Clipmarks | masbury's 'humor' clips

Palin Blasts Obama's Ties to Weather Channel

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 06:59:37 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Uh-oh.

Palin Blasts Obama's Ties to Weather Channel

Alaska governor Sarah Palin went on the attack today, claiming that Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama had longstanding ties to The Weather Channel.

"There's a fine line between hating America's weather and hating America herself."

"They said that Sen. Obama was hanging out with weathermen," she said. "Do we really want to elect someone who has been palling around with meteorologists?"

Tags: palin, obama, humor, satire

Violence erupts between Facebook factions

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:44:36 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Daily Mash reports:

Clip Source: www.thedailymash.co.uk

CARNAGE AS FACEBOOK MOVES EVERYTHING SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT

HOSPITALS were struggling to cope last night as rival Facebook gangs fought running battles across a dozen British towns and cities.

Violence erupted as Facebook ignored the warnings of more than one million protesters and moved everything very slightly to the left.

Martin Bishop, commander of the Lyme Regis brigade of Keep the Old Facebook, said: "I was waiting for my page to load, looking directly at the centre of the screen, when suddenly my life became a storm-tossed fishing boat in a sea of confusion.

"Everything that mattered to me was now three centimetres to the left of where it normally is. And a little bit wider. And the blue-grey panel on the right was a bit wider too."

Roy Hobbs, from Dorchester, who makes weapons for We Like the New Facebook, said: "This is a motorcycle chain

You have to wear gloves when you're swinging it

He added: "That blue-grey panel was always far too narrow. Don't you think?"

Tags: humor, techology, internet

Take stick, poke bear

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 02:23:20 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: H/T Brother Tim - Editorial Cartoon of the Week

Clip Source: ofrevelation.blogspot.com

Tags: humor, politics, foreign affairs

"I have seen Putin's sole"

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:07:25 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Lukovich political cartoon

Clip Source: sage

Tags: humor, politics

Bush urges expanded drilling of Alaskan wildlife

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 02:05:00 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: New tech allows boring through bull-walrus midsections. Conservatives rage against saying anything funny about not drilling in ANWR, citing apocalyptic destruction of American values. Urge technology tax credits for development of higher petroleum use. "Americans should be able to bathe themselves in light sweet crude."

Clip Source: www.theonion.com

Bush Urges Expanded Drilling Of Alaskan Wildlife

Workers near Alaska's Lake Teshekpuk take a core sample from a grizzly bear cub.

President Bush urged Congress Tuesday to pass an appropriations bill that would enable expanded drilling of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge's animals.

"With more federal money we can invest in necessary hardware, such as more durable annular diamond-impregnated drill bits, which can bore two-inch diameter holes deep through a solid bull-walrus midsection in seconds."

Drill foremen have already begun digging shallow exploratory holes through the surface flesh of over 5 million animals to provide workspace for the drillers and their equipment. Once this step is complete, an electrical generator powered by a large diesel engine will plunge rotating carbide-steel-tipped drill bits through the animal, boring through the skin, bone, or blubber at speeds of up to 6,500 rpm.

"It's an exciting time to be in the wildlife-drilling field," Salinas added.

Tags: bush, humor, anwr

Jon Stewart nails MSM for peddling "Baracknophobia"

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:07:28 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Even sillier than the myths you've already heard!

Clip Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Jon Stewart Mocks Media For Peddling Insane Obama Rumors

On Monday night's "Daily Show," Jon Stewart mocked the media's willingness to peddle insane rumors about Barack Obama — and their tendency to blame the rumor-mongering on internet sites. Calling it "Baracknophobia," Stewart showed clips of anchor and pundits from all three cable networks repeating baseless rumors (Muslim, plagiarist, sexist, etc.) about Barack Obama (and his wife Michelle).

The highlight of the clip comes about 2:25 in, when Stewart says, "Oh, this is interesting. SomeguyI'veneverheardof.com is reporting presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama has lady parts. Obviously scurrilous and unfounded, we'll examine it tonight in our special, 'Barack Obama's Vagina: The October Surprise In His Pants.'"

