Clipmarks | wiccantexan's 'church' clips

25 Things You Should Have Learned by Middle Age

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 00:29:24 GMT

clipped by: coecoe321
clipper's remarks: Love this!

Clip Source: desiredcreations.com

If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Tags: humor, life

Top 10 Worst Company URL's

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 22:39:01 GMT

clipped by: Wolveseatdogs
clipper's remarks: LMAO

Clip Source: www.nextwebgen.com

Top 10 Worst Company URLs

Filed under: Wacky Web — Admin at 3:09 pm on Wednesday, August 2, 2006

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URL
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s
world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name
selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do
this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies
who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give
their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents’ where you can find the name of the agent
that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South
Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their
whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.

Tags: humour, internet, web, url

Top Ten Worst Domain Names

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:48:21 GMT

clipped by: rotofade

Clip Source: easywebbers.com

Top ten worst domain names

Author: Simon

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church . Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe ? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Bookmark this post to:

Tags: domain name, top ten, buzzword, clever, comic, funny, humor, internet, language, pronunciation, satire, web, web 2.0

Atheist quotes

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 11:39:11 GMT

clipped by: Chookiepuss

Clip Source: www.delawareonline.com

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

-Stephen Roberts

I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.

-Doug McLeod

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

-Epicurus

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!

-Ned Flanders

Men never commit evil so fully and joyfuly as when they do it for religious convictions.

-Blaise Pascal

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

-Bertrand Russell

Praying is like a rocking chair-- it'll give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.

-Gypsy Rose Lee

We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.

-Gene Roddenberry

If a church sign says it, then it must be so:

http://shortthorts.blogspot.com/2006/10/fun-with-church-signs.html

Tags: atheist

25 things you should have learned by middle age

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 19:16:59 GMT

clipped by: kwhitford

Clip Source: desiredcreations.com

25 things you should have learned by the time you have reached middle age

If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Tags: info

This is Just Toooo Hillarious

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 22:38:04 GMT

clipped by: vandamonium
clipper's remarks: This is just way too funny.

Clip Source: wuzzadem.typepad.com

Church Sign Smackdown!

Tags: churh sign, smackdown

Words That Changed You - iVillage Top 10

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:28:56 GMT

clipped by: Xeneri
clipper's remarks: "Has anyone ever said something to you — a piece of advice, a word of comfort, a bit of inspiration — that you've just never forgotten?" From inspiring mantras to heartfelt expressions of empathy and encouragement, here are just a few of the amazing nuggets of wisdom iVillagers have taken to heart. They might change you too.

Clip Source: health.ivillage.com

Words That Changed You

"Wise choices often mean rough going." My uncle told me this last year when I was going through a difficult time, and he was absolutely correct: While I knew I'd made the best decision for myself, it didn't mean I had removed all obstacles. His words gave me hope and strength to continue.

I was at work one day feeling depressed, and a legal assistant I work with (she was a Polish refugee) looked at me and said, "The only one who is going to take care of you is you." It was an aha moment. I think I was waiting for someone to step in and help me when really, no one was able to — or going to.

"Let go or be dragged."

Advice from the iVillage boards: "Our feelings may not be entirely in our control, but our responses are our choice. You have to choose to be happy, choose to be the bigger person, choose not to let someone impact your life in a negative way."

"The only way out is through." It's a phrase that stuck in my mind throughout a bad breakup.

After my husband's death, a church acquaintance wrote me a letter to say that her husband died at the same young age and under nearly identical circumstances. She then finished with, "I cannot imagine what you are going through." That filled me with the most incredible relief and warmth. Obviously she'd gone through the same thing, obviously she must have shared some of my own feelings, but she had the grace not to presume what they were.

"Don't let people rent space in your head." It was an important realization for me at a time when I was really obsessing about my ex.

"If a man tells you he doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't know what he's got."

A quote that I have on my office wall and read daily: "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."

My mother's mantra: "If the problem is something you cannot change, then you must change your attitude toward it."

Tags: relationships, quotes, wellbeing, health, wellness, wisdom, inspiration, life, love

Pope Feared Bush Is The Anti-Christ

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 14:02:39 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks:

The Pope, who grew up facing the evils of Hitler and Stalin, knows evil when he sees it.

An old article from 2003, but very thought-provoking! Now, I'm no Catholic, but if Pope John Paul ll (rest in peace) had such concerns about the "goodness" of Mr George W. Bush, then I sit up and listen. Are there any Catholics out there who know what the Church's or the current Pope's stand on this issue is now?

Clip Source: www.counterpunch.org

Bush's "Christian" Blood Cult

Concerns Raised by the Vatican

Bush's blood lust, his repeated commitment to Christian beliefs, and his constant references to "evil doers," in the eyes of many devout Catholic leaders, bear all the hallmarks of the one warned about in the Book of Revelations - the anti-Christ. People close to the Pope claim that amid these concerns, the Pontiff wishes he was younger and in better health to confront the possibility that Bush may represent the person prophesized in Revelations.

John Paul II has always believed the world was on the precipice of the final confrontation between Good and Evil

the Pope and his closest advisers are also concerned that the ultimate acts of evil - the September 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon - were known in advance by senior Bush administration officials.

Bush represents a dangerous right-wing ideologue who couples his political fanaticism with a neo-Christian blood cult

the Pope should know

Tags: pope, john paul ll, catholicism, good, evil, christianity, anti-christ, religion., gwb, bush

Hilarious Church Signs

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 20:13:45 GMT

clipped by: BigBadWolf
clipper's remarks: Some of these are hysterical and show the lighter side of a serious subject.

