Clipmarks | thefoxalmighty's 'humour' clips

SHIT FACT

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 08:33:43 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: ""We always thought it was a golf term."" lol..

Clip Source: www.wildcrazy.com

Ever wonder where the word SHIT comes from?

Well, here it is:

Certain types of manure used to be transported (as everything was years ago) by ship.

In dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only

became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is

methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could

(and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone

came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this

manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure

were always stamped with the term "S.H.I.T" on them which meant to the sailors to

"Ship High In Transit."

In other words, high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the

hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Bet you didn't know the history of that word.

Neither did we.

Tags: facts, humour

Managers .. They are all the same

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 10:59:20 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: ha ha

Clip Source: infosalad.blogspot.com

Tags: cartoon, humour, office, management

Imagine working for this organization

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 06:26:35 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty

Clip Source: www.thefleecingofamerica.com

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

- 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
- 7 have been arrested for fraud
- 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
- 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
- 3 have done time for assault
- 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
- 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
- 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
- 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

- 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Tags: organization, humour

10 New words for English

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 07:27:12 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty

Clip Source: infosalad.blogspot.com

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj.

Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v.

To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n.

The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n.

The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Tags: language, humour

Punctuation is Powerful!

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 07:12:45 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: ha ha... its all about prespectives

Clip Source: esplanade.sg

Tags: language, humour

Knock-out name for Baby Girl : 25 Middle names! Can u believe.

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:51:42 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: this is madness..

Clip Source: news.yahoo.com

Sat Jun 23, 9:50 AM ET

LONDON (AFP) - Baby Autumn Brown has a name to live up - in fact she has over 25 of them.

The little girl's mother Maria, in keeping with her boxing-mad family's bizarre tradition, decided to give her 25 middle names - all culled from the greatest exponents inside the ring.

Her full name, which left register office staff in Perton, Wolverhampton reeling is: Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.

Maria told the city's Express and Star: "The whole thing came about because both my mum and dad are obsessed with boxing and have a bit of a daft sense of humour.

"When I was young I couldn't ever remember my name. It took me to the age of 10 to memorise it all."

The 33-year-old mother added: "I'm hoping Autumn has a good sense of humour with her name. It's never done me any harm though."

Tags: news, weird

BIGGEST MOVIE BLUNDERS

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:01:58 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: big ones indeed

Clip Source: www.bsnews.org

In the "Battle of Carthage" in the Colosseum, one of the chariots is turned over. Once the dust settles you can see a gas cylinder in the back of the chariot.

During the scene when Dorothy and Scarecrow are fighting with the trees, Scarecrow says "I'll show you how to get apples" and he gets hit by the apples. The very next scene if you quickly look at Dorothy's shoes, you can see that she is wearing black shoes, not her ruby slippers.

When the stormtroopers break into the control room, the stormtrooper on the right of the screen hits his head on the door frame. On the DVD release they've added a thump when he hits it. THUD! While unintentional, it's still one of the best moments in all the Star Wars films.

In the scenes where there's a video link to the docks shown on computer, there's a bar moving along the bottom of the screen, showing us that it's actually a video that's just playing on the computer.

Tags: movies, humour

American Movie Posters in Belarus : Very Funny

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 05:31:22 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: Ha ha ..

Clip Source: englishrussia.com

50 First Dates

This one is for “Spy Kids 3-D”

“Freaky Friday” and these are faces of Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan.

I hope here you can guess it. For sure that was a poster for “Scooby Doo”

This one is “Just Married” with Ashton Kutcher as some of you may have already guessed.

And who the heck is that??? No guesses? Ok, I’ll tell you - that’s “Bridget Jones’s Diary” and the lady is Renée Zellweger.

Meet Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant in “Two Weeks Notice”.

The last but not the least. “Shallow Hal” with Gwyneth Paltrow. No comments on this one.

Tags: cinema, posters, humour

>>100% How to get there? : A Mathematical Analysis.

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 10:48:26 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: That explains a lot

Clip Source: gaetan.chapoteau.com

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Tags: humour, mathematics

Funny Exam answers by students

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 10:25:21 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: ha ha... This makes me laugh whenever i see this..
Especially the 1st one and the Hangman thing... Really cute..

Clip Source: www.jimmyr.com

Tags: humour, students