Clipmarks | morgainelefaye's clips

10 realistic rules for good non-monogamous relationships

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:31:21 GMT

1. Know yourself. For starters, be brutally honest with yourself and answer the following questions. I’m not kidding about the brutal part. Sugarcoating will not help you here.

2. Love yourself. Okay, so this sounds like the greatest cliché known to man, but it’s actually the basic ingredient for good non-monogamy.

3. Be happy ALONE. Yes, that’s right. Alone. All alone. No partner.

4. Communicate. Honestly. Now comes the time where you take all that brutal honesty with yourself, and translate it into brutal honesty with your partner(s).

5. Know what you want. Here’s another list of questions for ya.

6. Go for content, not form.

7. Be nice. Polyamory is not about the technicalities. It’s the spirit, not the letter of the law that counts.

8. Have safer sex. This doesn’t just mean use a condom.

9. Be strong. Make no mistake about it: choosing a polyamorous relationship style is a radical thing.

10. Go with the flow. In other words, don’t go out looking for anything.

Tags: relationships, non-monogamy, mlf

7 habits of highly effective open relationships

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:26:04 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: defendingtheraven.blogspot.com

1. To thine own self be true. First and foremost before even entering into the conversation about opening your relationship in any way you have to be honest with yourself. Is this something you, as an individual, want? Something you're interested in, excited by, and want to try? Or, are you doing it for your partner? If you are then stop.

2. Like in monopoly, house rules apply.

3. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

4. Everyone gets a veto.

5. "Can you hear me now?" is not just a cheesy line from a commercial.

6. Change is a Force of Nature.

7. 1 + 1 + x = 2. Always.

Tags: relationships, sexuality, non-monogamy, mlf

How to Choose a Career

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 09:57:50 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.thesimpledollar.com

There are a lot of ways to choose a career. Most of them are bad.

First thing, throw your preconceptions out the window.

Second thing, don’t worry about income when choosing a career.

Third thing, listen to your heart.

Fourth thing, be realistic about your skills.

Got all that? What’s left is figuring out what your skills are (your actual vocation) and what you’re passionate about (the subject of your vocation).

How do I figure out my skills?

What classes come easier to you naturally?

What are you naturally drawn to doing in your spare time?

What areas do you test well in?

What careers naturally match your default personality?

What do others perceive you as an expert at?

What career paths make you feel happiest when you imagine yourself following through with them?

How do I figure out my passions?

Ask questions

Ignore what’s “cool”

Dabble in everything

When something really piques your interest, try it again - and again

Associate with people who share this new interest of yours

Bad guys really do get the most girls

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 22:41:16 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.newscientist.com

NICE guys knew it, now two studies have confirmed it: bad boys get the most girls. The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the "dark triad" persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs.

The traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism. At their extreme, these traits would be highly detrimental for life in traditional human societies. People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators.

But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. "We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy."

Student uses Twitter to get out of jail

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 12:50:14 GMT

clipped by: egoldstein
clipper's remarks: What an incredible example of the power of the social web. It's truly remarking how much power is gained by the people from the web. Knowledge is power...and the internet definitely helps spread knowledge more quickly to more people than ever before.

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

Buck, a graduate student from the University of California-Berkeley, was in Mahalla, Egypt, covering an anti-government protest when he and his translator, Mohammed Maree, were arrested April 10.

On his way to the police station, Buck took out his cell phone and sent a message to his friends and contacts using the micro-blogging site Twitter.

The message only had one word. "Arrested."

Tags: twitter, web, egypt

And baby makes four: Raising a baby with three parents

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:25:15 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: babble.com

"Why do some kids have three parents?"

A group of our friends were spending a weekend at a cabin in the mountains, and our hosts' not-quite-three-year-old was starting to do the math. Over the squalls of nap-resisting toddlers, her mom responded without missing a beat: "Because they're lucky."

Living in a committed multiple-adult household always takes some explaining. In a nutshell: My wife and I were college girlfriends and had a commitment ceremony more than ten years ago. Our husband joined our family in 2001, and we had a three-way wedding in 2005. We own a house and car together and are equal co-parents (or as equal as you can be when one person is breastfeeding) to our one-and-a-half-year-old daughter.

Tags: relationships, polyamory, mlf

Is it love, or a mutual strangulation society?

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:11:48 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

Each of the following five statements is the polar opposite of what most Americans see as loving commitment. But these are "meat loves salt" commitments, as necessary as they are unconventional. Only if you and your beloved can honestly say them to each other is your relationship likely to thrive.

Want an honest and long lasting relationship? Make sure you and your partner can recite these five statements.

I can live without you, no problem

My love for you will definitely change

You're not everything I need

I won't always hold you close

You and I aren't one

Tags: relationships, mlf, polyamory

Dreams

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:38:13 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: community.livejournal.com

Dreams | Zink Magazine | September 2007

Tags: photography, mlf

Nina Valkhoff - Delfts Blue toilet seat

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:07:03 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.incredible-interior.com

This toilet-seat is completely decorated in the famous 'Delfts Blue'-style. Even though it's a typical Dutch product, it surely fits on every toilet in the world!

