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Funny Epitaphs

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:23:27 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: I clipped this for you alanocu to go with your *romantic* cemetary lady sculpture. *LOL*

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

On an Auctioneer:

Jedediah Goodwin
Auctioneer
Born 1828

Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!

1876

Clip Source: www.usroots.com

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery:

Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
(ed: guess they did not have personal ads then)

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

Tags: funny, humour, death, epitaphs, revenge, romance, alanocu

Treating wounded soldiers like $#%$%

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:27:35 GMT

clipped by: egoldstein
clipper's remarks: I'm as much to blame as anyone, but i really am disappointed that the American people site by so idly while the Bush administration screws people so badly.

It's great that we "disapprove" of them in polls, but when push comes to shove, we are allowing them to do whatever they want...and the results are truly sickening.

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

In Ziegel's case, he spent nearly two years recovering at Brooke Army Medical Center in Texas. Once he got out of the hospital, he was unable to hold a job. He anticipated receiving a monthly VA disability check sufficient to cover his small-town lifestyle in Washington, Illinois.

Instead, he got a check for far less than expected. After pressing for answers, Ziegel finally received a letter from the VA that rated his injuries: 80 percent for facial disfigurement, 60 percent for left arm amputation, a mere 10 percent for head trauma and nothing for his left lobe brain injury, right eye blindness and jaw fracture.

Within 48 hours of telling his story to CNN this summer, the Office of then-VA Secretary Jim Nicholson acted on Ziegel's case. The VA changed his head trauma injury, once rated at 10 percent, to traumatic brain injury rated at 100 percent, substantially increasing his monthly disability check.

Tags: war, iraq, veterans, news

great photos from the sky

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 03:49:52 GMT

clipped by: boozich
clipper's remarks: "Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art"

Clip Source: files.kavefish.com

Tags: photos, pictures, sky, from

Saudi Arabian rape victim sentenced to 200 lashes

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 12:30:29 GMT

clipped by: michellezm
clipper's remarks: Words fail me!

Clip Source: www.news24.com

Riyadh - A court in the ultra-conservative kingdom of Saudi Arabia is punishing a female victim of gang rape with 200 lashes and six months in jail, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

The 19-year-old woman - whose six armed attackers have been sentenced to jail terms - was initially ordered to undergo 90 lashes for "being in the car of an unrelated male at the time of the rape", the Arab News reported.

But in a new verdict issued after Saudi Arabia's Higher Judicial Council ordered a retrial, the court in the eastern town of Al-Qatif more than doubled the number of lashes to 200.

A court source told the English-language Arab News that the judges had decided to punish the woman further for "her attempt to aggravate and influence the judiciary through the media".

Saudi Arabia enforces a strict Islamic doctrine known as Wahhabism and forbids unrelated men and women from associating with each other, bans women from driving and forces them to cover head-to-toe in public.

Tags: saudi arabia, muslim, islam

After 65 Yrs. P-38 Fighter Emerges From North Wales Beach

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 01:04:28 GMT

clipped by: BartendingBear
clipper's remarks: Just fantastic!

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

For 65 years, this Second World War fighter had lain hidden under the surface of a beach where it crash-landed.

Just a short distance above it, holidaying families have built sandcastles, strolled and swum, all unaware of its existence.

But now the P-38 Lightning has re-emerged after freak weather conditions caused the sands to shift and expose its rusting frame.

The U.S. aircraft - with its distinctive "twinboom" design - was discovered on the North Wales coast, but the location is being kept secret in case it is targeted by looters.

Tags: plane, fighter, p38

The most bizarre musical instrument on earth

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 04:47:35 GMT

clipped by: mickfinn

Clip Source: deputy-dog.com

a few years ago in japan, members of the hokkaido industrial research institute started carving thousands of very precise grooves into nearby roads. the slightly loopy brainwave belonged to a mr. shinoda, a guy who accidentally cut a road in several places with a digger and then later drove over the damage in his car.

he realised that with some planning and time to kill he could create rows of grooves which, when driven over at a certain speed, would ‘play a tune’.

the results, the ‘melody road’, can be seen above and the grooves are between 6 and 12mm apart: the narrower the interval, the higher the pitch. these stretches of road, each playing a different tune, can currently be found in 3 places in japan - hokkaido, wakayama and gunma - with the optimum musical speed being a depressingly slow 28mph.

don’t expect a virtual orchestra - from what i’ve heard, it’s not exactly beautiful music, but it’s unique and it’s mental. a winning combination.

Tags: hokkaido, japan, music

Dildos of Death?

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:38:03 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks:

Fortunately, sex-toy retailers are taking things into their own hands.

That sentence made me laugh out loud.

Clip Source: www.bestlifeonline.com

That love doll may be doing you wrong

In 1998, the Consumer Product Safety Commission banned the use of certain plastics in children’s toys after a study showed that a type of plastic additive, called phthalate, is easily absorbed through soft tissues like the inside of the mouth. But what about adult toys and the soft tissues they’re exposed to?

A study commissioned by Greenpeace tested eight popular sex toys and found that seven of them contained extremely high levels of phthalates—as high as 243,000 parts per million. (Liver problems, anemia, and reduced fertility have been detected in mice exposed to 10,000 parts per million, and phthalates in general have been linked to obesity, cancer, sperm damage, and genital deformities in male babies.) Phthalate-laden sex toys are sold under the seemingly harmless name jelly rubber.

they all have that new-shower-curtain smell, which is a dead giveaway for the presence of phthalates

sex toys aren’t regulated

Tags: sex, toys, plastics, poison, health, danger, phthalates

Geographical Facts of the Sexes

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 17:36:26 GMT

clipped by: dakotayii
clipper's remarks: It's just a joke, but there is a grain of truth imo......

