Clipmarks | masbury's 'race' clips

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 19:35:06 GMT

clipped by: djkraz
clipper's remarks: pretty funny stuff

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Your friends love you anyway.

Tags: funny, humor

15 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 23:14:30 GMT

clipped by: swampfoxz
clipper's remarks: If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

Clip Source: www.awesomeology.com

15 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Never lick a steak knife.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Your friends love you anyway.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

Tags: aging

Top 15 Geek Quotes

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 05:13:35 GMT

clipped by: ragendem

Clip Source: www.boardofwisdom.com

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

- Unknown

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

- T-Shirt

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

- Unknown

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

- tee shirt

My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.

- Unknown

I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly

- T-Shirt

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

- Unknown

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

- Unknown

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

- Unknown

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

- Unknown

Clip Source: www.boardofwisdom.com

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.

- Unknown

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you

- someone at slashdot

People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

- Unknown

The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"

- Unknown

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.

- Unknown

Tags: social, science, humor

I am an Idiot

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 00:11:40 GMT

clipped by: abbysname
clipper's remarks: fun tricky puzzles

Clip Source: soli.inav.net

I Am An Idiot

The following four questions are designed to test your intelligence. You must respond to these questions immediately without hesitation. Say the first answer that comes into your head.

1: You participate in a race, you pass the runner in second place. Which position are you in now?

Answer: If your answer was first place you are wrong. You pass the runner in second place, so YOU are now in second place.

Spend a little bit more time to think about the next question.

2: If you pass the last person in the race, which position would you be in?

Answer: If your answer was second from last, you would be wrong. Think a little.... How could you pass the last person? If you are behind the last person, then he could not be the last person.

OK, here's one to test your maths. Don't make any notes or use a calculator for this one. Good luck!

3: You start with 1,000
Now add 40.
Add another 1,000.
Add 30.
Add 1,000.
Now 20.
Then 1,000 again.
And finally add 10.

What's the total?

Answer: 5,000??? You're wrong again!!! The correct answer is 4,100. Try it with a calculator, you'll see....

Try one more question!!!!

Mary's father has five daughters:

1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ????

Question: What is the name of the fifth daughter? Think about it... the answer is below...

Answer: Chuchu??? Wrong!!! Mary, silly!!! Try to understand the question first....

Tags: puzzle, game, fun, trick

39 Monty Python sketches

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 09:28:50 GMT

clipped by: kankamuso
clipper's remarks: Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!

Clip Source: hightechnews.info

1. Monty Python - Self Defence Class
3. Monty Python - married
2. Monty Python - Burma
3. Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen
4. Monty Python - International Philosophy
5. Monty Python - Kilimanjaro Expedition
6. Monty Python - Arguement Clinic
7. Monty Python - Funniest Joke
8. Monty Python - The Visitors Sketch
9. Monty Python - Tobacconist Sketch
10. Monty Python - Twit Olympics
11. Monty Python - Agatha Christie Sketch
12. Monty Python - Lumberjack Sketch
13. Monty Python - Eat Me!!
14. Monty Python - The Galaxy Song
15. Monty Python - Mr. Creosote
16. Monty Python - Star Trek
17. Monty Python - Nudge Nudge
18. Monty Python - Football
19. Monty Python - Dirty fork
20. Monty Python - Hospital Sketch
21. Monty Python - Killer Rabbit
22. Monty Python - Dead Parrot
23. Monty Python - Restaurante
24. Monty Python - Force
25. Monty Python - Jumpstyle
26. Monty Python - Graveside
27. Monty Python - Mosquito Hunting
28. Monty Python - Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook
29. Monty Python - Military Fairy Routine
30. Monty Python - Courtroom Sketch
31. Monty Python - The Spanish Inquisition
32. Monty Python - Coconut
33. Monty Python - Salad Days
34. Monty Python - The Accident Sketch
35. Monty Python - Twit Race Sketch
36. Monty Python - Courtroom Charades
37. Monty Python - The Prejudice Show
38. Monty Python - The man who is alternately rude and polite
39. Monty Python - Milkman

Tags: humor, funny, monty python, videos, youtube

100's of free TV shows, movies, and more..here are some examples

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 21:45:14 GMT

clipped by: delete101
clipper's remarks: I'm watching "The Best of Will Farrell" right now. Works great! No glitches. There's something for everyone. I've been searching a long time for such a free, quality on demand TV show and movie site. I cant wait to watch old Knight Rider shows! Enjoy!

Clip Source: www.tv-links.co.uk

24 - Updated!

30 Rock

3rd Rock From The Sun

4400, The - Updated!

