Clipmarks | hitchhiker08's 'booze' clips

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 21:09:36 GMT

clipped by: adamc
clipper's remarks: I find it hard to say "specificity" when I'm sober.

Clip Source: humor.beecy.net

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Transubstantiate

Things that are IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

Tags: funny, drunk, alcohol, drinking, speech

Rules of Drinking

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 21:31:20 GMT

clipped by: Scattered_Fusion
clipper's remarks: Many more at site.

Clip Source: www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.

18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.

21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

Tags: entertainment, education, drinking, booze, rules

At Least He Died Happy

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 22:27:45 GMT

clipped by: debbyski

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

A 4,000-year-old skeleton has been unearthed by experts working on building Britain's biggest ever greenhouse - clutching a pint of beer.

The Bronze Age man's body was dug up by archaeologists who were called in after a team of builders working on the construction of the giant Thanet Earth project in Monkton, Kent, uncovered the skeleton last week.

According to experts the skeleton - that of a high status male - was found in shallow grave holding a "type of beer mug".

Marion Green, of the Canterbury Archaeological Trust, said that the find last week was one of the best preserved Bronze Age skeletons she had ever seen.

She added: "It is a beautifully decorated pot which could have been used as a type of beer mug."

Tests on beer mugs from other sites show that Bronze Age man was an ale lover - making the booze from grain.

Tags: my, hero

Students invent powdered booze

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 16:38:15 GMT

clipped by: cpltaiji
clipper's remarks: I cannot BELIEVE this! Why don't they just wean them on alcohol then?

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (Reuters) -- Dutch students have invented powdered alcohol which they say can be sold legally to minors.

The latest innovation in inebriation, called Booz2Go, is available in 20-gram packets that cost €1-1.5 ($1.35-$2).

Top it up with water and you have a bubbly, lime-colored and -flavored drink with just 3 percent alcohol content.

"We are aiming for the youth market. They are really more into it because you can compare it with Bacardi-mixed drinks," 20-year-old Harm van Elderen told Reuters.

Van Elderen and four classmates at Helicon Vocational Institute, about an hour's drive from Amsterdam, came up with the idea as part of their final-year project.

"Because the alcohol is not in liquid form, we can sell it to people below 16," said project member Martyn van Nierop.

The legal age for drinking alcohol and smoking is 16 in the Netherlands.

Tags: life, law, health, government, general interest, bizarre, alcohol

Drunk, violent, promiscuous... a U.S. view of British youth

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:23:52 GMT

clipped by: michellezm

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

British youth are violent, drunken and out of control, a leading American magazine concludes today.

The front cover of renowned publication Time Magazine depicts a young man in a "hoodie" with mugshots of others across a Union Jack.

Its headline reads: "Unhappy, Unloved and Out of Control - An epidemic of violence, crime and drunkenness has made Britain scared of its young."

It also pours scorn upon the parenting abilities of the British, claiming they do not spend enough time with their children and cannot cope.

The magazine criticises our class-riven society, education system and binge-drinking culture.

"The boys and girls who casually pick fights, have sex and keep the emergency services fully occupied are often fuelled by cheap booze."

The article expresses particular concern at Britain's binge-drinking culture.

"Alcohol Concern noted that one in three British men and one in five women drink double the amount considered safe at least once a week," it says,

10 Gadgets For Air-Conditioned Summer Survival

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:17:00 GMT

clipped by: Beholder

Clip Source: gizmodo.com

For many of us, the first day of summer starts just before midnight tonight. That means it is time to start thinking about how to beat the heat when the temperatures soar and the air conditioning unit in your home or office inevitably breaks down. In this scenario, survival means being prepared for anything. The following summertime gadgets will ensure that you have all of your bases covered.

USB "Air Conditioned" Shirt:

Nike PreCool Vest:

The innermost layer of the vest is filled with frozen water and it is insulated by an outermost layer of aluminum.

Insulated Evaporative Cooling Hat:

Ice Sauna:

it can keep the temperature at a brisk 10 degrees below zero.

"Air Conditioned" Bed:

Luxury 18-headed shower:

Universal Shower Diffuser:

Finally, what you put on the inside is just as important as what you put on the outside when it comes to staying cool. And when I think of a hot day, two things generally come to mind: booze and ice cream.

Taisin Ice Sphere Mold:

creating perfect ice spheres.

Tags: gadgets, summer, air conditioning

Mom Sells Car After Finding Alcohol

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 16:28:08 GMT

clipped by: wurdzgurl
clipper's remarks: I hope that I'm this mean when my daughters are old enough to drive.

