Clipmarks | rko2007's 'jokes' clips

Cat Resolutions

Thu, 31 May 2007 17:34:33 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: A cat with funny principles

Cat Resolutions

I will not run through the house with a condom wrapper in my mouth, especially when my human's grandmother is over.

My human will never let me eat her pet rat, and I am at peace with that.

I will not leap into my human's chair which she has temporarily vacated, and then bite my human on the bum when she sits back down.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.

I will not sniff at my male human's feet after he takes his shoes off, freeze my mouth open in disgust and then sniff my private parts to compare odors. My female human might find it amusing, but my male human does not appreciate it, especially in front of company.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain.

I will not bite my human on the rear while she is sitting on the Big White Drinking Bowl.

Tags: jokes, cat, resolutions

Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

Sat, 26 May 2007 16:19:13 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: A few jokes for a laugh

Clip Source: www.strangeplaces.net

Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Tags: jokes, funny, travel

Jokes: 1973 vs. 2007

Sun, 06 May 2007 17:38:12 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: Ways of thinking has been changed.

Clip Source: www.insane.com

Jokes: 1973 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack of his truck.

1973: Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack’s rifle, goes to his truck and gets his to show Jack.

2007: School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1973: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2007: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.

1973: Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2007: Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Tags: jokes, past, present, comparison, values

Funny Stuff is all around

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 01:47:38 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: This is the blog I use to share my funny collections.

Clip Source: www.funnyxd.com

Funny Stuff is all around

Clip Source: funnyxd.com

Weird Al Yankovich - White & Nerdy

The great musicians of our times never die.
Weird Al…sheer genius parody, almost always better than the original.
Hey, Do you know what’s the original song?

Tags: funny, clips, video, jokes, games, tips, websites

More nice comics

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 07:04:08 GMT

clipped by: rko2007

Clip Source: www.dirtflake.com

Tags: comics, funny, jokes

The End of the Internet

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 17:35:07 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: Good advice for everyone, the original site is much more beautiful than my clip.

Clip Source: n.ethz.ch

Congratulations!!!

You have just reached the End of the Internet.

Finally you can go out playing again!

Have a good time and thank you for using the Internet.

Tags: internet, jokes, humour, health, advice

25 Best Country Songs Titles Of All Time

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 14:55:25 GMT

clipped by: rko2007

Clip Source: humour.200ok.com.au

25 Best Country Songs Titles Of All Time

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye!

I Don't Know whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life,Then Number Two On You

I Sold A Car To A Guy Who Stole My Girl, But It Don't Run - So we're even

Mamma Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

Tags: country, songs, title, jokes, funny

Thousands of Ways To Annoy People

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 00:30:47 GMT

clipped by: rko2007

Clip Source: www.getannoyed.com

GetAnnoyed.com
Thousands of Ways To Annoy People

Thousands of Ways To Annoy People

How To Annoy People In An Elevator

General Ways to Annoy People

Ways To Annoy People In The Computer Lab

Ways to Annoy People At An Amusement Park

Ways To Annoy People On The Subway

Tags: jokes, annoy, people, how

Windows Vista Upgrade Decision Flowchart

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 00:13:14 GMT

clipped by: rko2007

Clip Source: 2007jokes.blogspot.com

Windows Vista Upgrade Decision Flowchart

Tags: windows, vista, upgrade, flowchart, jokes

Out-Of-Office E-Mail Auto-Reply

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 06:40:34 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: Visit the website for the complete clip.

Clip Source: 2007jokes.blogspot.com

Out-Of-Office E-Mail Auto-Reply

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

Tags: jokes, office, email, reply, funny

GMail Paper

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 06:37:07 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: It's an April Fool's prank, isn't it?

Clip Source: 2007rumors.blogspot.com

GMail Paper

今天看到這個Google的新服務，你會相信嗎？

I think this is another April Fool prank.

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/paper/more.html

可信程度：0%

Tags: gmail, aprilfool, jokes, service, google