Clipmarks | martijnvreugde's clips

lol we men are bastards

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 10:42:53 GMT

Married

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Tags: joke

Calvin and Hobbes

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 11:45:57 GMT

clipped by: quickstar
clipper's remarks: really funny cartoons, more at the website!

Clip Source: www.drurywriting.com

A special tribute to Calvin, Hobbes and

the

Underappreciated Art of the Snowman

Tags: calvin and hobbes, comics

Imagining the 10th Dimension part1

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 02:34:46 GMT

clipped by: Lora316K

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

Tags: technology, science

exquisite graphic pic

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 07:29:05 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde
clipper's remarks: I wish I could design this well

Clip Source: features.cgsociety.org

Tags: fairy, digital design

16 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 06:06:40 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde
clipper's remarks: Just get up and dance.

Clip Source: www.askmen.com

16 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn

January 27th, 2007
AskMen.com Rates This Joke: 8/10

1- You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

2- You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3- The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

4- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5- There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

6- There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

7- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8- If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

9- The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10- If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

11- You should not confuse your career with your life.

12- A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

13- No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14- When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15- Your friends love you, anyway.

16- Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Tags: learning, advice

Sitting Up Straight Is Bad for You

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 06:39:24 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde
clipper's remarks: I need to find teachers to say "TOLD YOU SO"

Clip Source: tech.yahoo.com

Sitting Up Straight Is Bad for You

Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:42PM EST

See Comments (3)

"Sit up straight. Sit up straight." Man, how many times have we been ordered to sit erect at a 90-degree angle supposedly to ensure our spines didn't turn to jellified mush?

Turns out the conventional wisdom may have been wrong once again. A new study claims that the best way to sit at a desk is at a rather heavy recline of 135 degrees.

This isn't just hokum: The research involved multiple volunteers and MRI scans of the back to measure the effect of various sitting positions on spinal disks. In fact, the worst back effect was generated by sitting at a 90-degree angle. The best was the 135-degree posture, which produced the least amount of spinal disk movement.

It kind of makes sense when you think about it. It feels good to recline, which is why we sit that way where we're relaxing on the couch. On the other hand, sitting upright puts all your spinal disks in a big column, one on top of the other, pressing down on those poor disks at the bottom of the line. How could that be good for your back?

Of course, these are just the results of one study, and I'm sure there's plenty more research that needs to be done in this area. Meanwhile, I'm just glad to have a good excuse as to why I can kick my feet up while I'm trying to work. Doctor's orders, baby!

Tags: sitting, posture

FINALLY!! Britney Spears abruptly filed for divorce

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 07:24:43 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde

Clip Source: edition.cnn.com

Pop superstar Britney Spears abruptly filed for divorce Tuesday, citing irreconcilable differences with husband Kevin Federline just two months after the birth of their second child.

Spears, 24, filed a divorce petition in Los Angeles Superior Court a day after a surprise appearance on a late-night TV chat show, showing off a new hair cut, a black mini dress and looking sexier than she has for years.

The date of the separation after two years of marriage was given as Monday. Spears did not seek spousal support but asked for sole custody of her two sons with Federline, one-year-old Sean Preston, and James Jayden, born September 12. (Gallery)

Neither Spears nor Federline made any comment Tuesday. (Divorce document)

Tags: britney, k-fed, divorce

The Philosophy of Sex

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:42:40 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: A few of these have already been clipped...no pun intended.

Clip Source: moronland.net

The Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Tags: humour, battle of the sexes, funny, sex, men, women

Funny actual Police Quotes

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 08:41:29 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde
clipper's remarks: brilliant

Clip Source: www.cast.co.za

Police Quotes

Alleged true police excerpts -- but if they aren't, I like the humor anyway.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey S#!*."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And the best one.....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't .. Sign here. "

Tags: police, joke, quotes

awesome origami, these guys have way too much time

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 07:02:54 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde
clipper's remarks: wow, that must take time

Clip Source: www.funpic.hu

Tags: origami, paper

We cannot eat money

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:20:20 GMT

clipped by: giraffe42

Clip Source: www.peaceproject.com

Tags: humor, apocalypse, extinction

Google + Firefox = Free Music

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 22:01:35 GMT

clipped by: benjaminoaks
clipper's remarks: There’s a lot you can do with Google if you can take advantage of it’s advanced search features. Expanding on this tip which shows you how to find music in open directories, here’s a step-by-step walkthrough on how to use Firefox Smart Keyword searches to speed up the process.

