Clipmarks | coconutshell's 'humour' clips

Vader Love

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 10:59:22 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: It's a caption contest over at Gizmodo. There were quite a few of the "lightsabers in the dark sides" ones which cracked me up.

Clip Source: gizmodo.com

In moments she'll find out that he's really her father.

I like how the chest piece complements her... umm.. chest.

"No no no keep your helmet on..."
"But i can't breathe in this thing!"

"Luke, I am your Father."
"No. NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! ...
"Luke, I am your Mother."
"NO! No! That's...that's...Wait a minute...What?!...I mean really, WTF?!"*

Who's your daddy..err, Father?!

I've felt a disturbance.

In the force?

No, dear... in my pants.

Clip Source: gizmodo.com

"So get this, When I told him I was his father He cried. Can you Imagine what he would have done if we were both there?"

The Empire probably enjoyed handmolding the new chest device in between Dartha Vader's stacked breasts.

Is that your lightsaber or are you just happy to see me?

Oh yeah and, 'These aren't the boobs your looking for."

Heeeey Master Vader... I'll be polishing my lightsabre.

"I'll show you my force if you show me yours"!!!!

You know what they say, once you go Dark...

Tags: darth, dartha, vader, star wars, funny, humour, captions

Singing in the Shower

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 09:38:50 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks:

Clip Source: www.randomassembly.com

Tags: comics, random assembly, samantha allen, humour, star wars, shower, shave

Periodic Table of Awesoments

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:33:51 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: Please note that #1 is bacon.

Now let is all cheer.

A clearer look at the source.

Clip Source: www.dapperstache.com

In the 300 B.C., years before the birth of black Jesus, Aristole postulated that all good things were made of "win." That was a pretty good guess, but he was drunk and probably also having an orgy. Modern day awesominers know there are actually 118 fundamental "awesoments" that compose all good things. The Periodic table of Awesoments can be a very useful tool. It's designed to show the relationships between awesoments, and often one can even predict how awesoments interact simply by their positions on the table.

Tags: funny, humour, chuck, norris, bacon, periodic, table

This week's Foxtrot comic.

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:39:36 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: This cracked me up

Clip Source: www.foxtrot.com

Tags: comics, foxtrot, online, xkcd, penny arcade, humour, funny

Jesus Christ! (in a non-expletive way)

Wed, 07 May 2008 09:14:15 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks:

Clip Source: www.b3ta.com

Tags: humour, funny, can i use "jesus" as a tag

Stop! Break it down!

Fri, 02 May 2008 16:26:37 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks:

Clip Source: www.b3ta.com

Tags: humour, music, beatles, fresh prince, mc hammer, hammertime, john cleese, michael jackson, dance

Shhh....it's room 8.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:32:44 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: Wha? I thought it was funny.

Clip Source: eigentaste.berkeley.edu

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?" St. Peter tells him, "Well, the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

Tags: humour, funny, jokes, religion

Meet Klaus, the forklift driver.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:11:26 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: A work safety video that'll split your sides. Pun intended. Pay attention to the warning as it is pretty bloody and gory.

Clip Source: www.geeksaresexy.net

WARNING: Contains blood and gore!

[Video]

Tags: wokr, humour, funny, safety, training, forklift

Emo Pig

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:39:56 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: I love this comic.

Clip Source: www.cartoonlabs.com

Tags: comic, sinfest, emo, funny, humour, humor

Girlfriend 6.0 & Wife 1.0

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:34:44 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: I wonder when I'll get upgraded....

Clip Source: www.math.unipd.it

Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity

applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected

During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release

avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0

you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0

must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first

versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port

all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance

additional software

improve the performance of Wife 1.0

Flowers 3.1

Diamonds 2K

Do not,

nstall Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3

not a supported application for Wife 1.0

Tags: humour, funny, tech, web, 2.0, versions, wife, girlfriend

Politically correct...or not...

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 09:28:32 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: The 2nd #5 is great.

Clip Source: www.ojar.com

1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

3. She is not a "DUMB BLOND" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Tags: humour, men, women, politically, correct, terms, language

Worst 80s movies. Which is #1?

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 09:22:04 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: The #1 is number 1 just for the title alone.

Clip Source: www.retrojunk.com

From a time long forgotten. A time when big hair and ripped jeans ruled the streets. When Michael Jackson was someone to look up to. A time when break dancing was rampant. This time was known as "The 80's". And from the 80's came some of the worst movies of all time.

A weird yummy goop erupts from the earth

THE TOXIC AVENGER

RAWHEAD REX

976-EVIL

call a 976 number and you get demonic powers

CLASS OF NUKEM’ HIGH

typical all-American high school of the 80's, except for the fact that it's right next to a nuclear power plant

GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE

When Dodger accidentally overturns the pail, a greenish ooze oozes out which formulates itself into seven Garbage Pail Kids

BREAKIN AND BREAKIN 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

the movie is just scenes leading up to another dance scene

community center that is getting torn down

the only way to save it is to dance up the walls to the ceiling and having a dancing drive for money

SURF NAZIS MUST DIE

Tags: humour, entertainment, movies, 80s, nostalgia

Trespasser warning!!

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:10:50 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: You've been warned!!

Clip Source: www.neatorama.com

Tags: funny, humour, trespassing, photos, photo, picture, prostitute

Girlie things men would enjoy doing themselves

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:06:45 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: Quite amusing. A few more at the source.

Clip Source: www.socyberty.com

Pull Each Other's Hair in a Fight

Rugby players all over the world would come out of this tight, intimate, muscle-bag meeting with handfuls of man hair.

Wear a Dress to Work

A dress would solve all the snagging problems and would certainly eliminate the need for constant tie and zipper checks.

Have a Handbag

Man bag

Dude purse

Burly purly

Rough sac

Brute case

Wear Their Hair Long and Styled

create extra height for shorter men

appearance of a longer, thinner head for men with chubby faces

Problems solved for the short, fat, bald and ugly variety of the less fairer of the species

Wear a Bra

If all men wore bras, then no one would know which ones really needed them and which ones didn't.

Tags: humour, humor, men, women, society, taboos

Raving Private Ryan

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:13:39 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: Big fish, little fish, cardboard box.

Clip Source: www.b3ta.com

Tags: movie, poster, big, fish, little, cardboard, box, dance, funny, humour