Clipmarks | n2sooners's 'humor' clips

Zawahiri Dead, Global Warming Suspected

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:29:48 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

BREAKING: Zawahiri Dead, Global Warming Suspected

(2008-08-02) — CBS News foreign affairs correspondent Lara Logan, in an exclusive, Friday reported that al Qaeda second-in-command Ayman al-Zawahiri may be dead, and a local Taliban leader blames global warming.

According to a letter from the Taliban official, “Dr. Zawahiri was enjoying a meal when the earth suddenly heated up by several thousand degrees,” said Ms. Logan. “The way it happened makes Al Gore look like a prophet.”

Mr. Zawahiri’s alleged death coincidentally follows a U.S. air strike July 29 during which weapons expert Abu Khabab al-Masri, who went by the nom-de-guerre ‘Shish’, also succumbed to the ravages of climate change.

Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden, allegedly dead himself, could have a tough time finding a replacement for the telegenic, charismatic Mr. Zawahiri, because previous global warming outbreaks that have claimed the lives of many of his mid-level managers.

Tags: global warming, al qaeda, politics, humor, satire

Black hole now a racist term?

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:39:58 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: cityhallblog.dallasnews.com

A special meeting about Dallas County traffic tickets turned tense and bizarre this afternoon.

County commissioners were discussing problems with the central collections office that is used to process traffic ticket payments and handle other paperwork normally done by the JP Courts.

Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.

Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a "white hole."

That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy.

Mayfield shot back that it was a figure of speech and a science term. A black hole, according to Webster's, is perhaps "the invisible remains of a collapsed star, with an intense gravitational field from which neither light nor matter can escape."

Tags: racism, politics, science, humor, ignorance

How to speak Democrat

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:08:14 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: minx.cc

[Video]

US Representative Thaddeus McCotter (R) Michigan gives a short lesson on how to speak Democrat. Nice!

Tags: democrat, republican, house, politics, humor

Iran's latest missile test

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:01:38 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: farm4.static.flickr.com

Tags: iran, missile, humor, photoshop

101 Photoshop Tips in Five Minutes

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:20:33 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners
clipper's remarks: Couldn't clip the video. Worth going to the site to watch though.

Clip Source: digitalmedia.oreilly.com

If you've ever read a computer magazine, you know the idea behind "101 Tips." One gala issue, lots of first-rate contributors, lots of quality information. And lots and lots of pages. But when's the last time one lone guy tried to capture 101 tips in video? In just 5 minutes of video? Set to music? This is the realm of dekePod, the once-every-other-weekly series from Deke McClelland. It's bold, it's brash, it's ridiculous. It's a podcast with serious issues. Enjoy.

Right-click or Ctrl-click to download this dekePod (.mov file 52.3Mb). You can also subscribe to dekePod via RSS or iTunes to get the videos automatically. Or, you may download the podcast version.

Tags: photoshop, tips, humor

More Photoshop Disasters (I love that site)

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 03:25:29 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Sears: Let's Have A Big Hand For The Model

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Guitar World: If You Close Your Eyes It's Believable

The hilarious thing here would be if Eddie Van Halen really looked like this. He'd be walking on the beach and people would be taking pictures of him to send to this blog.

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Weekend: If You Undo Your Belly Button Your Ass Falls Off

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Azoogle: This Was Really Well Thought Out In Every Way

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Elle: Mary Kate Bobblehead

Bobblehead bobblehead bobblehead bobblehead.

Bobblehead - bobblehead (bobblehead: bobblehead!) Bobblehead bobblehead. Weird wrist. Bobblehead.

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Photoshop Disasters

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 04:41:19 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Aren't newspapers supposed to not do things like this? (I mean real newspapers, not National Inquirer or the British tabloids.) Isn't there some sort of oath of journalistical ethics that they have to swear or something?

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Obviously she's been at the shadow pies.

Clip Source: photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com

Woooo! Cross my palm with silver and gaze into my crystal ball! Mmmmmm!... I can see the past! Ohhhhh! I see a photograph... being taken in front of a white backdrop.... in a studio... I see someone Photoshopping blue sky and little clouds behind me!.... Woooo!

