Clipmarks | mugofcoffee's 'people' clips

Ten Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 04:37:49 GMT

clipped by: missangelyss

The Ten Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People
Copyright 1999 Steve Hein, The EQ Institute - May be copied for educational uses.

High EQ people:

1. Label their feelings, rather than labeling people or situations.	"I feel impatient." vs "This is ridiculous." "I feel hurt and bitter". vs. "You are an insensitive jerk." "I feel afraid." vs. "You are driving like a idiot."
2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.	Thoughts: I feel like...& I feel as if.... & I feel that Feelings: I feel: (feeling word)
3. Take responsibility for their feelings.	"I feel jealous." vs. "You are making me jealous."
4. Use their feelings to help them make decisions.	"How will I feel if I do this?" "How will I feel if I don't"
5. Show respect for other people's feelings.	They ask "How will you feel if I do this?" "How will you feel if I don't."
6. Feel energized, not angry.	They use what others call "anger" to help them feel energized to take productive action.
7. Validate other people's feelings.	They show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other people's feelings.
8. Practice getting a positive value from their negative emotions.	They ask themselves: "How do I feel?" and "What would help me feel better?" They ask others "How do you feel?" and "What would help you feel better?"
9. Don't advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to others.	They realize it doesn't feel good to be on the receiving end of such behavior, so they avoid it.
10. Avoid people who invalidate them, or don't respect their feelings.	As much as possible, they choose to associate only with other people with high EQ.

Tags: eq, emotional intelligence

How to Get People to Like You

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 19:23:50 GMT

clipped by: kankamuso
clipper's remarks: A little bit more detailed than the usual "just be yourself", heh.

Clip Source: mysticeye.info

Learn to remember names. A name is very important to someone. If you don’t take the time to learn someone’s name, it indicates that you’re not interested in him or her. When someone remembers your name, it gives you the feeling that you are interesting or important.

Be easy going and natural. When you are stiff, reserved or unresponsive, you unconsciously build up a barrier. But when you are easy going and natural it is easy for people to like you.

Be interesting. Have something to talk about that people find interesting or stimulating. This way people want to be with you.

Don’t have a big ego. If you give the impression that you know it all, that you are superior, you make it hard for people to like you. Be normally humble.

Do some self-study and get rid of negative attitudes. People can consciously or unconsciously pick those up and they might find it irritable to be around you.

Always look for the positive qualities in a person. Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.

Try to build up someone’s ego. Make compliments. Congratulate upon someone’s achievement, or express sympathy when they are in sorrow or if they feel disappointed. The ego is a sacred thing; every human being has the desire to feel important. When you deflate someone’s ego, you are wounding him deep inside.

Give strength to people, support them. Help them to be stronger and they will give you affection.

Whether you like to admit it or not, we want people to like us. If someone tells you that he does not really care if people like him or not, he simply is not being honest. The longing to be liked is one of our deepest desires. We want to be popular, we want people to speak nothing but good of us and we want to have affection of the people around us. It is in our human nature.

Tags: how to, lists, psychology, relationships

Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 04:47:34 GMT

clipped by: OhBlaDi

Clip Source: stopgeek.com

Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

12 Nov, 2006 General, -Funneh

Top Ten Reasons to Make Gay Marriage Illegal

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. .

Tags: politics, idiots, gay marriage

The 8 Intelligence Types

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 02:31:50 GMT

clipped by: Sorgalim
clipper's remarks: You can read more about each type and discover your own strengths by choosing from the list.

Clip Source: homeworktips.about.com

Do you think IQ tests provide the best indication of intelligence? You may be surprised to know that some scientists don't think so.

As a matter of fact, one scientist came up with a new theory about intelligence more than twenty years ago. Dr. Howard Gardner of Harvard University proposed that people were much more complex than standard testing suggested. He argued that traditional intelligence tests favored logical and mathematical people, but that different people had different strengths.

Linguistic and Verbal Intelligence

Logical and Mathematical Intelligence

Spatial Intelligence

Body and Movement Intelligence

Musical Intelligence

Interpersonal Intelligence

Intrapersonal Intelligence

Naturalist Intelligence

Tags: linguistic, verbal, words, logical, intelligence, math, spatial, picturs, body, movement, rhytm, interpersonal, communication, intrapersonal, analyzing things, naturalist, natural, world

Why Intelligent People Tend To Be Unhappy

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 01:19:00 GMT

clipped by: serene_ore

Clip Source: www.scribd.com

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

- Ernest Hemingway, author and journalist, Nobel laureate (1899-1961)

Children develop along four streams: intellectual, physical, emotional (psychological) and social. In classrooms, the smartest kids tend to be left out of more activities by other children than they are included in. They are "odd," they are the geeks, they are social outsiders. In other words, they do not develop socially as well as they may develop intellectually or even physically where opportunities may exist for more progress.