Clip Source: www.oddee.com

15 Hilarious Church Signs

You've seen them - the signs in front of churches, with a witticism or a pun that made you groan. Here is a list of 15 hilarious Church Signs.

Tags: religion, humor

I wanna join this damn church

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 19:42:19 GMT

clipped by: laceym

Clip Source: www.infidelguy.com

A grumpy old man walks into a local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I wanna join this damn church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, dammit. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There IS no damn problem!," the man says. "Looky here, I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

Tags: humor, humour

Religious Cartoons. Not a bit funny. Ok?

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:11:38 GMT

clipped by: righthand
clipper's remarks: A god send. Well someone spoke in my ear.

Church and state cartoons.

Clip Source: edkrebs.com

"When you give food to the poor, they call you a saint. When you ask why the poor have no food, they call you a communist."
-- Archbishop Helder Camara

A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.

-- Carl Sagan

To use the term blind faith, is to use an adjective needlessly.
-- Julian Ruck

Clip Source: edkrebs.com

"Just before us is a nuclear countdown with Iran, followed by the final battle: the battle of Armageddon . . . . The end of the world as we know it is rapidly approaching. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad. The best is yet to be."
-- Televangelist and McCain endorser John Hagee

Clip Source: edkrebs.com

If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust it to tell us where we’re going?
-- Anonymous

The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages—as if the savages weren’t dangerous enough already.
-- Edward Abbey

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
-- Blaise Pascal

Tags: religion, humour, comic

2+2=4 - What is wrong with you people?

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:28:52 GMT

clipped by: JohnWaterman

Clip Source: aguyinthepew.blogspot.com

Eric Michael Johnson is a primatologist and endocrinologist completing a PhD at Duke University, and he blogs at the Primate Diaries. He has two recent posts that are worth reading. First, some provocative humor:

Fundamentalists: believe 2+2 =5 because It Is Written. Somewhere. They have a lot of trouble on their tax returns.

"Moderate" believers: live their lives on the basis that 2+2=4. but go regularly to church to be told that 2+2 once made 5, or will one day make 5, or in a very real and spiritual sense should make 5.

"Moderate" atheists: know that 2+2 =4 but think it impolite to say so too loudly as people who think 2+2=5 might be offended.

"Militant" atheists: "Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?"

Tags: atheism, religion, humour

100 most influential books ever written...

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 07:28:02 GMT

clipped by: mugofcoffee
clipper's remarks: more than half I had clipped! (limit) For the rest, you may need to visit the site.

Clip Source: thegreatbookslist.com

'100 Most Influential Books Ever Written' by Martin Seymour-Smith

The I Ching

The Old Testament

The Iliad and The Odyssey by Homer

The Upanishads

The Way and Its Power, Lao-tzu

The Avesta

Analects, Confucius

History of the Peloponnesian War, Thucydides

Works, Hippocrates

Works, Aristotle

History, Herodotus

The Republic, Plato

Elements, Euclid

The Dhammapada

Aeneid, Virgil

On the Nature of Reality, Lucretius

Allegorical Expositions of the Holy Laws, Philo of Alexandria

Lives, Plutarch

The New Testament

Annals, from the Death of the Divine Augustus, Cornelius Tacitus

The Gospel of Truth

Meditations, Marcus Aurelius

Outlines of Pyrrhonism, Sextus Empiricus

Enneads, Plotinus

Confessions, Augustine of Hippo

The Koran

Guide for the Perplexed, Moses Maimonides

The Kabbalah

Summa Theologicae, Thomas Aquinas

The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri

In Praise of Folly, Desiderius Erasmus

The Prince, Niccolò Machiavelli

On the Babylonian Captivity of the Church, Martin Luther

Gargantua and Pantagruel, François Rabelais

Institutes of the Christian Religion, John Calvin

On the Revolution of the Celestial Orbs, Nicolaus Copernicus

Essays, Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

Don Quixote, Parts I and II, Miguel de Cervantes

The Harmony of the World, Johannes Kepler

Novum Organum, Francis Bacon

The First Folio [Works], William Shakespeare

Dialogue Concerning Two New Chief World Systems, Galileo Galilei

Discourse on Method, René Descartes

Pensées, Blaise Pascal

Leviathan, Thomas Hobbes

Works, Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

Ethics, Baruch de Spinoza

Pilgrim's Progress, John Bunyan

Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, Isaac Newton

The Principles of Human Knowledge, George Berkeley

Essay Concerning Human Understanding, John Locke

The New Science, Giambattista Vico

A Treatise of Human Nature, David Hume

The Encyclopedia, Denis Diderot, ed.

A Dictionary of the English Language, Samuel Johnson

Candide, François-Marie de Voltaire

Common Sense, Thomas Paine

An Enquiry Into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations, Adam Smith

Tags: books, influential, interesting, weightage of words.

Beautiful pictures from Iceland

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:11:52 GMT

clipped by: Newfman
clipper's remarks: Love the church!

Clip Source: stuckincustoms.com

Tags: photos

I Am My Own God

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:50:17 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: Wow. The beer bit is really profound!

Clip Source: www.quotationspage.com

For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.

Charles Bukowski
US (German-born) author & poet (1920 - 1994)

Tags: cbgc, beer, quote