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Life Would be Better Lived Backwards!

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 16:02:59 GMT

clipped by: AcesLucky
clipper's remarks: Excellent concept. This will put a smile to your face!

Life Would Be Better Lived Backwards

You'd start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready to start school.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then.......... you spend the last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.

Posted to Funny on May 26, 2007 6:20 PM | Permalink

Tags: funny, life, lifestyle, aging, longevity

LOL Animals, We ROOLZ !!

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 06:52:14 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: icanhascheezburger.com

Tags: humor, animals, internet idiocy

Sexercising keeps you fit and healthy

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 09:09:37 GMT

clipped by: abailart

Clip Source: news.bbc.co.uk

The NHS has some new advice for people struggling to schedule a fitness routine into their daily lives - a workout between the sheets.

According to the NHS Direct website, "sexercise" can lower the risk of heart attacks and helps people live longer.

Endorphins released during orgasm stimulate immune system cells, which also helps target illnesses like cancer, as well as wrinkles, it states.

"Forget about jogging round the block or struggling with sit-ups.

"Sex uses every muscle group, gets the heart and lungs working hard, and burns about 300 calories an hour."

The advice suggests "regular romps this winter" could lead to a better body and a younger look.

Increased production of endorphins "will make your hair shine and your skin smooth," it adds.

"If you're worried about wrinkles - orgasms even help prevent frown lines from deepening."

keep mild illnesses like colds and aches and pains at bay

feeling fabulous inside and out

Tags: health

Redefining the Limits of the Human Body

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 12:43:02 GMT

clipped by: wildcat
clipper's remarks: While humans have been set apart from other animals as a species that makes tools, that definition may change to it being the only species that incorporates tools.

Clip Source: www.weforum.org

The discussion particularly explored the possibilities that neuroscience holds for extending knowledge and the profound implications that technology holds for people who are physically or cognitively impaired. It was suggested that homo sapiens is evolving into homo roboticus.

Other insights:

Brain activity that produces action can be recorded. As a result, signals can be sent in real time to robotic devices, either implanted or remote. It is possible, for example, for the brain/machine interface to enable an amputee wearing a robotic vest to regain mobility.

Implanted neuro-prostheses can restore motor functions in cases of spinal cord injuries or lesions. They can "read" intentions of the brain to produce movement.

Prosthetic limbs will be able to provide osteoperception as well as movement.

Implants, called bions, which work wirelessly, can be inserted into muscles in the body to enable direct control of robots

Tags: robotics, neuroscience, brain, human body, limits

Words in your brain

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 12:36:35 GMT

clipped by: wildcat

Clip Source: www.sharpbrains.com

Brain Teaser: Words in your brain, learn as you exercise!

Do you know where words are stored in your brain...?

In your temporal lobe! Here is a drawing of the brain so you can see where your temporal lobe is (in green) on a profile view of the right side of your brain.

As you know your brain has two sides (two hemispheres) connected by the corpus callosum. So you have one temporal lobe on each side of the brain.

Words in the brain are not stored randomly. They seemed to be quite organized. Research has shown that words that are often heard together (such as salt and pepper) or words that share some meaning (such as nurse and doctor) are connected or associated in the brain. Once you hear one, the other is activated.

Here is a brain exercise whose aim is to stimulate the connections or associations between words in your temporal lobe.

Ready to stimulate connections in your temporal lobe(s)? Enjoy! (Solutions are below. Please don't check them until you have trid to solve all the pairs!)

Tags: brain, words, training

Jesus Will Save Them

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 15:11:51 GMT

clipped by: debbyski
clipper's remarks: Substitutionary atonement at work again.

Clip Source: www.nytimes.com

The revision of a contentious Good Friday prayer approved this week by Pope Benedict XVI could set back Jewish-Catholic relations, Conservative Judaism’s international assembly of rabbis says in a resolution to be voted on next week.

The prayer calls for God to enlighten the hearts of Jews “so that they may acknowledge Jesus Christ, the savior of all men.”

Before the Second Vatican Council, also known as Vatican II, the Good Friday Mass in Latin prayed for the conversion of Jews, referring to their “blindness” and calling upon God to “lift a veil from their hearts.”

An unofficial translation of the new prayer reads: “Let us pray for the Jews. May the Lord Our God enlighten their hearts so that they may acknowledge Jesus Christ, the savior of all men.”

Lay Jewish groups this week called the change insufficient.

Tags: from, hell, eh

An Impromptu Press Conference With God

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 16:23:31 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks:

My 'Ways' are only mysterious because you spend all your time following celebrities instead of studying science. Every answer is in quantum physics and DNA. Figure it out.

Clip Source: www.linkydinky.com

All these statements are from God:

Here's how you cure cancer: make it more cool for a kid to grow up to be a scientist than it is for him to be an athlete or a Pop Star.

"You can travel to other planets after you learn to take care of this one."

Ha! Aliens don't believe in you, either.

"He was guilty as hell, but the cops did plant the glove by the fence and Nicole's blood on the sock."

"The Jews are not 'chosen' they're just smarter than their enemies, that's all there is to it. Jews put much more emphasis on science, and whoever knows the most about science wins. It's that simple."

If the Bible was My Word, I would have put my name on it and I wouldn't let it be rewritten a million different ways. The Bible was supposed to be a nice storybook about happy things and some poetry and some history. Now look at it.

"Nostradamus was a hoot. Hister! Ha! I liked that one. I truly enjoyed much of his poetry, and I should have had him work on the Bible, it would've been more entertaining.

Tags: more, at, the, source

FAIL!

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 16:40:07 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken

Clip Source: www.fuentebetsaida.com