Tags: photoshop, photography, humor

Typical Obama Fan

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 06:28:02 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.daybydaycartoon.com

06/02/2008

Tags: obama, politics, msm, media, bias, humor

10 grills for the ultimate BBQ plus accessories

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:53:01 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: gizmodo.com

BBQ Tower Smoker

$500

The Ultimate Tailgating Trailer

standard model includes a 26-inch LCD, satellite dish, CD/DVD player, 1000 Watt generator, and a toilet—but you will need to upgrade to get your fresh water system with sink, refrigerator and, of course, the BBQ itself.

$14,000 or more

Solar Powered Grill

$249. (Or you could build one yourself, like this guy.)

Koolatron Portable "Drive N' Grill"

plugs right into your cigarette lighter

it is actually called the "Drive N' Grill," so my guess is that safety isn't a top priority. Available for $36

Longhorn Steel Grill

$1699

Smoker and Grill Trailer

108"-long

$8545.04

Beer Barrel BBQ

$140

Ariete SteakHouse Indoor Grill

we know a steak toaster when we see one

$220

Cook N' Dine Tabletop Grill

$1600

The Ultimate Smoker and Grill

features a 48" flat screen television with satellite and a Bose sound system

Rental packages start at $5,000

Bonus Accessories:

BBQ Sword

Condiment Pistol

Roast My Weenie

Tags: bbq, food, holidays, cooking, outdoor, humor

McClain 08

Fri, 16 May 2008 06:12:10 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: minx.cc

Ring.
Ring.

Pollster: Is this the residence of Mr. OregonMuse?

OregonMuse: Yes it is:

P: And who are you going to vote for in November, Mr., uh, Muse?

O: John McClane.

P: Excuse me, did you say John McCain?

O: No, I said John McClane.

P: Now, why would you vote for John McClane?

O: he is the candidate whose views on no-nonsense views on foreign policy, domestic terrorist threats, and oily bad guys are closest to my own.

P: But McClane is a fictional character.

O: And yet, he would be the best candidate. Sad, isn't it?

Click.

Yippie Kay Yay America!

Tags: politics, election, president, humor

Showing support for McCain's energy plan

Tue, 13 May 2008 19:16:23 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.scrappleface.com

(2008-05-13) — A day after Republican presidential candidate John McCain unveiled his cap-and-trade plan to defeat the imminent threat of global warming, a coalition of conservative voters announced it would enthusiastically support his proposal by refusing to burn fossil fuels on November 4, 2008.

“We’re eager to live out Sen. McCain’s conservative vision for the earth,” said the group’s unnamed spokesman, “by keeping millions of Republican-owned SUVs and pickup trucks in their garages on election day.”

The coalition said the symbolic move would not only “cut carbon emissions by thousands of tons,” but it would also “put a president in the White House with John McCain’s views on the global warming issue.”

Tags: mccain, election, energy, global warming, humor

Obama has been to 57 states....

Fri, 09 May 2008 23:35:40 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: hotair.com

[Video]

Ambinder asks the question you’re already asking yourself. Verdict: Dude’s lost his bearings.

Tags: obama, states, humor

Hillary quits

Wed, 07 May 2008 15:18:42 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.scrappleface.com

(2008-05-07) — Sen. Hillary Clinton aborted her White House bid today blaming what she called a “vast mathematical conspiracy” that secretly works to keep women out of positions of power.

The former First Lady said she would return to the U.S. Senate and introduce legislation to help female presidential candidates “breakthrough the math ceiling.”

Party insiders pressured her to pull out after Tuesday’s crushing defeat in the North Carolina primary and her surprisingly thin victory in Indiana.

“It’s beyond coincidence that Barack Obama has more votes, more delegates and more money than I do,” said a tearful Sen. Clinton at a news conference announcing her withdrawal from the race. “It would take a willing suspension of disbelief to think that I was forced out of this race because a majority of Democrats don’t want me to be president.”

“I’ve always heard that figures don’t lie,” she said, “but apparently they’ll do whatever it takes to crush the hopes and dreams of American women.”

Tags: clinton, politics, humor, satire

Obama campaign posters

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 23:39:34 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: www.redstate.com

Tags: obama, politics, humor

Vote for best Wright cartoon of the week

Fri, 02 May 2008 04:58:43 GMT

clipped by: n2sooners

Clip Source: zardozz.com

Help us select the Best Rev. Wright Rant Cartoon of the week!

Tags: obama, wright, religion, politics, humor