Adults tend to believe that intelligent kids can deal with anything because they are intellectually superior. This inevitably includes situations where the intelligent kids have neither knowledge nor skills to support their experience. They go through the tough times alone. Adults don't understand that they need help and other kids don't want to associate with kids the social leaders say are outsiders.

Tags: people, intelligence, happiness

The Importance of Having Friends Who Disagree

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:14:26 GMT

clipped by: pongba

Clip Source: ravimohan.blogspot.com

Paul Graham says, in one of his essays (emphasis mine) "....Why do you need other people? Can't you just think of new ideas yourself? The empirical answer is: no. Even Einstein needed people to bounce ideas off. Ideas get developed in the process of explaining them to the right kind of person. You need that resistance, just as a carver needs the resistance of the wood.

In my experience, this need for "friendly resistance" extends to far more than creating startups. Every time you have a new idea, you need people you can bounce it off. To get any real benefit out of this process you need people with a complex combination of characteristics.

They should

have firm (but not rigid) opinions on their own
have logical reasons for those beliefs and be able to articulate them clearly
are driven by ideas and not ideology
not attach their egos to their opinions.
be willing to concede a valid argument even if it forces them to possibly re-examine their beliefs
know how to listen

Tags: essay

Why We do Dumb or Irrational Things: 10 Brilliant Social Psychology Studies

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:54:44 GMT

clipped by: Newfman
clipper's remarks: Descriptions of all 10 experiments at the site

Clip Source: www.spring.org.uk

"I have been primarily interested in how and why ordinary people do unusual things, things that seem alien to their natures. Why do good people sometimes act evil? Why do smart people sometimes do dumb or irrational things?" --Philip Zimbardo

Like eminent social psychologist Professor Philip Zimbardo, I'm also obsessed with why we do dumb or irrational things. The answer quite often is because of other people - something social psychologists have comprehensively shown.

Over the past few months I've been describing 10 of the most influential social psychology studies. Each one tells a unique, insightful story relevant to all our lives, every day.

1. The Halo Effect: When Your Own Mind is a Mystery

2. How and Why We Lie to Ourselves: Cognitive Dissonance

3. War, Peace and the Role of Power in Sherif's Robbers Cave Experiment

4. Our Dark Hearts: The Stanford Prison Experiment

5. Just Following Orders? Stanley Milgram's Obedience Experiment

Tags: psychology

Parasite "Turns Women into Sex Kittens"

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 18:31:58 GMT

clipped by: nohobot
clipper's remarks: The sexy side of parasitism? (Shudder!)

Clip Source: www.news.com.au

A COMMON parasite can increase a women's attractiveness to the opposite sex but also make men more stupid, an Australian researcher says.

Human infection generally occurs when people eat raw or undercooked meat that has cysts containing the parasite, or accidentally ingest some of the parasite's eggs excreted by an infected cat.

About 40 per cent of the world's population is infected with Toxoplasma gondii, including about eight million Australians.

Until recently it was thought to be an insignificant disease in healthy people, Sydney University of Technology infectious disease researcher Nicky Boulter said, but new research has revealed its mind-altering properties.

"Infected men have lower IQs, achieve a lower level of education and have shorter attention spans. They are also more likely to break rules and take risks, be more independent, more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose, and are deemed less attractive to women.

"On the other hand, infected women tend to be more outgoing, friendly, more promiscuous, and are considered more attractive to men compared with non-infected controls.

"In short, it can make men behave like alley cats and women behave like sex kittens''.

The mice were more likely to take risks that increased their chance of being eaten by cats, which would allow the parasite to continue its life cycle.

Rodents treated with drugs that killed the parasites reversed their behaviour, Dr Boulter said.

Another study showed people who were infected but not showing symptoms were 2.7 times more likely than uninfected people to be involved in a car accident as a driver or pedestrian, while other research has linked the parasite to higher incidences of schizophrenia.

