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The news Clinton & Bill Gates

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 04:05:20 GMT

clipped by: hotdoge3

The news

Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner he told them: I need three important people to send my message out to all the people: "Tomorrow I will destroy the earth."

Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: "I have two really bad news items for you:
1) God really exists and

2) Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."

Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: "I have good news and bad news:
1) The GOOD news is that God really does exist

2) The BAD news is, tomorrow He is going to destroy the earth."

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and very happily announced: "I have two fantastic announcements:
1) I am one of the three most important people on earth
2) The Year 2000 problem is solved."

Apple vs Microsoft

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 03:56:30 GMT

clipped by: hotdoge3

Clip Source: www.kissmyfloppy.com

Apple vs. Microsoft

Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a computer conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple employees buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft engineer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple employee. They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats, but all three Apple employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on.

Computer acronyms

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 03:32:11 GMT

clipped by: hotdoge3

Clip Source: www.kissmyfloppy.com

Computer acronyms

PCMCIA	-	People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
PENTIUM	-	Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
WWW	-	World Wide Wait
COBOL	-	Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
CD-ROM	-	Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2	-	Obsolete Soon, Too.
MIPS	-	Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS	-	Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT	-	Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
LISP	-	Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
RISC	-	Reduced Into Silly Code
SCSI	-	System Can't See It
DOS	-	Defective Operating System
BASIC	-	Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM	-	I Blame Microsoft
DEC	-	Do Expect Cuts

Comments(0)

Lucky bastard at Harvey Norman store

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:42:24 GMT

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If Leonardo Da Vinci had Photoshop

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:19:00 GMT

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tell the world exactly who you are

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 01:58:49 GMT

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Clip Source: www.kissmyfloppy.com