8 Out Of 10 Cats

A Bit Of Fry & Laurie

A Haunting - Updated!

A-Team, The

Absolute Power

Absolutely Fabulous

Addams Family, The - Updated!

Adventures of Brisco County Jr.

Adventures Of Pete And Pete

Afterlife

Alan Partridge - Updated!

Alf

Alias

Amazing Race, The

Ally McBeal

American Idol

Andromeda

Andy Barker, P.I.

Angel

Apprentice, The

Animorphs

Aquaman

Are You Afraid of the Dark

Arrested Development

At Home With The Braithwaites

Babylon 5

Balls Of Steel

Bam's Unholy Union

Band Of Brothers

Batman Classic

Battlestar Galactica - Updated!

Battlestar Galactica (1978)

BBC Presents:

Best Of Will Ferrell

Bewitched

Beyond Belief

Big Day

Beyond the Break

Big Train

Big Wolf On Campus

Billy Connelly In New York

Black Books

Black Donnellys, The

Blackadder - Updated!

Blade: The Series

Blood Ties

John Doe

Veronica Mars

Prison Break

Who's Line Is It Anyway

Addams Family, The

Lost

Trailerpark Boys

i'm Alan Partridge Season

Nathan Barley

4400, The

Tags: free

One girl kissed him and said, "This will make it better."

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 08:53:40 GMT

clipped by: mugofcoffee
clipper's remarks: most inspiring!

Clip Source: www.rogerknapp.com

Special Olympics

A few years ago at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win.

All, that is, except one boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back. They all turned around and went back. Every one of them.

One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, "This will make it better."

All nine linked arms and walked across the finish line together.

Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why? Because deep down we know this one thing:

What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves.

What truly matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

Tags: olympics, disabled, children, love, inspiring.

Torture of cows...WTF is wrong with people!?!?!?

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:42:59 GMT

clipped by: egoldstein
clipper's remarks: Honestly, the human race really depresses the shit out of me sometimes. People actually torture cows in the name of making a buck. Makes me sick.

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

The video shows Hallmark Meat Packing Co. workers administering repeated electric shocks to downed cows -- animals that are too sick, weak or otherwise unable to stand on their own. Workers are seen kicking cows, jabbing them near their eyes, ramming them with a forklift and shooting high-intensity water up their noses in an effort to force them to their feet for slaughter.

"This must serve as a five-alarm call to action for Congress and the U.S. Department of Agriculture," said Wayne Pacelle, Humane Society president. "Our government simply must act quickly both to guarantee the most basic level of humane treatment for farm animals and to protect America's most vulnerable people -- our children, needy families and the elderly -- from the potentially dangerous food."

Tags: cows, hallmark meat packing, wtf, sad

Are There Really Continents of Floating Garbage?

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 12:06:20 GMT

clipped by: wildcat
clipper's remarks: Even so, this polluted, chemical filled junk is finding it’s way onto our dinner tables.

Clip Source: www.dailygalaxy.com

Since stories have started surfacing more recently, many have wondered if the rumors are true. Are there really ‘continents’, or massive floating garbage patches residing in the pacific ocean? Apparently, the rumors are true, and these unsightly patches are reportedly killing marine life and releasing poisons that enter the human food chain, as well. Indeed, the human race has really made its mark. One plastic patch is estimated to weigh over 3 million tons and covers an area twice the size of Texas.

But if there are massive islands of junk out there, why doesn’t everyone already know about it, and why are we doing something about it?

Well, there are several reasons. First, no one is keen to claim responsibility for these monstrosities, which exists in one of the most remote spots on the planet

It’s easy to ignore than deal with, at least in the short term. Clean up is nearly impossible at this point

Internalized racism in black children: a new "doll test"

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 04:05:49 GMT

clipped by: enbar
clipper's remarks: A columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette discusses a short documentary film showing that African American children as young as three identify whiteness as attractive and blackness as ugly. Also discusses several related studies.

Clip Source: www.post-gazette.com

Documentary, studies renew debate about skin color's impact


	Click image for larger version.

Miss Davis, a senior at Urban Academy High School in New York City, also recreates psychologist Kenneth Clark's legendary 1940s "Doll Test" in the film and obtains similar results. Dr. Clark's research was used to challenge school segregation in the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case Brown vs. Board of Education.

In the documentary, Miss Davis gives black preschool children two dolls, identical except for their color. One is black, the other, white.

She asks a little girl to show her the nice doll. The little girl holds up the white doll.

"Can you show me the doll that looks bad?"

The little girl holds up the black doll.

