Clipmarks | Woman Clips

How to make a woman happy

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 16:31:22 GMT

clipped by: Djiezes
clipper's remarks:

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Tags: woman, women, man, men, happy, happiness, humor, fun, funny, list

Hidden messages in words? Cool.

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 09:57:45 GMT

clipped by: fudzzz
clipper's remarks: Check out the Mother-in-Law one. LMAO.

Clip Source: mail.google.com

This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in awhile.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Tags: play, words, scrabble, cool, fudzzz, hidden

Difference between Men and Women

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:07:29 GMT

clipped by: zohaib
clipper's remarks: all true !!!

Clip Source: www.koolstuffs.net

Difference between Men and Women

Published October 15, 2006 by Zohaib

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
want

A woman worries about the future until she gets
a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets
a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him
a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

No sense two people remembering the same thing

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new argument.

Filed under Humor

Water Art »
« Famous Quotes on Marriage

Tags: men, women, gender, sex

The Most Flexible Woman Ever?

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 18:04:19 GMT

clipped by: LadyBanana

Clip Source: www.ladybanana.co.uk

[Video]

Tags: woman, girl, flexible

A woman without her man is nothing.

Tue, 01 May 2007 21:50:24 GMT

clipped by: thegreatone22254

Clip Source: www.thehumorarchives.com

Tags: funny, women, men

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 12:30:25 GMT

clipped by: Scattered_Fusion
clipper's remarks: Well here's 5. Check the site for the rest.

Clip Source: www.eioba.com

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

Tags: sex, mistakes, men, woman, entertainment, education, true

Never Argue With a Woman Who Reads

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 07:28:25 GMT

clipped by: ArghDangIt

Clip Source: mark.phillk.net

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the
wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short

distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the

woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could

start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"

says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can

also think.

Tags: humor, reading

I think you're the father of one of my kids

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 16:13:06 GMT

clipped by: debbyski

Clip Source: members2.boardhost.com

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?"

She replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God":

Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that tied me to the the pool table, gagged me with your sequined bra, shaved my pubes, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery? My buddies still laugh themselves senseless over that night!

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

Tags: joke

Evolution’s Secret Weapon: Grandma

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 04:32:36 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks:

Women are not being helped along by others. The flow of help is going into the other direction.

Is there a woman alive, who did not know this already?

Clip Source: well.blogs.nytimes.com

Evolution’s Secret Weapon: Grandma

Are grandmothers an evolutionary necessity?

In the animal world, females often don’t live much past their reproductive years. But in our world, women live into their 80s and beyond — a fact that may be explained, in part, by evolutionary forces.

research suggests that far from being a burden to societies, grandmothers have played an important role in the evolution of human longevity. Studies of modern hunter-gatherers in Tanzania, Venezuela and Eastern Paraguay — societies that offer insights into how humans evolved — consistently show that Grandma is doing much of the work.

It’s the women over 40 who are carrying the heavy loads

The research is the basis for the grandmother hypothesis that may help explain why menopause occurs. The basic idea is that an end to a woman’s reproductive years allows her to channel her energy and resources into caring for her children and grandchildren, thereby providing her descendants with a survival advantage.

Tags: women, evolution, work, longevity, menopause, survival

Funny Anagrams

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:06:51 GMT

clipped by: Llezika

Clip Source: pages.videotron.com

This should appeal to the intellectual in you...
An Anagram, as you know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. No letters can be used twice or left out. The following ones are exceptionally clever (someone out there either has *way* too much time on their hands or is deadly at Scrabble):

          Word/Phrase                     Anagram
   -------------------------       ---------------------

          Dormitory                     Dirty Room

          Evangelist                    Evil's Agent

          Desperation                   A Rope Ends It

          The Morse Code                Here Come Dots

          Slot Machines                 Cash Lost in 'em

          Animosity                     Is No Amity

          Mother-in-law                 Woman Hitler  :)

          Snooze Alarms                 Alas! No More Zs

          Alec Guinness                 Genuine Class

          Semolina                      Is No Meal

          The Public Art Galleries      Large Picture Halls, I Bet

          A Decimal Point               I'm a Dot in Place

          The Earthquakes               That Queer Shake

          Eleven plus two               Twelve plus one

          Contradiction                 Accord not in it

Tags: humor

Don't Arguew/the gay flight attendant

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 03:23:11 GMT

clipped by: qeneoft

Clip Source: humour.200ok.com.au

Don't Argue With The Gay Flight Attendant

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."

