Clipmarks | n2sooners's 'humor' clips

According to the latest U.S. Census data, in little more than a generation minorities will become the majority, thus enabling White Americans to ‘get on the receiving end’ of government cash, jobs and other benefits which they can’t get now because of their unfortunate racial status.

Good jobs without full qualification, contractor set-asides on government projects, easier access to college, and more personal attention from Democrat candidates are among the special favors that Whites can expect to receive starting in the year 2042, experts said.

However, being in the minority may also have its pitfalls.

The National Association for the Advancement of Pale People (known as the N-Double-A P.P.) has already filed incorporation papers

visionary lawmakers have begun to draft an agenda for the Congressional White Caucus

an ACLU source acknowledged that “re-tooling for the new era of fighting discrimination against Whites may have to await the retirement of everyone currently on staff.”

Tags: politics, race, satire, humor

Zawahiri Dead, Global Warming Suspected

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:29:48 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.scrappleface.com

BREAKING: Zawahiri Dead, Global Warming Suspected

(2008-08-02) — CBS News foreign affairs correspondent Lara Logan, in an exclusive, Friday reported that al Qaeda second-in-command Ayman al-Zawahiri may be dead, and a local Taliban leader blames global warming.

According to a letter from the Taliban official, “Dr. Zawahiri was enjoying a meal when the earth suddenly heated up by several thousand degrees,” said Ms. Logan. “The way it happened makes Al Gore look like a prophet.”

Mr. Zawahiri’s alleged death coincidentally follows a U.S. air strike July 29 during which weapons expert Abu Khabab al-Masri, who went by the nom-de-guerre ‘Shish’, also succumbed to the ravages of climate change.

Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden, allegedly dead himself, could have a tough time finding a replacement for the telegenic, charismatic Mr. Zawahiri, because previous global warming outbreaks that have claimed the lives of many of his mid-level managers.

Tags: global warming, al qaeda, politics, humor, satire

Obama has been to 57 states....

Fri, 09 May 2008 23:35:40 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: hotair.com

[Video]

Ambinder asks the question you’re already asking yourself. Verdict: Dude’s lost his bearings.

Tags: obama, states, humor

Showing support for McCain's energy plan

Tue, 13 May 2008 19:16:23 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.scrappleface.com

(2008-05-13) — A day after Republican presidential candidate John McCain unveiled his cap-and-trade plan to defeat the imminent threat of global warming, a coalition of conservative voters announced it would enthusiastically support his proposal by refusing to burn fossil fuels on November 4, 2008.

“We’re eager to live out Sen. McCain’s conservative vision for the earth,” said the group’s unnamed spokesman, “by keeping millions of Republican-owned SUVs and pickup trucks in their garages on election day.”

The coalition said the symbolic move would not only “cut carbon emissions by thousands of tons,” but it would also “put a president in the White House with John McCain’s views on the global warming issue.”

Tags: mccain, election, energy, global warming, humor

Photoshop Disasters

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 04:41:19 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Aren't newspapers supposed to not do things like this? (I mean real newspapers, not National Inquirer or the British tabloids.) Isn't there some sort of oath of journalistical ethics that they have to swear or something?

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Obviously she's been at the shadow pies.

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Woooo! Cross my palm with silver and gaze into my crystal ball! Mmmmmm!... I can see the past! Ohhhhh! I see a photograph... being taken in front of a white backdrop.... in a studio... I see someone Photoshopping blue sky and little clouds behind me!.... Woooo!

Tags: photoshop, photography, humor

Black hole now a racist term?

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:39:58 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: cityhallblog.dallasnews.com

A special meeting about Dallas County traffic tickets turned tense and bizarre this afternoon.

County commissioners were discussing problems with the central collections office that is used to process traffic ticket payments and handle other paperwork normally done by the JP Courts.

Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.

Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a "white hole."

That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy.

Mayfield shot back that it was a figure of speech and a science term. A black hole, according to Webster's, is perhaps "the invisible remains of a collapsed star, with an intense gravitational field from which neither light nor matter can escape."

Tags: racism, politics, science, humor, ignorance

Iran's latest missile test

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:01:38 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: farm4.static.flickr.com

Tags: iran, missile, humor, photoshop

More Photoshop Disasters (I love that site)

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 03:25:29 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Sears: Let's Have A Big Hand For The Model

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Guitar World: If You Close Your Eyes It's Believable

The hilarious thing here would be if Eddie Van Halen really looked like this. He'd be walking on the beach and people would be taking pictures of him to send to this blog.

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Weekend: If You Undo Your Belly Button Your Ass Falls Off

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Azoogle: This Was Really Well Thought Out In Every Way

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Elle: Mary Kate Bobblehead

Bobblehead bobblehead bobblehead bobblehead.

Bobblehead - bobblehead (bobblehead: bobblehead!) Bobblehead bobblehead. Weird wrist. Bobblehead.

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

How to speak Democrat

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:08:14 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: minx.cc

[Video]

US Representative Thaddeus McCotter (R) Michigan gives a short lesson on how to speak Democrat. Nice!

Tags: democrat, republican, house, politics, humor

Housing Crisis

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:53:17 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.scrappleface.com

The U.S. housing crisis reached fever pitch this month

The devastation of receiving foreclosure notices has now swept through a full 2/10ths of one percent of American homes. About 1/10th of one percent of owners may lose their homes. For some of those people, it’s actually their primary residence in jeopardy, rather than a second home, rental property or vacation condo.

To add insult to misery, mortgage rates skyrocketed this month to 6.32 percent

As a result of the flood of homes on the market, real estate agent commissions have dipped precariously, and home buyers increasingly wrestle with the guilt of paying bargain prices for excellent properties.

Market analysts say home prices could plummet as much as another 10 percent by the end of 2009, leaving first-time home buyers to face the specter of owning a more spacious residence. The additional square footage inequitably boosts the burden of cleaning, heating and air conditioning.

Tags: housing, economy, politics, humor

The Disassociator

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:10:16 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: littlegreenfootballs.com

Tags: obama, politics, humor

Typical Obama Fan

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 06:28:02 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.daybydaycartoon.com

06/02/2008

Tags: obama, politics, msm, media, bias, humor

10 grills for the ultimate BBQ plus accessories

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:53:01 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: gizmodo.com

BBQ Tower Smoker

$500

The Ultimate Tailgating Trailer

standard model includes a 26-inch LCD, satellite dish, CD/DVD player, 1000 Watt generator, and a toilet—but you will need to upgrade to get your fresh water system with sink, refrigerator and, of course, the BBQ itself.

$14,000 or more

Solar Powered Grill

$249. (Or you could build one yourself, like this guy.)

Koolatron Portable "Drive N' Grill"

plugs right into your cigarette lighter

it is actually called the "Drive N' Grill," so my guess is that safety isn't a top priority. Available for $36

Longhorn Steel Grill

$1699

Smoker and Grill Trailer

108"-long

$8545.04

Beer Barrel BBQ

$140

Ariete SteakHouse Indoor Grill

we know a steak toaster when we see one

$220

Cook N' Dine Tabletop Grill

$1600

The Ultimate Smoker and Grill

features a 48" flat screen television with satellite and a Bose sound system

Rental packages start at $5,000

Bonus Accessories:

BBQ Sword

Condiment Pistol

Roast My Weenie

Tags: bbq, food, holidays, cooking, outdoor, humor