Tags: science, research, parasite, australia, cat, cats, mice, mouse, sexuality, sex, personality, men, women

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 11:11:29 GMT

clipped by: tanuki

Clip Source: pepsea.stumbleupon.com

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Tags: humor, humour, joke, sarcasm

Top 10 physically modified people

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 18:17:21 GMT

clipped by: monstersmom

Clip Source: www.deputy-dog.com

top 10 physically modified people

10. leopard man

9. etienne dumont

8. rick genest

7. the illustrated lady

6. elaine davidson

5. kala kaiwi

4. pauly unstoppable (bme page)

3. the lizardman (website)

2. lucky diamond rich (website)

1. stalking cat (website)

Tags: body modification, tattoos, piercings, unusual people, top 10

Clipmarks named Top 5 Web Service of 2006 by PC Magazine

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 20:02:32 GMT

clipped by: egoldstein
clipper's remarks: This is a great honor!! Thank you to everyone who has helped make this such a great year. I truly feel that Clipmarks is a special place on the web...and it's because of the people who clip and share interesting things they find during their journey on the web.

So, this award goes to all of us...the people who clip the best of the web, the people who pop and comment on those clips and the people who simply love to read it all. Thank you and congrats to everyone!

Clip Source: www.pcmag.com

Clipmarks
Think of it as an online scrapbook. With Clipmarks, you can easily cut and save little bits of info from the Web, as much as you would from a newspaper or magazine. You can annotate them. You can organize them. And of course, you're encouraged to share them. This is one tag-happy social-networking site that's actually worth using. And it's free.

Tags: clipmarks, internet, web, service, pc magazine

Steal my content, please!

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:09:31 GMT

clipped by: ericskiff
clipper's remarks: I completely agree with Scoble on this one, although I can understand why people who make their living directly from their creations have a hard time letting go of the fear of giving away at least some of the rights to their content.

Cory Doctorow began releasing all of his literary work under creative commons licenses years ago, allowing people to freely download and distribute his work under some light provisos. I downloaded and read "Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom" on my palm pilot, freely and legally, and was hooked.

Because of that, I've read a huge amount of his writing, become a mammoth fan, and will likely purchase every book he publishes. I've also published everything I've written, shot, and produced under a similar license.

While that certainly hasn't brought me traditional commercial success, it has definitely accelerated serendipity countless times for me, and if you trace out the effects of those 'lucky' events, it's helped shape both my career and life.

Clip Source: scobleizer.com

I was just reading feeds before heading to the second day’s events at LeWeb3 conference in Paris. Along comes Susan Mernit’s blog, who quotes Lane Hartwell, who is pissed that people steal her photographs. She’s decided to take all of her Flickr photos out of the public eye.

Me? I’m the opposite of Lane. I WANT YOU to steal my content. In fact, next year I’m going to do stuff to make all my content available via Creative Commons license so you can use it whereever and whenever, including my video shows. I’d like a credit, yes, but don’t demand it. I’d rather just add to the human experience and if that means that other people make money off of my work, so be it.

I’ve found that the more I give away my content, the more magical stuff happens to me anyway and if that means my photos or writings or videos get used in some way that I don’t really like, well, that’s a risk I’m willing to take. Lane obviously is not.

If the world were 100 people

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 08:43:52 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz

Clip Source: www.wildcrazy.com

Something to think about!!

If the world were 100 people

There would be:

57 Asians

21 Europeans

14 from North and South America

8 Africans

52 would be female

48 would be male

70 would be nonwhite, 30 white

59% of the entire world's wealth would belong to only 6 people

and all 6 would be citizens of the United States

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

1 would be near death

1 would be near birth

Only 1 would have a college education

99 of them will not see this message,

because only 1 would have a computer.

Tags: if

How to be charming!!!!

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 09:06:35 GMT

clipped by: mugofcoffee
clipper's remarks: nice and easy

Clip Source: www.wikihow.com

Good posture will give the impression of self confidence (even if you don't feel that way on the inside). While walking, it is always important to maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture- spine long, shoulders back.

Relax the muscles in your face to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved there. For some people, it helps to dwell on something or someone that makes them happy

Make a connection.

Remember people's names

Be interested in people.

Orient topics toward the audience.

Praise others instead of gossiping.

Issue compliments generously

Be gracious in accepting compliments

Control your tone of voice.

Empathy is at the core of charm. If you can't tell what makes people happy or unhappy, you have no way to assess whether you are saying the right or wrong thing.

Never argue

Never laugh at your own jokes

Never over-explain anything

Tags: charming, personality traits, personality development.

great photos from the sky

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 03:49:52 GMT

clipped by: boozich
clipper's remarks: "Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art"

Clip Source: files.kavefish.com

Tags: photos, pictures, sky, from