Clipmarks | boozich's 'men' clips

Famous "Quotes" on Sex

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 08:43:30 GMT

clipped by: Scattered_Fusion

Clip Source: www.2spare.com

My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading.

Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen

Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.

St. Augustine

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Steve Martin

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Rodney Dangerfield

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.

Lynn Lavner

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George Burns

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships

Sharon Stone

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Jack Nicholson

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.

Jerry Seinfeld

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

Tags: celebrity, entertainment, sex, humor, funny, quotes

The Philosophy of Sex

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:42:40 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: A few of these have already been clipped...no pun intended.

Clip Source: moronland.net

The Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Tags: humour, battle of the sexes, funny, sex, men, women

Difference between Men and Women

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:07:29 GMT

clipped by: zohaib
clipper's remarks: all true !!!

Clip Source: www.koolstuffs.net

Difference between Men and Women

Published October 15, 2006 by Zohaib

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
want

A woman worries about the future until she gets
a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets
a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him
a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

No sense two people remembering the same thing

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new argument.

Filed under Humor

Water Art »
« Famous Quotes on Marriage

Tags: men, women, gender, sex

A woman without her man is nothing.

Tue, 01 May 2007 21:50:24 GMT

clipped by: thegreatone22254

Clip Source: www.thehumorarchives.com

Tags: funny, women, men

Kurdish girl stoned to death, filmed on camera phone

Mon, 07 May 2007 02:30:58 GMT

clipped by: kkcapricorn
clipper's remarks: There is only one word for this: EVIL

Clip Source: www.boingboing.net

Du'a Khalil Aswad, a 17-year old Kurd who was being killed for having had a relationship with a Sunni Muslim boy

the girl is seen being ambushed on her way home by a group of up to 1000 men who were waiting for her to return; the men killed her in the most brutal way possible, by throwing large stones on her head. The following clips show that while she is alive and crying for help she is taunted and kicked in her stomach until someone finishes her off by throwing a large stone on her face.

From the clips it appears that the girl was first stripped naked to symbolize that she had dishonored her family and her Yezidi religion. She is lying on the road naked while her smashed face is covered with blood and still breathing.

Tags: murder, violence, stoning, predjudice

The Best Quote of 2006

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 17:27:46 GMT

clipped by: amothindisguise

Clip Source: rense.com

Best Quote Of 2006?
By Chris Rock
2-28-7

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. --Comedian Chris Rock

Tags: chris rock, comedy, joke, jokes, humor, quote, quotes

Facts you didn't know about sex

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 15:34:05 GMT

clipped by: kwonsu

Clip Source: peety-passion.com

According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches.

The most common fantasy is oral sex.

8% of us have regular anal sex.

60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.

Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.

In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed.

Men say the average erect penis is 10″. Women say it’s 4″.

A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

56% of men have had sex at work.

Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love
an average of three times a night, every night, until their
thirties, when the weekly average drops to a mere 14.

1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair.

62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs.

29% of us are virgins when we marry.

58% like dirty talk during sex.

Tags: sex, life, medicine, helath, people

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 12:30:25 GMT

clipped by: Scattered_Fusion
clipper's remarks: Well here's 5. Check the site for the rest.

Clip Source: www.eioba.com

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

Tags: sex, mistakes, men, woman, entertainment, education, true

Beautiful and immortal advice. A MUST read!

Fri, 25 May 2007 13:43:50 GMT

clipped by: fudzzz
clipper's remarks: Like the guy on the webpage this is linked to, I also found this letter among my dad's printed emails to me while I was away in university in another country. My dad has long departed since then, but every time I read these words Lincoln wrote to his son's teacher, they bring a tear to my eyes. Beautiful and sincere advice for anyone to follow.

Clip Source: vnicholas.wordpress.com

Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher

He will have to learn, I know,
that all men are not just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that
for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish Politician,
there is a dedicated leader…
Teach him for every enemy there is a friend,

Teach him, if you can,
the wonder of books…
But also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him
it is far honourable to fail
than to cheat…
Teach him to have faith
in his own ideas,
even if everyone tells him
they are wrong…
Teach him to be gentle
with gentle people,
and tough with the tough.

Teach him to sell his brawn
and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price-tag
on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears
to a howling mob
and to stand and fight
if he thinks he’s right.

This is a big order,
but see what you can do…
He is such a fine little fellow,
my son!

Tags: abraham lincoln, lincoln, wisdom, proverbs, teach, learn, advice, life, father, son

15 Things you don't know about your Penis!

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 23:01:18 GMT

clipped by: usmc6531

Clip Source: health.msn.com

4. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really interested in equality, they'd make sure we have four orgasms for every one of theirs.

5. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That's Greek for "amazing swimmer with large penis." Which officially supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever.

7. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It's estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.

10. German researchers say the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds, yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes, 30 seconds. Are we that good or that bad?

12. The penis that's been enjoyed by the most women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga, who supposedly deflowered 37,800 women between the years 1770 and 1784 — that's about seven virgins a day. Go ahead, say it: It's good to be king.

13. Better-looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average, and lousy sperm — and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers most often.

14. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.

15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.

Tags: penis, humor, funny, health

Men's Guide to Dressing - Flow Chart

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 06:03:56 GMT

clipped by: stevemt
clipper's remarks: Funny, somewhat accurate representation of how men dress themselves in the morning.

Clip Source: www.lotsofjokes.com

MEN'S GUIDE TO SELECTING THEIR CLOTHES

We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys will pretty much wear anything, anytime, with anything. This creates the false impression that guys just "throw" any old thing on. This however is not the case. As this handy little guide points out, getting dressed is a highly complex and organized ritual for men.

Tags: men, guide, dress, flow chart

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Thu, 31 May 2007 06:13:43 GMT

clipped by: thefoxalmighty
clipper's remarks: . Funny.

Clip Source: haddadusa.com

Tags: pictures, funny, babies

Parasite "Turns Women into Sex Kittens"

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 18:31:58 GMT

clipped by: nohobot
clipper's remarks: The sexy side of parasitism? (Shudder!)

Clip Source: www.news.com.au

A COMMON parasite can increase a women's attractiveness to the opposite sex but also make men more stupid, an Australian researcher says.

Human infection generally occurs when people eat raw or undercooked meat that has cysts containing the parasite, or accidentally ingest some of the parasite's eggs excreted by an infected cat.

About 40 per cent of the world's population is infected with Toxoplasma gondii, including about eight million Australians.

Until recently it was thought to be an insignificant disease in healthy people, Sydney University of Technology infectious disease researcher Nicky Boulter said, but new research has revealed its mind-altering properties.

"Infected men have lower IQs, achieve a lower level of education and have shorter attention spans. They are also more likely to break rules and take risks, be more independent, more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose, and are deemed less attractive to women.

"On the other hand, infected women tend to be more outgoing, friendly, more promiscuous, and are considered more attractive to men compared with non-infected controls.

"In short, it can make men behave like alley cats and women behave like sex kittens''.

The mice were more likely to take risks that increased their chance of being eaten by cats, which would allow the parasite to continue its life cycle.

Rodents treated with drugs that killed the parasites reversed their behaviour, Dr Boulter said.

Another study showed people who were infected but not showing symptoms were 2.7 times more likely than uninfected people to be involved in a car accident as a driver or pedestrian, while other research has linked the parasite to higher incidences of schizophrenia.

Tags: science, research, parasite, australia, cat, cats, mice, mouse, sexuality, sex, personality, men, women

No Sex Tonight!

Mon, 28 May 2007 11:30:01 GMT

clipped by: karokan
clipper's remarks: I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

Clip Source: www.craigslist.org

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store.

Tags: jokes

Female Orgasm is Deadly for Men

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 19:07:57 GMT

clipped by: Homonculus
clipper's remarks: When it comes to the difference between male and female sexuality, scientist Kunio Kitamura discovered that female orgasm is 10 times stronger than man.

Clip Source: notelay.com

Female sexual arousal and orgasm is a complex process involving the entire woman, mind and body. The human mind receives in sexual stimuli from the body, processes it, and based on past learning and experience causes the body to respond to it.

Like a male orgasm, a female orgasm is usually accompanied with a very physical reaction, such as hot flushes, uncontrollable spasms and aftershocks which are spasms after sexual pleasure.

When an orgasm has been achieved through sex, you can measure theta waves. These are also said to cause the "running high" feeling of euphoria experienced sometimes by marathon runners. If theta waves are taken as a criterion, the entire brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that is 10 times stronger than when men climax.

So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm's strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman's orgasm was played through a man's brain, there's a danger that the shock to his system would kill him. That risk makes it impossible to experiment on a man at the moment. And men can never become women. But, it can be used the experience of people who have undergone a sex change (either a woman born with a man's brain or vice versa) to explain the pleasure women feel.

There is a very strong correlation between nerve transmitters called dopamine and pleasure. Arousal causes the pulse to rise, turns the face red and makes the eyes misty because of the effects of dopamine. There also appears to be a link between this and a woman's tendency to become prettier when she falls in love. If it becomes possible to measure dopamine, it may also become possible to measure a woman's pleasure.

Tags: orgasm, sex, women, woman, teens, romance