Clip Source: www.dysan.net

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa; half discovered, half wild,

naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America; well developed and open to

trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India; very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France; gently aging but still warm, and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain; with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia; lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia; very wide, and borders are now un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran - ruled by a dick

Tags: jokes

Surfer Dude stuns pysicists with theory of everything

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:17:45 GMT

clipped by: LisbethJ

Clip Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

Surfer dude stuns physicists with theory of everything

An impoverished surfer has drawn up a new theory of the universe, seen by some as the Holy Grail of physics, which has received rave reviews from scientists.

Garrett Lisi, 39, has a doctorate but no university affiliation and spends most of the year surfing in Hawaii, where he has also been a hiking guide and bridge builder (when he slept in a jungle yurt).

Lisi's inspiration lies in the most elegant and intricate shape known to mathematics, called E8 - a complex, eight-dimensional mathematical pattern with 248 points first found in 1887, but only fully understood by mathematicians this year after workings, that, if written out in tiny print, would cover an area the size of Manhattan.

E8 encapsulates the symmetries of a geometric object that is 57-dimensional and is itself is 248-dimensional. Lisi says "I think our universe is this beautiful shape."

Tags: surfer, dude, theory, physics, everything

Ever Wonder Why Your Internet Went Down?

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 09:34:57 GMT

clipped by: syncopath
clipper's remarks: all we have asked 4 is being connected .......

Clip Source: www.notworksafe.com

Ever Wonder Why Your Internet Went Down?

Tags: inter-net, wonders, photo

Philosophers without Gods

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:30:32 GMT

clipped by: Antara
clipper's remarks: From book blurb on site:

Atheists are frequently demonized as arrogant intellectuals, antagonistic to religion, devoid of moral sentiments, advocates of an "anything goes" lifestyle. Now, in this revealing volume, nineteen leading philosophers open a window on the inner life of atheism, shattering these commonstereotypes as they reveal how they came to turn away from religious belief. These highly engaging personal essays capture the marvelous diversity to be found among atheists, providing a portrait that will surprise most readers. Many of the authors, for example, express great affection for particular religious traditions, even as they explain why they cannot, in goodconscience, embrace them. None of the contributors dismiss religious belief as stupid or primitive, and several even express regret that they cannot, or can no longer, believe. Perhaps more important, in these reflective pieces, they offer fresh insight into some of the oldest and most difficultproblems facing the h

Clip Source: books.google.com

Tags: google books, louise antony, atheism, female philosophers

Comments made in the year 1955:

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:07:14 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

Clip Source: dalesdesigns.net

Comments made in the year 1955:

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

Tags: 1955

How Long Can a Person Survive Without Sleep?

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 10:06:00 GMT

clipped by: wildcat

Clip Source: www.livescience.com

In May 2007 a British man named Tony Wright stayed awake for 266 hours, just a little more than 11 days. He kept his eyes open by eating carrot juice, bananas, avocados, pineapple and nuts.

The exhausting feat broke Randy Gardner's 1964 world record of 254 sleep-free hours.

Neither champ made it into the Guinness Book of World Records. The tireless world-record keeper does not award sleep-deprived contest winners because of possible health risks to such endeavors.

Some animals can go months without sleeping. But for most people, just one night of bad sleep sets off mood swings and irritability. Sleeplessness can lead to poor concentration and decision-making. Operating machinery or driving a car on little shut-eye is dangerous. Longer periods of sleeplessness can lead to hallucinations, vision problems, and paranoia.

Tags: sleep, survival, deprivation

No Such Thing As An Accident

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:22:43 GMT

clipped by: debbyski

Clip Source: www.latimes.com

Oh, George. Why do you hate America?

For years, I thought we were just having a misunderstanding. You know: You say tomato, I say tomahto; you say checks, I say balances; you say enhanced interrogation techniques, I say torture.

But with recent events in Pakistan, I'm beginning to wonder if our problem isn't more than just a misunderstanding. Because if you're supposed to be protecting our nation against Islamic extremism, why are your foreign policies actually strengthening dangerous extremists everywhere?

What were you thinking, George? Back on the presidential campaign trail in 2000, you couldn't even come up with Pervez Musharraf's name when some smarty-pants reporter gave you a pop news quiz. Those were the days! Now, the two of you are joined at the hip.

A recent opinion poll found that most Pakistanis are so alienated that they give Osama bin Laden higher approval ratings than they give to Musharraf -- or to you, George.

Tags: the, company, one, keeps, says, alot, about, who, they, are

Warm to icy beer in seconds

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:13:41 GMT

clipped by: michellezm

Clip Source: www.nzherald.co.nz

A young New Zealand inventor has found a solution to the unpalatable problem of a can of warm beer - a device that turns a tepid beverage into a cold drink within seconds.

And the portable gadget, which has a cooling capacity almost four times that of regular ice with the advantage that it doesn't water down your drink, could spell the end of lugging a heavy chilly bin to the beach.

"You have plastic cooling cells which are pressed down into the dock which houses the liquid carbon dioxide. The liquid CO2 expands and is pressurised into dry ice in the base of the cooling cells ... in a moment.

With a surface temperature of minus 78.5C, dry ice has a cooling capacity almost four times that of the same amount of regular ice.

"The cooling power is almost instant and is utilised for several minutes and it doesn't dilute the drink like ice would," said Mr Hodgson.

Mr Hodgson said he was looking at patenting the Huski, which he expects to retail at around $50.

Tags: beer, inventions, coolants, refrigeration, gadgets