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Some great Malapropisms....

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:07:04 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: In a crazy way they almost make sense.....

Clip Source: e5.email.myway.com

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Some Great Malapropisms...*

"I don't want anybody stepping on anyone else's thunder."

"You can't pull the sheep over my eyes!"

"I don't mean to take the steam out of your sails, but...."

"I used to be as sharp as a button."

"That way I can kill two bricks with one stone."

"If my grandfather was alive today, he'd be turning in his grave."

"You can't teach an old leopard how to change its spots."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Road to Easy Street

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:01:29 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1

Clip Source: e5.email.myway.com

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Road To Easy Street*

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 PM for 20 cents.

I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $3.50.

Then my wife's father died and left us ten million dollars."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

First time ever recorded

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 04:06:45 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: A Leopard kills a croc--unbelievable!

Clip Source: www.africapoint.net

All pictures by Hal Brindley/SOLO Syndication
A series of incredible pictures taken at a South African game reserve document the first known time that a leopard has taken on and defeated one of the fearsome reptiles.

Ellie Rose, a reptile keeper at London Zoo, said: “Normally, crocodiles are well able to defend themselves against attack. I can’t think of any examples of this happening before.”

Watch this come toward you!!

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:59:51 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: Great optical wonder.

Clip Source: spiral.gallery.sytes.org

Pitch Lake

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 04:52:09 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: A very unusual lake!!

Clip Source: www.scienceray.com

La Brea Pitch Lake: Trinidad & Tobago

The first on our list is truly a bizarre lake. Based on the meaning of lake, it implies that a lake is a - body of water but the La Brea Pitch Lake is a lake of natural asphalt. It is in southwest Trinidad. It has fascinated explorers, scientists and the common folk since its discovery by Sir Walter Raleigh in 1595. The lake covers about 500 sq. m and is reported to be 75 m deep. The Pitch Lake attracts about 20,000 visitors annually. It is also mined for asphalt which is exported for high-quality road construction. Pitch is an old fashioned name for tar.

Tags: science, geography

Aliens calling? Signals detected

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 04:47:06 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1

Clip Source: www.russiatoday.com

Aliens calling? Signals detected from beyond Solar System

Scientists in South Africa have detected radio signals from beyond the solar system for the first time – prompting a wave of excitement over who, or what, might have sent it. The signal is the most significant of its kind since radio telescopes started operating in the 1960s.

A strong radio signal, possibly of alien origin, was detected at around 21:14 local time on July 28. It came from Sagittarius A, the centre of the Milky Way Galaxy, approximately 30,000 light years away.

The received data will shortly be made available to experts who can use it to create a graph.

However, as the hardware used in the radio telescope has been designed by students and constructed on campus, the receipt of the signal still needs confirmation.

Tags: science

License Picture

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 04:05:29 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1

Clip Source: e5.email.myway.com

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*License Picture*

A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's license in silence for a moment, he said, "You know something? This is one of the finest, most realistic pictures I've ever seen. I'm glad to see you aren't one of those vain women who have their photos retouched to remove all the lines in their face."

"Sir," she replied icily, "you are looking at my thumb-print."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Tags: humor

How to get police response

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 03:21:04 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1

Clip Source: www.myconfinedspace.com

Algal Fuel- a little closer to becoming an Oil alternative

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 03:42:35 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: Go for it!!

Clip Source: cleantechnica.com

A new milestone was reached recently in the race to make algae a conventional oil alternative: high-octane gasoline that is compatible with any gas-guzzling vehicle. The feat was performed by Sapphire Energy, a company that manufactures “green crude”. Sapphire uses single-cell algae to create fuel for cars and other transport vehicles. While the green crude is chemically identical to crude oil, it is completely carbon neutral.

The algal energy doesn’t require the use of agricultural land and water, and it deliver 10 to 100 times more energy per acre than crop-based biofuels. The company hopes that their green crude will ultimately be injected into normal crude pipelines.

Fortunately for consumers, Sapphire isn’t the only company looking into “Oil 2.0“. Silicon Valley company LS9 is working on genetically modifiying single cell organisms to excrete carbon neutral oil. Like Sapphire’s green crude, the LS9 oil will also work in conventional vehicles.

Some Really stupid moves!!!

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 03:37:58 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: Truth is stranger than fiction!

Clip Source: www.kokasexton.com

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.

This doesn't look real!!

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 02:25:14 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1

Clip Source: photography.nationalgeographic.com

Rosy-Lipped Batfish

Paper Walls

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 03:55:15 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: Nice Neighbor!!

Clip Source: e5.email.myway.com

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Paper Walls*

As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working.

Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.

"Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 03:48:34 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1

Clip Source: e5.email.myway.com

* They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.

* Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

* It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

* It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

* The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.

* They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

* The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape.

* Top speed is only about 45 mph.

* Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in bodywork, taillights and a windshield.

* It's hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

Be Happy?!

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 03:37:31 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1

Clip Source: www.google.com

There are lots of ways of being miserable, but there's only one way of being comfortable, and that is to stop running round after happiness. If you make up your mind not to be happy there's no reason why you shouldn't have a fairly good time.
- Edith Wharton

Home Made Roller Coaster!!

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 03:00:33 GMT

clipped by: grammydjb1
clipper's remarks: Couldn't see myself on it, but he seems to enjoy it.

Clip Source: www.offbeatearth.com

When John Ivers got sick of waiting hours upon hours in line to ride 30 second roller coasters at amusement parks, he decided to take the matter into his own hands and build his own homemade roller coaster called Blue Flash. Blue Flash isn’t some run-of-the-mill roller coaster either, it’s perfectly safe and even has a 360 degree loop. This roller coaster makes for some awesome backyard fun.

[Video]