Clipmarks | thisnamecantbetaken's 'humour' clips

Sick Humour Heals

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:02:44 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks:

"It should be called an honest attitude, and that covers all the bases, because some days you feel angry and some days you feel sad," she says.

"When you give it to them on a coffee mug it gives permission to say that and feel that."

"I am stronger than a jelly doughnut."
"I am stronger than f***ing Tourette's."
"Diabetes makes me twice as sweet."
"It's not just my head that's bald, you know..."

Clip Source: www.planetcancer.org

When choosing a get-well gift for those dealing with a critical illness, most people still opt to play it safe: a card, pretty flowers or a thoughtful home-cooked meal are still the overwhelming favourites. These gifts tend to be designed to distract and soothe the recipient from the discomforts and worries of illness.

But there is a whole new trend in get-well gifts, still small but gaining momentum over the Internet. These gifts accomplish the opposite: they take aim at the illnesses by making light of them or mocking them. The products' creators tend to have their own deeply personal stories and motivations, and have grown to see the value of laughter and defiance in the face of illness.

something inspirational or motivational, something, she says, "to give me a boost.

"It's so emotional dealing with these diseases that you need something that's going to motivate you every day, to help you step back, have a little laugh, and think, okay, I can deal with this,"

Cute With Chris

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:23:53 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: WARNING: Contains Cat Nudity.

I forgot to clip this one.
Lotion Makes You Slippery

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

*America's Next Top Kitten*

Does this kitten have what it takes to be America's Next Top Model?

[Video]

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

Canada vs. America

Who has cuter kittens? Canada or America.

[Video]

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

"Sexy Cats"

WARNING: Contains Cat Nudity---

*Cute with Chris*. Visit http://cutewithchris.com

[Video]

Tags: cute, down, odd, humour

In Greed We Trust

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 09:18:44 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: Check out the video at the source. Funny... but not .

Clip Source: www.brasschecktv.com

Laughter is the best medicine
and ridicule is a potent weapon

Celebrating the Age of Bush

Tags: humour, satire, usa, neoconservatism

Dumb Signs

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 06:58:29 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: At a gym: "Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!"

(There's a lot more at the source.)

Clip Source: www.dumb.com

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.

At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?

At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.

At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.

Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.

In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

Tags: dumb, signs, humour, funny

An Interview With Jesus Christ

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 07:09:37 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: The message is, there's lots of good news out there as well and we can all help create it, if we want to..

Clip poll:
Have you ever been in the news or been on TV for something good? (or if for bad, pray tell! *LOL*) I've been on the six o'clock news once (an animal welfare related issue), for a whole 18 seconds and I know we have a delightful boob beer can crushing clipper among our CM rank and file too. EG's interviews count too, I reckon. Has anyone else ever been "famous" and had their five minutes of fame? (or 18 seconds?)

*LOL* Clip song.

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

Tags: god, created, humour

The Finger Belongs To Everyone

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:06:57 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: Some days are just better than others. *LOL*

Clip Source: www.ooze.com

White people do it. Black people do it. Asians do it. Italians do it frequently. Senior citizens won't admit they do it, but they do. For over two thousand years the Middle Finger has fought a pitched battle against those who would demand you conform

The Middle Finger is the strength of any hand. The true worker of any hand. It is the one which constantly opens and closes for the synchronous benefit of its brother Fingers.

Do you really think we could get by with just thumbs? Do you actually believe you're above your own Fingers? Clearly the Middle Finger is the superior Finger, because it's longer, it's stronger, and it deserves distinction.

Want to sublimate the masses? Become a man of letters, politics, and power. Want to incite a riot? Give a crowd the Finger.

Let your Finger do the talking.

Want to climb the ladder of freedom?

In-your-face. Impudent. Inappropriate in mixed company. Only for those who lack the ability to express themselves in a clear verbal manner. Terrifyingly 3-D.

Tags: pms, roadrage, bird, gesture, body language, stress relief, humour

They Are Everywhere.

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 21:28:37 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: Way too short.

Clip Source: www.dailymotion.com

They Are Everywhere

[Video]

Tags: humour, bush, immigration

Hands Off, Cowboy

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:20:10 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken

Clip Source: picsyard.com

Best two photographs ever taken A. The first photo was taken when the Chinese president went to US

B.The second photo was taken when Bush went to China

Tags: photos, photography, bush, usa, china, funny, humour

Court of King Caractacus

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 14:00:26 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: Another nostalgia clip. I know the song, but I'm going to have to learn those moves for next weekend. If I can do it, it will guaranteed earn me a couple of beers or three. Try doing it yourself without smiling. *LOL* Fun, fun!
(Okay, admitted. Simple mind, simple pleasures... .)