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone -- by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: "OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

The only critic is her son, who Hambleton says is "very, very unhappy" with the ad and claims the alcohol was left by a passenger.

Hambleton believes her son but has decided mercy isn't the best policy in this case. She says she set two rules when she bought the car at Thanksgiving: No booze, and always keep it locked.

The car has been sold, but Hambleton says she will continue the ad for another week -- just for the feedback. E-mail to a friend

BiIL is..Beauty. Inspiration. Life.

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:07:07 GMT

clipped by: wildcat

Clip Source: bilconference.com

Benefficient. Ingenuous. Lounge.

BIL is...

an open, self-organizing, emergent, and anarchic science and technology conference.

Nobody is in charge.

If you want to come, just show up.

If you have an idea to spread, start talking.

If someone is saying something interesting, stop and listen.

BIL Conference » Help us figure out what BIL stands for

Booze. Intellectuals. Learning.

That’s what we first thought of. But we want it to mean more than that. We’re trying to think up words that start with B, I, and L, and then we’ll have them randomly come together on the homepage. Every time you visit this site, BIL will stand for something else, or at least that’s the plan.

Help us out. Add your thoughts to the wiki or as a comment here.

Brilliance Illuminating Logic.

bilateral intelligence lunge

BIL isn’t lexical

Brilliant. Illogic. Level.

Building Inspiration Liquidity

Biologic. Illogic. Logic.

Breeding Idea Lemmings

Beneficient instability lounge

Beauty. Inspiration. Life.

Better In Life

Tags: bil, beauty, inspiration, life

More Wii injuries....this one looks painful

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 04:50:26 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: Ouch!! It looks too painful to look at...

Clip Source: www.wiihaveaproblem.com

Words... I need more words... My grasp of the English language is simply not sufficient to describe how incredibly amazing this picture is. Rocky Balboa wouldn't have a black eye that is this painful looking even after a dozen or so rounds with Apollo Creed, Mr. T and that Russian dude all at the same time. Let's face it, if she was a fighter... They'd cut her for sure.

Just look at the little trooper... Smiling away as if she didn't look like a second head was about to grow out of her freakin' eye. Ladies and gentlemen, join with me now in bowing before what is easily the most painful looking Wii injury to date. Her boyfriend fills us in on what happened...

"The day our Wii arrived also happened to be when my work was holding our Christmas party. Not being one to forego free booze, off I went leaving the girlie to play to her hearts content.

After guzzling a copious amount of 'wife beater' (Stella Artois) - I returned home to find the girlie in mid battle with a Zelda 'Boss'. In my inebriated state, it was instinctual to become her knight in shining armour. I proceeded to take the controllers off her and fight the beast myself.

Unfortunately, my courage was far greater then my skill. Having taken a good kicking, Liz then tried to intervene with disastrous results. She approached me from the side, appearing from my blind spot, whilst I was performing a slashing movement. I hit her with full force right in her eye!

I truly thought I'd blinded her and was almost about to call an abulance but then her pain died down. You can see the results of the accident in the attached photo...

I'm lucky that Liz is a good sport, but it did cost me, Liz has first dibs on the Wii... a small price to pay - I guess :( -Jim"

Jim, I would congratulate you on a wild story, but I am still staring with my mouth agape at your poor girlfriend. The necessary bill from the florist alone would be enough to send me into debtors prison for the rest of my days.

Tags: nintendo, wii, pain, gaming

There is a measure for everything

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 18:22:47 GMT

clipped by: mbrandewinder

Clip Source: www.wired.com

The Best Obscure Units of Measure? Try Gou, Twip, and Smoot.

Gou (180 milliliters — better known as a rice cup for an electric cooker), pack year (cigarette consumption based on one pack a day for a year), nibble (typically four bits of binary code, or half a byte), score (20 of something), hand (4 inches of horse height), twip (1/20 of a typesetting point), thrave (24 sheaves of wheat), shake (10 nanoseconds), mickey (ratio of computer mouse movement to onscreen cursor movement), jansky (strength of radio signals from space), butt (two hogsheads, or about 126 gallons, of booze), smoot (a measure of length developed by some MIT students, equal to 5 feet, 7 inches — the height of one Oliver R. Smoot).

Tags: science, funny

Are you a Drunkard?

Sat, 19 May 2007 03:21:27 GMT

clipped by: Newfman
clipper's remarks: See the link!

Clip Source: www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com

When the guy at the door yelled, “Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms,” you assumed it was someone bringing more supplies.

