Clipmarks | Malhablada's clips

Hilarious: Using a Chinese Squat Toilet

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 17:48:03 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada
clipper's remarks: LOL! Do yourself a favor and go read the rest. Very, very funny.

Rule One: Exhaust all other possibilities.

If you are truly in need and condemned to use the squat toilet, comfort yourself with the knowledge that you are several thousand miles from friends and family. No one has to know.

Proceed as follows:

Most stalls do not have toilet paper. This is the best time to realize this. Either take paper from the general dispenser in the bathroom area or preferably bring your own as it will be made of tissue and not plywood carpaccio.

Approach the squat toilet apprehensively and make sure it's not covered in stool. If it is covered in stool, choose another stall. If another stall is not available, accept the cards that have been dealt you. This is a good time to come up with a title for your experience such as My Great B.M. Adventure or Disgusticon One.

Tags: humor

Actor/Director Vincent Gallo Renting Self Out For Sex

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:07:27 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada
clipper's remarks: "Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from The Brown Bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me..."

This is NOT a joke. Unfortunately.

Wow. The sheer hubris of this man. It's gag-inducing. If I had the money, I think I'd buy him just to sit him down and tell him what a pretentious dickhole he is.

Clip Source: vgmerchandise.com

I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose. However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend that will have them second-guessing.

Tags: wtf

Neanderthals Were Cannibals, Study Confirms

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 00:26:00 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada
clipper's remarks: There's more at the page.

Clip Source: news.yahoo.com

Neanderthals suffered periods of starvation and may have supplemented their diet through cannibalism, according to a study of remains from northwest Spain.

Paleobiologists studied samples from eight 43,000-year-old Neanderthal skeletons excavated from an underground cave in El Sidrón, Spain since 2000. The study sheds light on how Neanderthals lived before the arrival of modern humans in Europe.

Researchers found cut marks and evidence that bones had been torn apart, which they say could indicate cannibalism.

"There is strong evidence suggesting that these Neanderthals were eaten," said the study's lead author, Antonio Rosas of the Museo Nacional de Ciencias Naturales in Madrid. "That is, long bones and the skull were broken for extraction of the marrow, [which] is very nutritious."

According to Rosas, there is evidence of cannibalism in Neanderthal remains from other European sites.

"I would say this practice… was general among Neanderthal populations," he said.

Tags: science, history

Christmas Jesus Dress Up!

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 12:35:01 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada
clipper's remarks: I can't seem to stop doing this. I do believe the Grinch costume is my favorite. Do yourself a favor and bookmark the site, the outfits and accessories change depending on the season.

NOTE: Go to the page, don't follow the link in the clip. The link in the clip is to buy, if you go the page, you can play online for free.

Clip Source: www.jesusdressup.com

Click here to see the greatest stocking stuffer ever invented!
Now it's time for Christmas Jesus Dress Up! Now you can Dress up Jesus in His holiday best by dragging the items to him with your mouse. They'll snap right into place! Then you can start over again by clicking the RESET button. You can do it all Christmas day... FOR FREE! Then pick your favorite outfit, print it , cut it out and proudly display it this holiday for friends and family to admire and cherish.
© 2006 Normal Bob Smith New York

Tags: humor

The Cranky Shopper's Holiday Gift Guide

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 22:25:41 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada
clipper's remarks: Good ideas for the gift-giving challenged, like me.

Clip Source: www.salon.com

Nothing puts the bug into "bah, humbug!" more than an impossible shopping challenge. He has everything. She doesn't like anything. They want nothing ... except to fill you with the searing, white-hot frustration of a thousand yule logs. Tired of these hateful want-nothings taking the Michelle Kwan out of your Kwanzaa? Sick of stubbing your mistletoe chasing after these dreidel-dodgers? Check out our profiles of the toughest people to buy for and use our online gift suggestions, chosen to fit every budget. Or give a more personal gift, with your own private coupon (click on the doggy below). And do it all as you sit blessedly alone sipping an eggnog, warmed by the toasty glow of your computer and far from the maddening crowds. How's that for comfort and joy?

Tags: shopping, holiday

Free File Format Conversion

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 20:12:38 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada
clipper's remarks: No need to download any software. Excellent resource to convert quickly between common picture, music, and document files.

Have used it several times myself, so far, no spam has been sent to my email address because of this site.

Clip Source: www.zamzar.com

Step 1

Select the files to convert
(up to 100MB in size):

Step 2

Choose the format to convert to:

Step 3

Enter your email address to receive converted files:

Step 4

Convert (by clicking you agree to our Terms of Service)

Tags: programs, convert, file formats

A Morality Test

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 02:13:55 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada

Clip Source: www.peskylittlepagan.com

From an e-mail...

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, and spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

-------------------------

THE SITUATION

You are in New Orleans, There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. You are a photo journalist working for a major newspaper and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, and disappearing under the water.

===============================================

THE TEST

Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's the President, George W. Bush. At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options- you can save the life of the President, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most famous men.

===============================================

THE QUESTION

Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.......

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

Tags: humor, politics

Could you really dig a hole to china?

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 23:42:27 GMT

clipped by: Malhablada
clipper's remarks: Very interesting! You'll have to go to the page; it wouldn't let me clip it.

I ended up in the middle of the Indian Ocean, nowhere near China.

Clip Source: www.ubasics.com

Countless children (and adults) have wondered where they would end up if they started digging straight down (ignoring the material and methods). Now we have the answer! Most of the planet is covered in water, so most diggers will dig into some ocean or another. What little land there is is generally not opposite other land. Some of South America and Asia, for instance, are opposite each other, but most Americans will swim in the Indian Ocean.

Drag the map and the other map will show you where you end up. If you double click somewhere on the map it'll zoom in to where you double-clicked.

Tags: geography, childhood legends, maps