Tags: obama, humor

Why everyone should support Republicans

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:09:33 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: They offer so very much ...

Clip Source: www.dailykos.com

the Republican party appeals to me for so many reasons

I fully and totally support the war

I can only hope that these or other wars are still raging when my boys are old enough to fight--they're already 6!

Republicans know that there is no problem for which the free market cannot find a solution

We need more insurance companies to charge unaffordable premiums for policies that offer bare bones coverage with sky high deductibles

Fourth, polar bears, ice caps, bumblebees, glaciers, carbon footprints, mass transit, Florida, California, New York, New Orleans and all other low lying, densely populated areas can kiss my ass

I absolutely support the GOP's sweeping education reform

No one understands better than a teacher the importance of demanding accountability and reform while underfunding and mismanaging at the highest level

One last point. How in the world is my marriage going to survive if my gay neighbors get to do it, too?

McCain/Lieberman '08

Tags: humor, satire, politics

Secret McCain webpage edits

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 23:51:25 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Oh, come on, it's a joke!

Clip Source: www.236.com

Tags: mccain, humor

A Tear for McClellan

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:48:28 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Bush's lament ...

Clip Source: www.truthdig.com

Tags: humor, politics, mcclellan

KU KLUX KLAN WON'T ENDORSE OBAMA!

Wed, 28 May 2008 05:01:04 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Excellent satire - read the whole thing! Healthcare, it is assumed, is their point of disagreement. And "Noting her strength with the broad swaths of people who have no intention of actually voting for her, Senator Clinton also feels Obama's weakness with people who hate both of them with a passion should give unpledged superdelegates pause."

Clip Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Dateline - Lynchburg, Virginia

In a surprising move, which some are calling a deathblow to his candidacy, the Ku Klux Klan today decided to not endorse Senator Barack Obama in his bid for the Presidency of the United States. Seeming to validate Hillary Clinton's assertion that Obama cannot win the all-important poor white racist vote which had became the cornerstone of her support, many are now speculating that rejection by the influential domestic terrorist organization could spell the end for the Illinois Democrat's race for the White House.

At his armed camp outside of Shepherdstown, West Virginia, Imperial Grand Wizard Gomer Bath explained the Klan's decision. "Our secret membership just did not feel that Senator Obama was addressing our core values." he said during press conference to a group of blindfolded reporters.

I don't know about the others," he continued, "but for myself it really came down to health care

we took a hood count, and voted unanimously against endorsement

Tags: satire, politics, obama, race, humor

Object in mirror is not as close as she thinks

Sun, 25 May 2008 05:55:04 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Obama/Clinton cartoon

Clip Source: www.cagle.com

Tags: humor, politics

ID real vs. fake: breasts, Cuban cigars, 2-way mirrors, diamonds

Fri, 23 May 2008 23:51:34 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Now this is important ...

Clip Source: www.tremblantrealty.com

Real vs. Fake

Morpheus once asked Neo, “What is real? If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” So when it comes to breasts, can your brain interpret which electrical signals are emanating from the real deal and which are from the fakes? How was Kramer able to spot a fake Cuban cigar in just one puff? How can a woman tell if her husband spent two days’ salary on her wedding ring as opposed to the standard two months? When you’re busy popping that forehead pimple in the mirror, how can you be sure there’s not a team of sweaty detectives on the other side, watching your every move in a cloud of cigarette smoke? Here are some tips on how to discern between what’s real and what’s not.

Tags: real, fake, humor, women, breasts

Ask your doctor about GASTAXADROPPIN!

Sat, 10 May 2008 04:31:16 GMT

clipped by: masbury
clipper's remarks: Warning: In the event of a tax vacation lasting three months, see your politician immediately. And don't expect your economy to firm up again for a long time

Clip Source: content.cartoonbox.slate.com

Tags: clinton, mccain, politics, elections, humor, cartoons