Clipmarks | jklugman's 'humor' clips

Sometimes Batman wishes Robin wouldn't say everything he thinks...

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:28:04 GMT

clipped by: jklugman

Clip Source: community.livejournal.com

Tags: comics, humor

If you could live inside your favorite memory forever...

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:21:09 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: I love Waverly Films.

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

Tags: humor

Book lifts (coffin) lid on star of eerie first Dracula film

Sat, 10 May 2008 22:09:54 GMT

clipped by: CarnivalBorn

Clip Source: www.reuters.com

The first screen portrayal of Dracula was so eerie, some critics asked whether the actor himself could be a vampire. But since his death, little has been done to resurrect Max Schreck's reputation -- until now

The rest of his career has been largely forgotten -- unjustly, in the view of German author Stefan Eickhoff, who has written what he says is the first biography of Schreck

Eickhoff's biography provides a detailed chronicle of the career of Schreck, a civil servant's son who appeared in around 800 stage and screen roles

Clip Source: www.reuters.com

The most revealing descriptions of the Berliner come from tributes paid to Schreck after he died suddenly in 1936

Contemporaries remembered Schreck, who was married but had no children, as a loyal, conscientious loner with an offbeat sense of humor and a talent for playing the grotesque

One recalled how he lived in "a remote and strange world" and would spend hours walking through dense, dark forests

Can syphilis be transmitted through toilet seats?

Mon, 05 May 2008 18:49:48 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: No.

Clip Source: joshreads.com

a quote from a doctor in the early 20th century, when it was still considered a live question as to whether syphilis could be transmitted by unsanitary bathroom facilities. “It’s really quite amazing,” he said. “All of my married patients have caught it from a dirty toilet, and all my bachelor patients have caught it from having sex.”

Tags: sex, humor

The Perfect University

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:23:13 GMT

clipped by: jklugman

Clip Source: orgtheory.wordpress.com

Clark Kerr, the former president of the University of California system, reportedly said that the perfect university “provided sex for students, sports for alumni, and parking for faculty” (Rorabaugh, Berkeley at War, pg. 12).

Tags: education, higher-education, humor, quote, quotes

Spongebob's Casablanca

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:19:42 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: Hilarious.

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

Tags: humor, film, godfather, casablanca, ingrid bergman, singin' in the rain

Jack Kingston R-GA - stupidest man in Congress

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 03:19:59 GMT

clipped by: jklugman

Clip Source: talkingpointsmemo.com

Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA) has always been one of my favorite buffoons in Congress. No one trick pony, he's been putting in long moron hours for years up on the Hill and on the chat shows. But it was a particular tour de force even for Jack when he showed up last night on MSNBC to bash Barack Obama for not wearing a flag lapel ... without remembering to wear one himself ...

[Video]

Tags: stupid, humor, jack kingston, hypocrisy, republicans

Hippie Punching

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:12:50 GMT

clipped by: ColoradoRight
clipper's remarks: Do your part today.

Clip Source: www.imao.us

If there's one thing I've realized over the past few years is that hippies are not being punched quite enough, and I think the recent incident with Berkeley and the Marines shows the problem of not enough hippie punching.

So what has led to this dearth in hippie punching? Breakdown in family structure? Loss of prayer in school? Increasing childhood obesity? Prevalence of non-violent videogames? Whatever the reason, I think we need to spend more time telling the next generation the importance of striking hippies in the face with a fist. No functional society has survived hippies running around unpunched, and America will be similarly doomed if we don't change our ways.

Our military is overseas killing terrorists -- the violent form of the hippie -- so they can't be here punching hippies for us. We have to do that ourselves.

Tags: culture, hippies, punch, humor

The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 04:51:04 GMT

clipped by: jklugman

Clip Source: www.cracked.com

The above happened years after Moses killed the Egyptian guy and led a country's worth of Hebrews into the desert where they wandered aimlessly for several decades (as seen in The Ten Commandments). At some point, a troublemaker named Korah and 250 supporters banded together and aired a series of complaints about the fact that they were wandering aimlessly in the desert.

God listened carefully to their complaints, weighed their points, then made the earth eat them alive. The text does not make it clear whether or not the earth made that "OM NOM NOM" sound, so scholars are forced to speculate.

This really puts things in perspective for the anti-religion critics. They can complain all they want about religious "intolerance" and pushy evangelicals trying to censor TV and annoy people into conversion. But, that's a hell of an improvement over the situation during the Exodus, when God would feed nonbelievers to the mighty Sarlacc.

Tags: religion, humor, christianity

New Theories Suggest Kennedy Wasn't Shot

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:03:46 GMT

clipped by: jklugman

Clip Source: www.theonion.com

While the book, Outside the Crosshairs, does not dispute the fact that a massive portion of Kennedy's skull was separated from his head during the 1963 Dallas visit, it maintains that the president suffered fatal explosive- cranial trauma through means completely unrelated to gunshots.

"Certainly extreme force was involved in this tragic death," said Dr. Horace Musashi, the book's author and a professor of computer science at Mount Union College in Alliance, OH. "However, none of the available photographs or recorded footage provides even a shred of evidence that an actual bullet did anything to Kennedy's body. As scientists, therefore, we must consider all other possibilities, no matter how much they challenge the status quo."

Musashi himself favors an explanation known as the single-massive-spike-in-blood-pressure theory.

Tags: humor

Lego Chest-burster

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 19:28:15 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: (cf)

Via NinjaSlice

Clip Source: s58.photobucket.com

Tags: aliens, film, humor

Director held at airport for intending to shoot a pilot

Tue, 29 May 2007 22:50:44 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: Via Cinematical

Clip Source: news.aol.com

(May 29) -- There are certain things one should probably refrain from saying at an airport, and director Mike Figgis unfortunately learned the hard way.

Figgis, who directed "Leaving Las Vegas," was reportedly held for over five hours at Los Angeles International airport after he told immigration officers "I'm here to shoot a pilot," according to The Guardian. In television, the first episode of a potential television show is called a pilot. However, the agents, apprently not in-the-know with industry terms, took it to mean Figgis had plans to gun down an airline pilot.

Figgis was then held in an interrogation cell for five hours, and was released after officers figured out he had no assassination plans.

Tags: mike figgis, film, humor

Eddie Izzard - Jesus & the Dinosaurs

Fri, 25 May 2007 20:30:20 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: Eddie Izzard talks about what happens when Jesus comes to earth to preach to the dinosaurs.

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

Tags: christianity, humor, eddie izzard

Machine translation or Faulkner?

Thu, 10 May 2007 14:21:52 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: Here is a quiz where you have to decide whether a passage was written by William Faulkner OR is just a computer translation of a German text.

I got 50%.

Via Scott Horton at Harper's

Clip Source: reverent.org

Machine translation or Faulkner?

by Mikhail Simkin

Can you tell the prose, that won a Nobel Prize, from one, that needs editing?

Each quote below is either machine-translated German text or a sample of William Faulkner's prose.

After each quote indicate what it is. Hit the Submit button when done. The quiz will be graded and you will see the correct answers.

Tags: william faulkner, humor, novels, literature, german

Embarrassing Michelle Malkin video

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 20:45:48 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks: Michelle Malkin dons a cheerleader outfit to chant L-O-S-E-R to describe Democratic opposition to the Iraq war. If this is the best argument she can muster for the Iraq war, then the cause truly is dead.

Clip Source: wonkette.com

[Video]

Tags: michelle malkin, conservatives, humor