and “evil,” “victory” and “defeat” have concrete and definable meanings to us. Things in our world are fairly cut and dried. This is because the nature of our business has a great deal of finality to it and because we, the men and women in the fight write the check for the indicated price of victory. We are glad to do it without asking for a bargain on the cost. We are the first to see the cost of defeat in comrades wounded or killed. The price of freedom is etched in the faces and hearts of my brothers and sisters as they salute the flag draped casket of the friend who might have only moments before imparted some nugget of wisdom, told a funny joke, shared their fears and when the going was tough, stood with them shoulder to shoulder on the field of battle.

Tags: 0bama, afghanistan war, general mcchrystal, the price of freedom, us & allied military

Halloween Joke

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:20:12 GMT

clipped by: bookwormy
clipper's remarks: One of those "Whatever" jokes.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL YOU CLIPPERS!!

Clip Source: www.jokes.com

What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?

Bone appetit!

More Whatever Jokes »

Charles Krauthammer: The Three Envelopes

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:12:00 GMT

clipped by: merrie
clipper's remarks: I suppose, explain away his own, well, yearlong drift on Afghanistan.

This compulsion to attack his predecessor is as stale as it is unseemly. Obama was elected a year ago. He became commander in chief two months later. He then solemnly announced his own "comprehensive new strategy" for Afghanistan seven months ago.

Obama is obviously unhappy with the path he himself chose in March. Fine. He has every right -- indeed duty -- to reconsider. But what Obama is reacting to is the failure of his own strategy.

There is nothing new here. The history of both the Afghanistan and Iraq wars is a considered readjustment of policies that have failed. In each war, quick initial low-casualty campaigns toppled enemy governments. In the subsequent occupation stage, two policy choices presented themselves: the light or heavy "footprint."

In both Iraq and Afghanistan, we initially chose the light footprint.

[...]This was the considered judgment of our commanders at the time,

Clip Source: townhall.com

WASHINGTON -- Old Soviet joke:

Moscow, 1953. Stalin calls in Khrushchev.

"Niki, I'm dying. Don't have much to leave you. Just three envelopes. Open them, one at a time, when you get into big trouble."

A few years later, first crisis. Khrushchev opens envelope 1: "Blame everything on me. Uncle Joe."

A few years later, a really big crisis. Opens envelope 2: "Blame everything on me. Again. Good luck, Uncle Joe."

Third crisis. Opens envelope 3: "Prepare three envelopes."

In the Barack Obama version, there are 50 or so such blame-Bush free passes before the gig is up. By my calculation, Obama has already burned through a good 49. Is there anything he hasn't blamed George W. Bush for? The economy, global warming, the credit crisis, Middle East stalemate, the deficit, anti-Americanism abroad -- everything but swine flu.

It's as if Obama's presidency hasn't really started. He's still taking inventory of the Bush years. Just this Monday, he referred to "long years of drift" in Afghanistan in order to,

Tags: 0bama, afghanistan, general mcchrystals plan, troop reinforcement

Clipmarks | Joke Clips

Shilpa Shetty Wallpapers

Funkytunky.com

Shilpa Shetty Wallpapers

Get A Low APR On Credit Cards

And What's a Low APR?

Benefit fraud

Benefit Thieves

It’s not if we catch you, it’s when

Another of Srishti's jokes published

MORE OF THE SAME

Sex and school don’t mix

Milla Jovovich's Resident Evil Hypothermia Worries | Just Online Movies

Milla Jovovich's Resident Evil Hypothermia Worries | Just Online Movies

Something to laugh at!

Must have been a funny joke

Liz Cheney emerges, the left's feeding frenzy (and "tolerance"), verging on abject panic

Hey... Want a Baby?

Here's a bargain. Parents try to sell their baby for $30.> Posted by Barbara Hijek on September 13, 2009 07:00 AM

One person's perception..............

If George Bush was an idiot......

On Afghanistan, from Blackfive’s Deebow

Halloween Joke

Charles Krauthammer: The Three Envelopes

Here's a bargain. Parents try to sell their baby for $30.
> Posted by Barbara Hijek on September 13, 2009 07:00 AM