Clipmarks | vandamonium's 'joke' clips

Joke of the Day

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 20:23:02 GMT

clipped by: vandamonium

I need it to poison my husband

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy!

I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law!

I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now. That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Tags: humor

Joke of the Day

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 18:28:34 GMT

clipped by: vandamonium

Clip Source: www.idkwtf.com

A Natural Blind

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

Tags: humor, joke

Water Prank

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 17:52:14 GMT

clipped by: vandamonium

Clip Source: www.funny-stuff-central.com

Water Prank in a Bed Shop - Hilarious Practical Joke

This is quite a cruel trick, but very funny to watch. As people lay down to test the beds in this department store they get a soaking wet surprise.

[Video]

Tags: prank, joke, video

Joke of the Day

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 17:44:06 GMT

clipped by: vandamonium

Clip Source: jokes.comedycentral.com

Juicy Squirt

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Tags: humor, joke

Advice From Grandpa

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:56:21 GMT

clipped by: vandamonium
clipper's remarks: Way to go Grandpa

Clip Source: www.emailjokes.co.za

Tags: joke, humor

Gotta Keep Track

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:40:51 GMT

clipped by: vandamonium

Clip Source: www.emailjokes.co.za

Letter to a cheater.

"Boy, I'm scared," Anthony said to one of his friends. "I got a letter from
a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife." "Well,"

replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife."

"Easy for you to say."

"You like her that much?" the friend asks.

"It's not that," declared Anthony. "He didn't sign his name!"

(66 words)

Tags: humor, oops, joke