Clipmarks | Perkalicious11's 'advice' clips

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URL
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s
world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name
selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do
this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies
who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give
their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents’ where you can find the name of the agent
that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South
Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their
whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.

Tags: humour, internet, web, url

Famous "Quotes" on Sex

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 08:43:30 GMT

clipped by: Scattered_Fusion

Clip Source: www.2spare.com

My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading.

Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen

Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.

St. Augustine

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Steve Martin

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Rodney Dangerfield

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.

Lynn Lavner

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George Burns

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships

Sharon Stone

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Jack Nicholson

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.

Jerry Seinfeld

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

Tags: celebrity, entertainment, sex, humor, funny, quotes

Top Ten Worst Domain Names

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:48:21 GMT

clipped by: rotofade

Clip Source: easywebbers.com

Top ten worst domain names

Author: Simon

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church . Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe ? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

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Tags: domain name, top ten, buzzword, clever, comic, funny, humor, internet, language, pronunciation, satire, web, web 2.0

The Philosophy of Sex

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:42:40 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: A few of these have already been clipped...no pun intended.

Clip Source: moronland.net

The Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Tags: humour, battle of the sexes, funny, sex, men, women

These Signs Are Hilarious

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 20:31:54 GMT

clipped by: zlaw777

Clip Source: www.nirvani.net

The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/. It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away.

Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.

Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.

Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile

After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

Tags: bizarre, bizzare, humour, humor, picture, pictures, photo, pic, pics

The Dalai Lama's Recommendations for You

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 15:38:26 GMT

clipped by: smilesalad
clipper's remarks: Another list to put on the wall

Clip Source: www.progress.org

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs:

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Tags: advice, life, spiritual, dalai

Socrates and the Test of Three

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 17:32:51 GMT

clipped by: gingembre
clipper's remarks:

Clip Source: www.radiowavex.com

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Three?"

"That's right," Socrates continued "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my stu dent going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and left, ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.

Tags: rumors, socrates, advice, humour, humor, philosophy

Beautiful and immortal advice. A MUST read!

Fri, 25 May 2007 13:43:50 GMT

clipped by: fudzzz
clipper's remarks: Like the guy on the webpage this is linked to, I also found this letter among my dad's printed emails to me while I was away in university in another country. My dad has long departed since then, but every time I read these words Lincoln wrote to his son's teacher, they bring a tear to my eyes. Beautiful and sincere advice for anyone to follow.

Clip Source: vnicholas.wordpress.com

Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher

He will have to learn, I know,
that all men are not just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that
for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish Politician,
there is a dedicated leader…
Teach him for every enemy there is a friend,

Teach him, if you can,
the wonder of books…
But also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him
it is far honourable to fail
than to cheat…
Teach him to have faith
in his own ideas,
even if everyone tells him
they are wrong…
Teach him to be gentle
with gentle people,
and tough with the tough.

Teach him to sell his brawn
and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price-tag
on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears
to a howling mob
and to stand and fight
if he thinks he’s right.

This is a big order,
but see what you can do…
He is such a fine little fellow,
my son!

Tags: abraham lincoln, lincoln, wisdom, proverbs, teach, learn, advice, life, father, son

Witty Quotes

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 18:28:20 GMT

clipped by: rko2007
clipper's remarks: Some more can be found on the original site.

Clip Source: www.didyouknow.cd

Witty Quotes

Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.
- Winston Churchill

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
- George Bernard Shaw

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
- Slovenian proverb

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.
- Elias Schwartz

Everything you can imagine is real.
- Picasso

Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
- W. Edwards Deming

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
- Malcolm S. Forbes

Tags: quotes, famous, advice, life

Worlds 2nd richest man

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 16:24:15 GMT

clipped by: flyingsoulo

Clip Source: kajasmail.blogspot.com

Warren Buffet, The Second Richest Man In World

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:
He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
He has given his CEO's only two rules.

Rule number 1: do not lose any of your shareholder's money.
Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.

He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.

Amazing individual indeed.

Tags: rich, wealth, advice, success, warren buffet

Friendship: The Laws of Attraction

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 10:45:24 GMT

clipped by: Xeneri
clipper's remarks: Friendship: The Laws of Attraction
The conventional wisdom is that we choose friends because of who they are. But it turns out that we actually love them because of the way they support who we are.
By:Karen Karbo

Clip Source: www.psychologytoday.com

Built To Last: How To Stay Friends

From young adulthood onward, our notion of what makes a good friendship changes very little, but our capacity to maintain one does. It's a poignant reality; we know what it means to be and have friends, but after we graduate from college and go our separate ways—launching our careers, getting married, having children, getting divorced, caring for aging parents—we're often unable to muster the time and energy to maintain friendships we profess to value. Like anything else in life, if we want to remain friends with someone, it requires a little work. Simply put, we must show up.