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

Tags: music, childhood, memories, rolf harris, beer, beer game, silliness, fun, humour

When English and Spanish Collide

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:14:53 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: Scoop. *LOL* I love it when people talk funny. It's so endearing. I don't speak Spanish myself, though I would love to. All I can say is the Spanish word for beer, which is cerveza. That's all you really need to know.

Clip Source: www.associatedcontent.com

I was married to a Dominican woman, so it's OK for her. Yahaira is like Blackspanicasian. She speaks both Spanish and English ... at the same fricken time.

"Hey, Jude, don't be a -- "

"Yo quiero sentir sus labios -- "

"And any time you feel the -- "

"Numero uno en exitos, cien y siete PUNTO UNOOOO!"

People ask why I never learned Spanish

"Do you want some ... como se dice ... patita de pollo ... you know, patita."

"Um. Sure. Gimme two. And a Pepsi."

That night I ate chicken's feet.

she gets "down from," not out of, the car; she dreams with, not of, other people; and while most couples spooned in bed, we would only scoop.

I'm wearing underwears, the lottery is at 32 millions ... white people eat a lot of spaghettis.

"We'll touch bases later."

"The toilet is overfloating. You said we'd nip this problem in the butt. Do I need to get the Jellow Pages?"

Clip Source: www.associatedcontent.com

she ordered smashed potatoes

and I a Caesar salad with extra crunchies.

"Do you mean croutons?"

"I could mean just about anything."

"I'm from Spangland."

Tags: funny, cute, humour, language, beer

Funny Epitaphs

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:23:27 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: I clipped this for you alanocu to go with your *romantic* cemetary lady sculpture. *LOL*

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

On an Auctioneer:

Jedediah Goodwin
Auctioneer
Born 1828

Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!

1876

Clip Source: www.usroots.com

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery:

Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
(ed: guess they did not have personal ads then)

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

Tags: funny, humour, death, epitaphs, revenge, romance, alanocu

The After-School Electromagnetic Wave Club

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 05:08:07 GMT

clipped by: skwirlinator
clipper's remarks: I am forever in your debt TNCBT!

Clip Source: tvinjapan.blogspot.com

The After-School Electromagnetic Wave Club

Reader comment: aragoto says,

The two comedians (they're Japanese, naturally) are Koji Higashino (in the blue) and Koji Imada (in the red). The sketch Doug links to is literally titled "The After-School Electromagnetic Wave Club", and involves them (this may be obvious, but the mini-tards are distracting) using their magnets to pull a groper away from his victim. I sense the humour is mainly to be had from the costumes.

These are two wild and crazy guys. With giant magnets. And barely contained scrotums. On TV. In Japan.

Clip Source: tvinjapan.blogspot.com

Great!It is a very nostalgic image.
I like them.
They colled Double-Koji.
So,Blue is Koji Higashino,Red is Koji
Imada.They are famouse Comedian in Japan.

# posted by guzza : 3:18 AM

Tags: this name cant be taken, comedy, what the hell is this shit

Put Ur Monee In Da Bowl 4 Jeeesus!

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 12:56:59 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: I am just SO addicted to lolcats.

Clip Source: icanhascheezburger.com

Put ur monee in the bowl 4 Jeeesus!

Tags: lolcats, cats, cute, religion, funny, humour

I Don't Want It

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 12:08:15 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: How come MY cats won't talk?? Lazy buggers.

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

Talking Cat 2 - Say No to Vet

[Video]

Tags: cat, cats, humour, funny, talking cats, cute, aww, vet

Ode to the Monotony of Life

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 09:12:06 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: Yaaawn... why stop at three minutes shy?

Some critics claim that Monotony is only one note written very fancily with one brief break a thousand measures in. Others say that its beauty is in its simplicity. Still others don't want to get involved in the whole mess, and have taken a vacation until the bickering dies down.

Clip Source: uncyclopedia.org

Ode to the Monotony of Life

John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life is considered to be the world's longest song at exactly three minutes shy of a full year. The majority of the song is composed of alterations between A sharp and B flat tied together, resulting in what sounds to the untrained ear as one continuous, monotonous tone. Originally composed for the piano, Algethorpe's Monotony has been adapted for over a dozen different instruments, although it is only known to have been played in its entirety once.

Aglethorpe, according to legend, came up with the idea of Monotony when working at the office one day.

he pondered what the computer was humming about.

He jotted down notes and notes and also notes about notes as he stuck his ear flat against the monitor.

he discovered two things. One, the computer seemed to have a liking for the A sharp - B flat range. And two, this task was becoming very boring.

Tags: humour, joke, uncyclopedia, hoax, music, monotony, life