"Why does that look bad?"

"Because it's black," the little girl says.

She asks why the little girl thinks the other doll is the nice doll.

"Because she's white," the child says.

"Can you give me the doll that looks like you?"

The little girl hesitates -- looking back and forth at both dolls, first grabbing the white doll -- then, looking a bit sad, she reluctantly pushes forward the black doll.

Fifteen of the 21 children interviewed said they preferred the white doll.

"I learned how easily we can internalize things," says Miss Davis, who made the documentary in 2005 through the Reel Works Teen Filmmaking after-school program. "Even at 4 or 5 years old, you get the message, you get what society values and what it doesn't."

To view the film -- visit: www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/a_girl_like_me/

It's been shown at more than a dozen film festivals and won nine awards, including the Media That Matters Diversity Award and the SILVERDOCS Audience Award for a Short Documentary.

Tags: race, news, u.s.-news, psychology

Paul Newman Dies at 83 RIP

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 15:52:09 GMT

clipped by: carrerinyes
clipper's remarks: NEW HAVEN, CONN. -- Paul Newman, the Academy-Award winning superstar who personified cool as an activist, race car driver, popcorn impresario and the anti-hero of such films as "Hud," "Cool Hand Luke" and "The Color of Money," has died. He was 83.

Newman died Friday after a long battle with cancer at his farmhouse near Westport, publicist Jeff Sanderson said. He was surrounded by his family and close friends.

Clip Source: www.latimes.com

Legendary film star Paul Newman dies at 83

The stunningly handsome actor maintained his superstar status through nearly 100 Broadway, television and movie roles, evolving into Hollywood's elder statesman. He was 83 and had been diagnosed with cancer. Discuss | A-Z

Razor-thin, bendable TV screen you can wear as T-Shirt

Fri, 25 May 2007 17:10:07 GMT

clipped by: BitDrifter

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

In the race for ever thinner displays for TVs, cell phones and other gadgets, Sony may have developed one to beat them all - a razor-thin display that bends like paper while showing full-colour video.

Sony Corporation posted video of the new 2.5 inch display on its' web page.

In the video, a hand squeezes the 0.3 millimetre (0.01 inch)-thick display, which shows color video of a bicyclist stuntman, a picturesque lake and other images.

Tags: technology, business, competition, tv, television, thin, bendable, sony

Einstein was right: space and time bend

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 11:30:01 GMT

clipped by: wildcat

Clip Source: observer.guardian.co.uk

Einstein was right: space and time bend

Ninety years after he expounded his famous theory, a $700m Nasa probe has proved that the universe behaves as he said. Now the race is on to show that the other half of relativity also works

Under his name in the Oxford English Dictionary is the simple definition: genius. Yet for decades physicists have been asking the question: did Albert Einstein get it wrong? After half a century, seven cancellations and $700m, a mission to test his theory about the universe has finally confirmed that the man was a mastermind - or at least half proved it.

The early results from Gravity Probe B, one of Nasa's most complicated satellites, confirmed yesterday 'to a precision of better than 1 per cent' the assertion Einstein made 90 years ago - that an object such as the Earth does indeed distort the fabric of space and time.

The other, 'frame-dragging', stated that as the world spins it drags the fabric of the universe behind it.

Tags: science, physics, space time, universe, bending, relativity theory

No Wonder Men are Happier. . .

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:04:46 GMT

clipped by: peaceplease
clipper's remarks: In reply to words women use. . . It's amazing the human race survives.

Clip Source: humour.200ok.com.au

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Tags: funny, humor, women, men, lists

CNN readers respond angrily to 'race or gender' story

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 02:05:22 GMT

clipped by: wiccantexan

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

Within minutes of posting a story on CNN's homepage called "Gender or race: Black women voters face tough choices in South Carolina," readers reacted quickly and angrily.

Many took umbrage at the story's suggestion that black women voters face "a unique, and most unexpected dilemma" about voting their race or their gender.

An e-mailer named Tiffany responded sarcastically: "Duh, I'm a black woman and here I am at the voting booth. Duh, since I'm illiterate I'll pull down the lever for someone. Hm... Well, he black so I may vote for him... oh wait she a woman I may vote for her... What Ise gon' do? Oh lordy!"

Tiffany urged CNN to "pull this racist crap off" the Web site and to stop calling Hillary the "top female candidate."

"Stop calling Barack the "Black" candidate," she wrote.

Matt e-mailed, "The article itself shows black women have brains and actually choose candidates based on issues and not just gender or race, but CNN doesn't seem to give them that credit."

Tags: woman, women, black, politics, race, gender, media