According to Marquette University psychologist Debra Oswald, who has studied the nature and complexity of high school "best" friendships, there are four basic behaviors necessary to maintain the bond. And they hold true whether we're 17 or 70.

Communication facilitates the first two essential behaviors: self-disclosure and supportiveness, both necessary for intimacy. We must be willing to extend ourselves, to share our lives with our friends, to keep them abreast of what's going on with us. Likewise, we need to listen to them and offer support.

Interaction is the third essential in tending to a friendship. You've got to write, you've got to call, you've got to visit. Find the nearest Starbucks and take time to catch up. "The specific activity doesn't matter," says Oswald. "The important thing is to interact."

The last and most elusive behavior necessary for keeping friends is being positive. Social psychologists tout the necessity of self-disclosure, but that doesn't mean an unrestricted license to vent. At the end of the day, the intimacy that makes a friendship thrive must be an enjoyable one, for the more rewarding a friendship, the more we feel good about it, the more we're willing to expend the energy it takes to keep it alive.

Tags: friendship, friends, life, relationships, psychology, behavior, lifehacks, health, mind, advice

Words That Changed You - iVillage Top 10

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:28:56 GMT

clipped by: Xeneri
clipper's remarks: "Has anyone ever said something to you — a piece of advice, a word of comfort, a bit of inspiration — that you've just never forgotten?" From inspiring mantras to heartfelt expressions of empathy and encouragement, here are just a few of the amazing nuggets of wisdom iVillagers have taken to heart. They might change you too.

Clip Source: health.ivillage.com

Words That Changed You

"Wise choices often mean rough going." My uncle told me this last year when I was going through a difficult time, and he was absolutely correct: While I knew I'd made the best decision for myself, it didn't mean I had removed all obstacles. His words gave me hope and strength to continue.

I was at work one day feeling depressed, and a legal assistant I work with (she was a Polish refugee) looked at me and said, "The only one who is going to take care of you is you." It was an aha moment. I think I was waiting for someone to step in and help me when really, no one was able to — or going to.

"Let go or be dragged."

Advice from the iVillage boards: "Our feelings may not be entirely in our control, but our responses are our choice. You have to choose to be happy, choose to be the bigger person, choose not to let someone impact your life in a negative way."

"The only way out is through." It's a phrase that stuck in my mind throughout a bad breakup.

After my husband's death, a church acquaintance wrote me a letter to say that her husband died at the same young age and under nearly identical circumstances. She then finished with, "I cannot imagine what you are going through." That filled me with the most incredible relief and warmth. Obviously she'd gone through the same thing, obviously she must have shared some of my own feelings, but she had the grace not to presume what they were.

"Don't let people rent space in your head." It was an important realization for me at a time when I was really obsessing about my ex.

"If a man tells you he doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't know what he's got."

A quote that I have on my office wall and read daily: "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."

My mother's mantra: "If the problem is something you cannot change, then you must change your attitude toward it."

Tags: relationships, quotes, wellbeing, health, wellness, wisdom, inspiration, life, love

An old farmer's advice: very well said!

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 19:39:58 GMT

clipped by: mugofcoffee
clipper's remarks: excerpts! lot more is there to this!

Clip Source: www.libertyhigh56.net

An Old Farmer's Advice

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

Tags: wisdom, knowledge, age.

Pinch Your Nose and Lose Weight

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 19:36:18 GMT

clipped by: aliciaf
clipper's remarks: Quite interesting...and free.
And it seems like it might actually work.

Clip Source: www.thatsfit.com

Daily Fit Tip: Pinch your nose and lose weight

I just read in Men's Health magazine that if you pinch your nostrils for 10 seconds, you'll curb your cravings. Since your stomach signals hunger and your brain signals 'cravings' ... this ancient Chinese acupressure point will help you pass on the doughnuts. In all of my years teaching fitness I've never heard such a thing, but you never know. Right? At least this strategy doesn't cost anything.

I personally imagine that the act of pinching, not picking, my nose for 10 seconds on purpose would simply distract me from anything else in the world I may have been focusing on, including food. So maybe the practice will work, because it seems so silly. My only non-Chinese or ancient advice is to do it with a tissue.

Tags: health, fitness, food