Take a week off from punishing your kids?

Tue, 08 May 2007 04:24:58 GMT

clipped by: phatmommy
clipper's remarks: I always enjoy reading Stu's insightful parenting suggestions.

If they do something you don’t approve of, it’s ok to talk to them, but don’t punish them. Yes, it might prove difficult. Yes, they may test you (when don’t they test you?). Yes, they may do something really horrendous. But if they do, walk them through the process of understanding what happened. Explain to them your perception of what happened. Don’t tout it as fact, just your perception. Then explain how it feels to you, and explain what you would like to see in the future. Maybe you’ll need to explain to them the consequences of their behavior (hurt feelings, broken cat, police got involved, whatever). But then, at least for a week, give them the opportunity to fix their behavior without a punishment.

Tags: children, discipline, parenting, punishment

When Parenting, Act - Don't React

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 11:05:29 GMT

clipped by: phatmommy
clipper's remarks: Lots of good tips in this article for handling - better yet, avoiding! - a "Mommy Meltdown."

Clip Source: family.go.com

"Yelling is usually a sign that a parent has no strategy," says Thomas Phelan, a clinical psychologist in Glen Ellyn, Illinois

Samalin and Phelan recommend drawing on these following strategies when your kids are driving you up the wall:

Clip Source: family.go.com

"I," not "you." Avoid attacking your child with "you" statements"You are such a slob!" or "You'll never learn." Instead, think in terms of "I": "I don't like picking clothes up off your floor every day" or "I get upset when we're not on time." These are less hurtful and inflammatory.

Recognize what the problem is. Is it really your child's messy room? Or are you sleep-deprived? Feeling overwhelmed at work? Mad at your husband or mother or boss? Be aware of when you are more vulnerable to anger and resist the urge to transfer negative feelings to your child.

Tags: parenting, temper, discipline

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Take a week off from punishing your kids?

When Parenting, Act - Don't React