Clip Source: www.friedbeef.com

Google + Firefox = Free Music Downloads

Posted by James Yeang
October 17, 2006

Firefox, Google, lifehacks, music, smart+keywords, Useful Tips

There’s a lot you can do with Google if you can take advantage of it’s advanced search features. Expanding on this tip which shows you how to find music in open directories, here’s a step-by-step walkthrough on how to use Firefox Smart Keyword searches to speed up the process.

All you need to do is:

Create a bookmark in Firefox
Use the URLs in this text file as the bookmark location in your Firefox bookmarks (like in the pic above)
Assign a keyword to it - eg. music
Type the keyword (eg. music) followed by the search term (eg. beatles) directly into the address bar (NOT the search box). For example… type in music beatles , and Google will search open directories for Beatles music files that you can download.

You can modify the code in the text file to change file extensions, which opens a whole window for you. For example, you can even change it to PDF and DOC to look to e-books, or AVI and MPG to look for movies.

By the way, I’m assuming you already own the media you will be downloading :)

Bonus Tips:

The feature above only works for Firefox. If you’re NOT on Firefox yet, try it now
If you want to create basic smart keywords to search any web page, here’s how.
Here’s a useful advanced features cheat sheet from Google
If you don’t find the files on Google, you can try the best bittorrent search engine ever.

Add to del.icio.us Digg this! Vote on Reddit Email to a friend

If you liked this article, get new articles via email , or grab our feed for free site updates.

5 People Had Something To Say | TrackBack

Related Posts:

Discover a World of Music with Aurgasm

A better way to browse the web… (Firefox)

Surf The Web More Intelligently With StumbleUpon

Tags: internet, music, digital, good idea, google, firefox

what not to say while flying a 747

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 11:37:03 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde

Clip Source: www.cast.co.za

Fuel light

Tags: joke, 747

Paint.like.no.other lol awesome ad

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 09:35:56 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde

Clip Source: chump-style.blogspot.com

Paint.like.no.other

So previously Sony produced the awesome bouncing ball (i freakin love bouncing balls) advert for their Bravia TV. Well here are some pics from Part 2.

Here are some of the stats:
70,000 litres of paint
358 single bottle bombs (HTH - Chris Stud?)
33 sextuple air cluster bombs (Dari - sextuple sounds like something you would say)
22 Triple hung cluster bombs (Sounds like the big dick of all bombs)
49 Jager bombs (just kidding)
268 mortars
33 Triple Mortars (New name for a band - shotgun)
22 Double mortars
358 meters of weld
330 meters of steel pipe

57 km of copper wire (they must have pulled a lot of wire)

One of the most brilliant ads I've seen!
The pics above don't do it justice so go
download the advert, there's even paint coming out of the ground and shit!

Tags: bravia, paint

Should teen moms-to-be get maternity leave?

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 14:13:25 GMT

clipped by: martijnvreugde
clipper's remarks: society of today

Clip Source: www.iol.co.za

Should teen moms-to-be get maternity leave?

October 31 2006 at 06:52AM

By Se-Anne Rall

Education roleplayers have had a mixed reaction to a suggestion that pregnant schoolgirls be given maternity leave.

The appeal was made by a delegate at a recent summit on teenage pregnancy, held in Pietermaritzburg.

The question of maternity leave was raised following a survey of 120 KwaZulu-Natal schools that found 887 schoolgirls had fallen pregnant this year. Last year the figure was 727 and in 2004, 632.

In 2004, 43 girls reported falling pregnant because of sexual abuse. This year the figure rose to 60.

The survey found that the age at which most schoolgirls fell pregnant was 16, but noted pregnancies in girls as young as 11.

Tags: teen moms, maternity, pregnant