Clipmarks | gigijin's clips

Top 15 Geek Quotes

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 05:13:35 GMT

clipped by: ragendem

Clip Source: www.boardofwisdom.com

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

- Unknown

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

- T-Shirt

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

- Unknown

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

- tee shirt

My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.

- Unknown

I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly

- T-Shirt

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

- Unknown

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

- Unknown

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

- Unknown

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

- Unknown

Clip Source: www.boardofwisdom.com

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.

- Unknown

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you

- someone at slashdot

People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

- Unknown

The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"

- Unknown

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.

- Unknown

Tags: social, science, humor

How (and why) to fight

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 17:18:17 GMT

clipped by: ericskiff
clipper's remarks: Read the whole story at the source.

My personal empowerment came in 8th grade. After being mercilessly bullied for half a year and it all came to a head in a confrontation with 4 of them in the hallway.

The kid I laid out on the floor became my friend later, and I approached life with a new confidence. Needless to say, no one really messed with me afterwards.

I don't advocate violence, but I certainly believe that when provoked or pushed you have to react with confidence, and just sometimes, you have to fight.

Clip Source: www.violentacres.com

The summer I turned 6 years old, some of the neighborhood boys started bullying me. Back then, I owned a pair of cabbage patch kid roller-skates and my favorite activity was skating around the block singing nursery rhymes at the top of my lungs. One day, a few boys in the 8-10 range thought it would be pretty humorous to push me around and watch me flail. I tried to run from them, but I couldn’t skate faster than they could run. They taunted me for a while and then knocked me down. Angry, humiliated, and with two freshly skinned knees, I did what any 6 year old girl would do in my position.

I went home and told my Dad.

My Father was an ex marine and always preached the benefits of learning self defense. Unlike most parents, he had no interest in calling the parents of my bullies to ‘open up a dialogue’ or some other such tripe. Instead, he planned to teach me to kick a little ass.

1. Always Respond to Threats with Complete Confidence

2. Fighting Dirty is Fighting Smart

3. Talk Some Shit

4. When You Lose, Claim It Didn’t Hurt

In retrospect, I think my Father was just trying to teach me a little something about fear and courage. Back then, and even more so today, it became quite popular to advise your children to: Run. Hide. Look away. Go get someone bigger. Be afraid. As a result, modern children and adults alike are easily paralyzed by fear and have no idea how to defend themselves.

Tags: blog, life, personal, interesting, violence, bullying, bully, child, children

Top 15 Strangest Coincidences.

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 13:43:22 GMT

clipped by: JDomingues
clipper's remarks: Amazing!!
Much more at the source.

Clip Source: 2spare.com

Top 15 Strangest Coincidences

Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."

Oregon's Columbian newspaper announced the winning Pick 4 lottery numbers for June 28, 2000 in advance. The newspaper had intended to print the previous set of winning numbers but erroneously printed those for the state of Virginia, namely 6-8-5-5. In the next Oregon lottery, those same numbers were drawn.

On July 28th 1900, the King of Italy Umberto I was having dinner in a restaurant in the city of Monza. It turned out later that the restaurant's owner looked identical to the king. The restaurant owner's name was Umberto, his wife's name was the same as the queen's and the restaurant was opened on the same date as the king's inauguration. The Restaurant-owner Umberto was shot dead the next day. So was King Umberto.

Claude Volbonne killed Baron Rodemire de Tarazone of France in 1872. 21 years earlier, the Baron's father had been murdered by somebody else called Claude Volbonne.

On February 13, 1746, a Frenchman, Jean Marie Dubarry, was executed for the murder of his father. Precisely 100 years later, on February 13, 1846, another Frenchman, also named Jean Marie Dubarry, was executed - for the murder of his father.

On the 26th November, 1911, three men were hanged at Greenberry Hill in London after being convicted of the murder of Sir Edmund Berry. Their names were Green, Berry and Hill.

Tags: history, science, coincidences, life, america, mark twain, loterry

Equations of Life

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 01:38:55 GMT

clipped by: ArghDangIt

Clip Source: www.friendshipland.net

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
______________________________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.
______________________________

GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
______________________________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
______________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Tags: life, humor, funny

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 12:44:38 GMT

clipped by: nhorn

Clip Source: www.lucidcafe.com

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Tags: life

Ten Rules For Being Human

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 02:39:14 GMT

clipped by: yelllowelle

Clip Source: www.bluinc.com

1.	You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.	You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.	There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.	Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.	Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.	"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.	Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.	What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.	Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.	You will forget all this.

Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

Tags: life

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 13:13:27 GMT

clipped by: haraya

Clip Source: www.chaosmatrix.org

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA  34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department. 

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. 

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then. 

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Tags: rejection, letter, humor, funny, wit, application, jobs, people, joke, entertainment