Hand-painted on solid wood with oil-paint. The fastening-system is chromium-plated with brass. Varnished with 5 layers of glossy varnish, especially to protect the painting against urine and cleaning products. (this kind of varnish is also used for boat-exteriors)

Tags: mlf

Amazing Story (Kanzen-naru shiiku: Onna rihatsushi no koi)

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 15:59:36 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.filmfestivalrotterdam.com

Again, Kobayashi takes us along to a snow-covered Hokkaido, where this time a man kidnaps the hairdresser of a small town. Not a thriller, but a lightly erotic drama about loneliness.

Because of the desolate landscape, Kobayashi chose snow-covered Hokkaido (the most northern island of Japan) as the setting for Amazing Story, a light-erotic drama about a lonely man, Kenji, who kidnaps the woman of his dreams. The woman is Harumi, a hairdresser in the deserted town where Kenji has just arrived. It's never really busy in her business. Harumi's husband is a gambling addict and spends all Harumi's money. Maybe that's why Harumi doesn't try very hard to escape when Kenji kidnaps her. His concern about her and his boundless worship probably help, too. Something strange and beautiful blossoms between the kidnapper and his victim, but can this be the basis of a long and happy encounter?

Tags: mlf

Lust, Caution

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 21:48:05 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.8weekly.nl

Het jongste kunststuk van Taiwanees regisseur Ang Lee intrigeert en ontroert. De film is gebaseerd op een opmerkelijk en op waarheid gebaseerd kort verhaal van Eileen Chang. Zij worstelde dertig jaar lang met haar slechts 28 pagina's tellende werkje. In 1942 is Sjanghai door de Japanners bezet. Mevrouw Mak gaat op de thee bij Mevrouw Yee en haar vriendinnen. Ze spelen de hele dag mahjong terwijl hun rijke, collaborerende mannen de stad verdelen. Mevrouw Mak is voorzichtig, zij is er nog niet achter dat als de eerste helft van de titel Lust je in zijn greep heeft het veel te laat is voor de tweede, Caution.

In deze erotische thriller wordt er zeer ruig, inventief, stijlvol, geil, spannend en vooral met overgave geneukt. In China werd dit Ang Lee niet in dank afgenomen, en in zijn film werd fors geknipt om deze geschikt te maken voor Chinese consumptie. Venetië wist de film wel op waarde te schatten, met als resultaat een Gouden Leeuw.

Tags: erotica, movies, mlf

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:43:07 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.4women.gov

A person with CFS feels completely worn-out and overtired. This extreme tiredness makes it hard to do the daily tasks that most of us do without thinking — like dressing, bathing, or eating. Sleep or rest does not make the tiredness go away. It can be made worse by moving, exercising, or even thinking.

CFS can happen over time or come on suddenly. People who get CFS over time get more and more tired over weeks or months. People who get CFS suddenly feel fine one day and then feel extremely tired the next. A person with CFS may have muscle pain, trouble focusing, or insomnia (not being able to sleep). The extreme tiredness may come and go. In some cases the extreme tiredness never goes away. The extreme tiredness must go on for at least 6 months before a diagnosis of CFS can be made.

Tags: cfs, mlf

Basic Facts about CFS

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:39:49 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.cdc.gov

Chronic fatigue syndrome, or CFS, is a debilitating and complex disorder characterized by profound fatigue that is not improved by bed rest and that may be worsened by physical or mental activity. Persons with CFS most often function at a substantially lower level of activity than they were capable of before the onset of illness. In addition to these key defining characteristics, patients report various nonspecific symptoms, including weakness, muscle pain, impaired memory and/or mental concentration, insomnia, and post-exertional fatigue lasting more than 24 hours. In some cases, CFS can persist for years. The cause or causes of CFS have not been identified and no specific diagnostic tests are available.

Tags: cfs, mlf

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:37:44 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.medicineau.net.au

The term Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) refers to a symptom complex of marked and prolonged fatigue for which no identifiable cause can be found. Other symptoms frequently present include generalised muscle weakness and pain, low-grade fever, sore throat, painful lymph nodes in the neck and armpits, exacerbation of fatigue after moderate or strenuous exercise for periods of 24 hours or more, transient pains in a number of joints, and various disturbances of neuropsychological function including confusion, irritability, poor concentration and visual changes. Despite the range of other symptoms being extensive, none are essential for the diagnosis to be made in the presence of profound fatigue of 6 months or more duration. Chronic fatigue syndrome is frequently seen in association with psychiatric illnesses such as depression and anxiety but has not been shown to be causally related to any particular psychiatric disease.

Methods for Decreasing Dependency: Change Your Identity

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:24:18 GMT

clipped by: morgainelefaye

Clip Source: www.mentalhelp.net

Change your Identity. If you've been in a dependent position for a long time, chances are that dependency has become ingrained into your identity; your vision of yourself; your self-concept. You may even engage in labeling yourself, "I'm a dependent sort of person" (labeling being a cognitive bias you might want to look into correcting).

To the extent that you see yourself as a fundamentally dependent person, you might profitably spend some time exploring how this identity came to be, and whether it fits who you want to become. The effort you put into exploring the reasons and ways you have come to think of yourself as fundamentally dependent will pay off by increasing your awareness and insight, which will, in turn, help you recognize and correct your dependent beliefs and behaviors.

Attend to the Past.

Attend to the Present, and to the Future.

"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step", as the saying goes.

Tags: psychology, mlf