Clipmarks | swampfoxz's 'redneck' clips

Redneck Army

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:59:58 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz

Clip Source: phunkyou.com

Tags: redneck, army

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…..

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:01:00 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz

Clip Source: phunkyou.com

Preparation of the “Jedi-Burger”

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…..

* You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with ya’ll.”

* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer

Tags: redneck jedi

Redneck Apartment Complex

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 16:52:15 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz

Clip Source: phunkyou.com

Redneck Apartment Complex

Rednecks Rule Because…
1. Dinner can always be found on the side of the road.

2. Their belt buckles are considered valid I.D.!
3. With a little corn and water they can distill enough moonshine to quench any dry town!
4. They can spit with absolute accuracy.
5. Nothing compares to the luxury and freedom of a mobile home.
6. Bluejeans and a flannel are always considered formal.
7. At least that rusty Pick-up’s bought and paid for.
8. A mayonnaise jar doubles as a handy thermos.
9. A baseball cap is considered a fine substitute for combing your hair.

10. Tractor pulls and auto races serve as a fine meeting place for family reunions

Tags: redneck apartment complex

40 Things Never Said By Southerners

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 11:05:47 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: 38. Duct tape won’t fix that.

Clip Source: phunkyou.com

40 Things Never Said By Southerners

40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen.
39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

38. Duct tape won’t fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.
35. We don’t keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can’t feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.
30. Wrasslin’s fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We’re vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don’t need another dog.
24. Who’s Richard Petty?

Tags: redneck

Ultimate Redneck Photo Collection

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 18:24:33 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: Internet's largest collection of redneck photos all on this one page

Clip Source: www.1funny.com

Ultimate Redneck Photo Collection

This page will take awhile to load if you have a slow connection.

As far as we know, this is the Internet's largest collection of redneck photos all on this one page. Enjoy!

Redneck Grill

Redneck Dog

Redneck Pet Carrier

Redneck Motor Home

Redneck Motor Home 2

Redneck Lawn Mower

Redneck School Bus Stop Sign

Redneck Auto Repair

Redneck Doorbell

Redneck Dog House

Rednedk Flatscreen TV

Redneck Girlfriend

Redneck Baby Restraint

Redneck Hotdog Skewer

Redneck Limo

Redneck Limo 2

Redneck PDA

Redneck Olympics

Redneck Bass Boat

Redneck Gas Tank

Redneck Wedding Cake

Redneck Wedding

Redneck Baby

Redneck Birthday Cake

Redneck Family

Redneck Cup Holder

Redneck Snow Plow

Redneck Car Lock

Redneck Car Window Repair

Redneck School Bus

Redneck Horse Trailer

Redneck Bike

Redneck Gingerbread House

Redneck Home School

Redneck SUV

Redneck Measuring Tape

Redneck Beer Belt

Redneck Car Alarm

Redneck Dentures

Submitted By: eggeyes

Tags: redneck

Redneck Medical Terms

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 13:00:44 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz

Clip Source: therednecklounge.com

Redneck Medical Terms

Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight.
Artery......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............... A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
D&C............................ Where Washington is.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema.......................... Not a friend.
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else.

Fibula......................... A small lie.
Genital........................ Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series.................... World Series of military baseball.

Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane.

Tags: redneck medical terms

Ghosts?

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 16:10:16 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz

Clip Source: phunkyou.com

Ghosts?

Ghosts?
PG-Rated

A professor at the University of West Virginia was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks “How many people here believe in ghosts?”

About 90 students raise their hands.

“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve seen a ghost?”

About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

15 students raise their hands.

“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

3 students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further… Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”

Billy Ray, way in the back raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and

Tags: ghosts

You Might Be A Redneck If...

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 13:30:42 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: You paint your car with house paint.

Your dog goes "oink!"

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.

You know how to milk a goat.

You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.

Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.

Your dog passes gas and you claim it.

Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.

You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside.

You think toilet water is exactly that.

Your chili's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.

Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.

You wore curlers to your wedding so you would look nice at the reception.

You have a refrigerator just for beer.

Your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

The trunk of your car is tied

Clip Source: www.poddys.com

You Might Be A Redneck If...

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.

The most common phrase heard in your house is, "Somebody go jiggle the handle."

You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

You pick your teeth from a catalog.

You can't take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You've ever stolen toilet paper.

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

You've ever plucked a nose hair with a pair of pliers.

There's an expired license plate hanging on your living room wall.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.

You think the Bud Bowl is real.

You consider dating second cousins as "playing the field".

You think "six to ten pounds" on the side of the Pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.

Tags: redneck

Redneck Time Out

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 17:48:32 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: Or Redneck Daycare.

Clip Source: www.davesdaily.com

Tags: redneck, time out

Redneck HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:00:18 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: This works.I use it myself.

Clip Source: www.keithwhite.us

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,

I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the
pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up
real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell
from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.

Cooter

Tags: redneck, adt

You might be a Redneck if…..

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 21:18:15 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: This seems perfectly normal to you.

Clip Source: phunkyou.com

You might be a Redneck if…..

This seems perfectly normal to you.

Tags: redneck