Clipmarks | Damn Clips

Ladies VS Real Women

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:30:46 GMT

Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You're probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine??!?!?!

AskNaughtyNikki

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 06:15:28 GMT

clipped by: AskNaughtyNikki

Clip Source: asknaughtynikki.com

Our house is so damn hot and my girl won’t have sex cuz she feels gross what shoud I do?

pay equality

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:21:54 GMT

clipped by: kathleenjoy

Clip Source: jezebel.com

Forbes reports (via MSNBC) that when calculating the cash pulled in by male CEOs of America's largest companies, the average take, including salary and bonuses, for all 500 CEOs was $12.8 million — double the female average of $6.5 million. But one of the most interesting things about Ms. Nooyi and some of the other top-earning female CEOs — Andrea Jung (Avon), Anne Mulcahy (Xerox), Christina Gold (Western Union) — is that you never really hear a damn thing about them.

'2012 Games to be held in Beijing too'

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 10:45:11 GMT

clipped by: tabsey
clipper's remarks: Seems the Chinese are using humour to combat the intrusion of the Games.

Clip Source: www.theage.com.au

"News flash: IOC President Jacques Rogge announces that because of China's enthusiasm and thoughtfulness, the next Olympics are going to be in Beijing too. Rumour has it state officials fainted and Beijing police led the wild cheers. Damn you, old man Rogge!"

Other Chinese have had fun messing around with word games, the tonal Chinese language being a gift to jokers, because a single pronunciation can have several wildly different meanings.

Thought the tender song You and Me at the opening of the Beijing Olympics was about peace and friendship? More like rising oil and food prices, some Chinese are saying.

"The Chinese name of the theme tune You and Me is 'You (oil) and Mi (rice)', an expression of concern about this year's oil and food problems ...," runs a Chinese-language joke being circulated online.

"Roll on the end of the Olympics," a poster wrote on another Chinese website, applauding the new phrase.

Tags: humour

site lists locations of red light cameras in many us cities

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:44:07 GMT

clipped by: kroqben
clipper's remarks: i hate these damn things.

Clip Source: www.photoenforced.com

About PhotoEnforced.com

PhotoEnforced.com is a database of red light camera and speed camera locations and fines. The database consists of almost 3200+ red light camera and speed camera locations and it is growing everyday.

Why Was Database Created?

Automated enforcement laws vary significantly from state to state; some authorize enforcement statewide, whereas others permit it only in specified communities. The use of red light cameras and speed cameras are used to help communities enforce traffic safety by automatically photographing vehicles of drivers who run red lights or who exceed posted speed limits. As a result, many safety hazards are associated with the use of these cameras due to erratic driving behavior. There are also many differences in automated enforcement laws in each state and most locations are unpublished. It is our mission to locate and track photo enforcement areas and applicable fines.

inflatable church

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:59:55 GMT

clipped by: zadoz
clipper's remarks: as if there's not enough churchs

Clip Source: blog.wfmu.org

The Inflatable Church

This is so moronic but, then again, so endearing to my implacable love of kitsch. You and your boo can now get hitched in an inflatable church. Perfect for those English, Belgian, Dutch and Spanish couples who won't be celebrating Earth Month and assembled by the European promotional structure manufacturers Innovations Xtreme Inflatables, this monstrosity is also a 2004 Guinness Book inductee for being (according to the incredibly vague search engine synopsis) "...the world's largest inflatable church in the world". The damn organ is even inflated and they airbrushed the stained glass windows. Could lazy be any more as lazy does?

Were any of you not pondering eloping to Belgium to get hitched, you do know you can have it transported to where you've designated you wish to get married, don't ya? Just write out a check for $50,000 and you can say "I do"--inside a ball pool. Mazel tov!

Tags: church, inflation

The New Reality

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:52:03 GMT

clipped by: bmeuppls
clipper's remarks: Same as the old reality... soft power is not a deterrent.

Clip Source: littlegreenfootballs.com

The new reality is that a nuclear, cash-rich, and energy-blessed Russia doesn’t really worry too much whether its long-term future is bleak, given problems with Muslim minorities, poor life-expectancy rates, and a declining population. Instead, in the here and now, it has a window of opportunity to reclaim prestige and weaken its adversaries. So why hesitate?

Indeed, tired of European lectures, the Russians are now telling the world that soft power is, well, soft. Moscow doesn’t give a damn about the United Nations, the European Union, the World Court at the Hague, or any finger-pointing moralist from Geneva or London. Did anyone in Paris miss any sleep over the rubble of Grozny?

With just a few tanks and bombs, in one fell swoop, Russia has cowered its former republics, made them think twice about joining the West, and stopped NATO and maybe E.U. expansion in their tracks. After all, who wants to die for Tbilisi?

Tags: politics

Russia Actually Exists

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:41:35 GMT

clipped by: ZenBonobo
clipper's remarks: This article proposes ways to counter Russia on her home ground. There are other ways but this is one.

The recent Georgian events were inspired by a NeoCon worldview that an audacious event precipitated by a client state just might replicate David with his sling. In this case . . .NOT! There was and remains too much to lo lose. There are pipeline and energy schemes at stake and the loss of prestige and honor by the US in its inability to cover the losses of such a small but vital little merde pile at the far end of the Black Sea.