You inform the arresting officer that gravity is the only law you feel compelled to obey.

You take pub crawls very literally.

Crying in your beer increases its alcohol content.

Some bastard always manages to slip a Mickey Finn in your 30th drink.

All your finest athletic feats were executed after six or more drinks.

You complain to friends that you “got really sober last night.”

Your friends accuse you of “acting weird” whenever they meet you sober.

You want to rid the world of booze—one drink at a time.

You fall off the wagon and it backs up and runs you over a couple times.

You don’t get “falling down drunk,” you get “gravity-challenged.”

You can identify most of the bars in town by the underside of their barstools.

You’ve gotten so loaded you cursed the DJ for refusing to play “Muskrat Love.”

Youv’e tried to lay down on the ceiling.

Bouncers have a special headlock named after you.

Tags: funny

They Are Not Forgotten

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:14:38 GMT

clipped by: debbyski

Clip Source: www.latimes.com

The line for the free money began to form about 7 a.m. Christmas morning. Homeless veterans, drug addicts, pregnant women with children, and people in wheelchairs took numbered tickets and waited patiently on the sidewalk on skid row.

"Father Dollar Bill" is the Rev. Maurice Chase -- and every Christmas for the last 24 years, he has arrived on skid row carrying thousands of dollars in cash.

At 9 a.m. Tuesday, when he showed up at East 5th Street and Towne Avenue with $15,000, people in wheelchairs immediately surrounded him. His tradition is to give the first 10 people in wheelchairs $100. Others in line receive varying amounts, perhaps $20 or, more often, a few bucks.

People in line often tell him how they'll spend it -- on hamburgers, ice cream and other treats they can't get at the shelters. He knows they're as likely to spend it on booze and drugs. But he says he doesn't care. That's not the point. The point is to show them that they are not forgotten.

Tags: not, practiced, nearly, enough

This bear is on to something!

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 15:44:56 GMT

clipped by: bignosemousie
clipper's remarks: Pizza and beer! and vodka! and Jack Daniel's mixer? er, never mix your liquor, little bear.

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

Bear driven to diet on pizza, booze

STATELINE, Nevada (AP) -- A bear cub drew a crowd of spectators at a Lake Tahoe neighborhood as it munched on barbecue-chicken-and-jalapeno pizza in the back seat of a vintage red Buick convertible.

It also apparently washed it down with a swig of a Jack Daniel's mixer, some vodka and a beer taken from a cooler, the vehicle's owner said.

The cub appeared unfazed by the car's horn that blew nonstop as the animal pressed the seat into the steering wheel.

The owner of the car, David Ziello of South Lake Tahoe, said the bear didn't cause any damage but slopped cheese and jalapenos on the seats and floor.

Tags: bear, animal, funny

Study: US Full of internet addicts.

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 20:26:24 GMT

clipped by: BitDrifter
clipper's remarks: Mirrors Alcoholics in some respects.

Clip Source: www.breitbart.com

The United States could be rife with Internet addicts as clinically ill as alcoholics, an unprecedented study released suggested.

Researchers at Stanford University School of Medicine in Silicon Valley said their telephone survey indicated more than one of every eight US residents showed at least one sign of "problematic Internet use."

Most disturbing was the discovery that some people hid their Internet surfing, or went online to cure foul moods in ways that mirrored alcoholics using booze, according to the study's lead author, Elias Aboujaoude.

"In a sense, they're using the Internet to self-medicate," Aboujaoude said. "And obviously something is wrong when people go out of their way to hide their Internet activity."

According to preliminary research, the typical Internet addict was a single, college-educated, white male in his 30s, who spends approximately 30 hours a week on non-essential computer use.

Tags: addiction, addicts, addict, addicted, study, poll, polls, statistics, data, information, internet, web, society, sociology, psychology, illness, health, technology

Study finds US popular music awash in booze, drugs

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:36:24 GMT

clipped by: arifsali

Clip Source: music.aol.com

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - They have lyrics such as "Tequila makes her clothes fall off" and "Breakin down the good weed, rollin' the blunt/Ghetto pimp tight girls say I'm the man."

U.S. popular music is awash with lyrics about drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Medical researchers have reviewed the words of the 279 top songs of 2005 to estimate just how common they are.

Their report Monday showed a third of the songs had explicit references to substance abuse. And two-thirds of these references placed drugs, alcohol and tobacco in a positive light by associating them with sex, partying and humor, according to the team led by Dr. Brian Primack of the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

Tags: united states, entertainment