Tags: funny, story, gay, flight attendant

The “Ideal” Female Body

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:18:04 GMT

clipped by: kankamuso

Clip Source: healthbolt.net

1639 - The Three Graces; Pieter Pauwel Rubens

1887 - Pierre Auguste Renoir, The Bathers

1920 - Thin, short haired flapper.

1950 - Marylin Monroe (Size 14)

1960 - Twiggy Lawson (Aka the beginning of the end.) This was the first time in history that an under weight woman became the standard for the ideal body image.

1970’s - Karen Carpenter (Died in 1983 from heart failure as a complication of Anorexia Nervosa)

1988 - Cosmopolitan

2002 - Harper’s Bazaar

Modern day Fashion Model

Quick point of reference for that last one:

1944 - Nazi Holocaust Victim

Tags: fashion, body, female, women, lists, pictures

Who Discovered The Clitoris?

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:09:44 GMT

clipped by: debbyski

Clip Source: everything2.com

The clitoris was "discovered" (at least by males) and documented for the first time by Matteo Realdo Colombo: a lecturer in surgery at the University of Padua, Italy.

In 1559 he published a book called De re anatomica in which he described the "seat of woman's delight." He concluded, "since no one has discerned these projections and their workings, if it is permissible to give names to things discovered by me, it should be called the love or sweetness of Venus."

However others made claims to have discovered it. Gabriel Fallopius - Columbus' successor at Padua - disputed the assertion that Columbus discovered claiming credit for himself.

There are also several claims that knowledge of the clitoris was widely known well before either man's 'discovery'. But Colombo's remains the earliest physical documentation of the bud that would one day become a phenomenom leading to the sexual revolution.

Tags: columbo, discovered, more, than, america

What Women Want From Men

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 22:15:47 GMT

clipped by: alanocu

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

what women want…

Return her messages

Many women gauge a man’s interest level by how long it takes him to respond when she contacts him.

Clip Source: docs.google.com

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

Kiss her for no reason

As much as they love sex, women also enjoy a nice, deep kiss that doesn’t have any strings attached.

Clip Source: docs.google.com

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

Dance with her

Simply put, dancing with a woman makes her feel special.

Clip Source: docs.google.com

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

Dress up for her

Dressing up to take your woman out is an excellent way to impress her.

Clip Source: docs.google.com

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

Remember random milestones

As a rule, birthdays and anniversaries should always be remembered

Clip Source: docs.google.com

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

Take on an activity with her

What women want from men is to spend time with their man outside of the bedroom.

Clip Source: docs.google.com

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

Propose a visit to her family

Women love it when a man gets along with her friends, but she simply adores it when he gets along with her family.

Clip Source: docs.google.com

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

it's the little things…

When it comes to what women want from men, the little things really do matter. The items on this list aren’t particularly difficult or time-consuming, but they are, unfortunately, very often overlooked

Tags: relationships

How the Bicycle Emancipated Women

Thu, 15 May 2008 15:53:07 GMT

clipped by: alanocu
clipper's remarks: "The National Woman Suffrage Association was formed by Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton 139 years ago today. To mark the anniversary, Chris Connolly is here to discuss the role of the bicycle in the women’s movement."

Highly recommended article at the source...clipped only a very small portion of the entire article: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/14985

I didn't mean to place the photo of the woman running the Triathlon after the text "Clearly, women needed to change their underwear." I don't know how it ended up that way....

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Clip Source: www.mentalfloss.com

Susan B. Anthony once said, “I think [bicycling] has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world.” A woman on a bicycle, the equal rights champion observed, presents “the picture of free and untrammeled womanhood.”

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Clip Source: www.mentalfloss.com

Susan and her fellow 19th-century women had been severely trammeled their entire lives. Forget the glass ceiling; women in those days were trapped under the glass floor.

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Clip Source: www.mentalfloss.com

Foremost, the Victorian lady rarely exercised or engaged in physical activity, which left her poorly conditioned. Secondly, it was fashionable to be frail.

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Clip Source: www.mentalfloss.com

Eventually, some women began to take a stand, and, in 1888, a letter published by The Rational Dress Society—a group of women who argued for reasonable clothing—stated, “the maximum weight of under-clothing (without shoes) approved by The Rational Dress Society, does not exceed seven pounds.”

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Clip Source: www.mentalfloss.com

Seven pounds of underwear? An improvement?

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Clip Source: www.mentalfloss.com

Clearly, women needed to change their underwear.

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Clip Source: www.mentalfloss.com

And that’s where the bicycle came in.

Clip Source: viewer.zoho.com

Tags: woman, suffrage, bicycles