What were they thinking.

Clip Source: russia-exists.blogspot.com

It Feels So Damn Good

The South Ossetian conflict began and ended with some epic examples of badly timed blog posts. First, a couple of "the Russians have sucked it down, they can't do jack now" posts on August 8, a mere hour or two before the surprise (that wasn't). But I'm pleased to say the worst of timing luck has befallen our old friend La Russophobe. You don't want to be the hysterical war-monger when your "dangerous" "enemy" have just shown themselves to be wise and to mean what they say.

Russia Actually Exists

windmills will win the election

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 01:57:16 GMT

clipped by: nomereveneerofvanity
clipper's remarks: video at the source, for some reason it wouldn't clip!

Clip Source: gawker.com

Kinda spooky crane shots through futuristic windfarms are the new adorable little girls sleeping at 3 a.m.. Or puppies, maybe. Both Barack Obama and John McCain used the same damn shot in recent ads, suggesting that their energy policies are both based on pissing off Ted Kennedy and his neighbors. They really ought to have someone vet stock footage, right? Our own Richard Blakeley spotted the matching footage and put together the damning clip that will swing this election to Ron Paul. Paul only uses fiercely independent stock footage the mainstream media are too scared to show you.

Laser weapons, damn it!

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:31:33 GMT

clipped by: cakebelly

Clip Source: news.bbc.co.uk

'Laser jumbo' testing moves ahead

A US military plane equipped with a powerful laser has moved a step closer to becoming a viable weapon.

Engineers have started flowing chemical fuel through the laser to test its sequencing and control.

This will set up the first test firing of the weapon aboard the aircraft while it is on the ground.

The US Air Force's Airborne Laser (ABL) is designed to shoot down enemy ballistic missiles in the early stages of their flight.

"The Airborne Laser team has done a great job preparing the high-energy laser for these fuel tests, which will lead the way toward achieving 'first light' of the laser aboard the aircraft," said Mike Rinn, vice president of Boeing, which is prime contractor on the project.

"Once again, we made and demonstrated enormous progress toward ushering in a new age of directed-energy weapons."

Freedom In The View Of Justice William O. Douglas

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:24:37 GMT

clipped by: BartendingBear
clipper's remarks: Damn straight, I'd say.

Clip Source: www.neatorama.com

William O. "Wild Bill" Douglas (1898 - 1980) was the longest-serving justice in the history of the U.S. Supreme Court. Here's what he has to say about free speech, freedom, and the government:

"The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom."

"It was against a background poignant with memories of evil procedures that our Constitution was drawn."

"As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we must be most aware of change in the air - however slight - lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness."

"An arrest is not justified by what the subsequent search discloses."

"Those who won our independence believed ... liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty."

"What a man thinks is of no concern to government."

"Words uttered under coercion are proof of loyalty to nothing but self-interest."

who doesn't love google earth?

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 03:04:23 GMT

clipped by: Nuathi
clipper's remarks: check out digg to get to the full story.

Clip Source: digg.com

Radius: Google Earth Meets

gamesareevil.com — Michael Tseng, the lead designer of Radius for iPhone, was inspired to create the game after repeatedly seeing folks interact with Google Earth. “They just kept spinning that damn sphere,” he remarked in our interview, Radius has a simple, singular goal: in this case, find the enemies constantly spawning and tap them into oblivion.

Bury

OptionalDuplicate Story Spam Wrong Topic Inaccurate OK, This is Lame

Favorite? GamesAreEvil 33 min ago

3 diggs
dugg!

Prick for God

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:03:41 GMT

clipped by: ofcapri
clipper's remarks: Little Mary gets asked three questions at school. Unfortunately she is asleep!

Clip Source: www.thehumorarchives.com

Prick for God

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

Tags: mary

damn

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 23:13:58 GMT

clipped by: Snotme

Clip Source: eatinbugs.com

Congressman Alcee L. Hastings Calls Democratic National Committee Members "Stupid"

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:31:48 GMT

clipped by: Judge Love
clipper's remarks: Congressman Hastings shoud have never attacked his own Party Leaders.

That's like telling a Chef you want to return your dinner for a new one because the one you got tastes like garbage!

Not a smart move Alcee, not smart at all !

Clip Source: www.blogfordemocracy.org

DNC Smackdown by Rep. Alcee Hastings

Washington, DC - U.S. Representative Alcee L. Hastings (D-Miramar) issued the following statement

"Florida Democrats have been serially abused and the DNC is the latest of offenders. How the DNC has the authority to ignore the votes of 'Jack and Jane Lunch Bucket' is beyond my understanding. The insiders who actively sought to disillusion and disenfranchise the more than 1.75 million Florida Democrats who voted on January 29 give new meaning to collective arrogance.

"The DNC's decision today ignores the core principle of our great democracy: the right to vote. I know that the 1.75 million Democrats who voted on January 29 count and don’t give a damn what the DNC rules pronounce.

"I suppose the DNC has the right to block Democrats in Florida from attending the National Convention. They also have the right to be stupid, and stupid they are.