Clipmarks | JediKnut's 'women' clips

If Women Controlled the World...Funny photos!

Thu, 31 May 2007 14:30:18 GMT

clipped by: rcthor_vendors

Clip Source: yoke.cc

If Women Controlled
the World...

Tags: funny, photos

Famous "Quotes" on Sex

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 08:43:30 GMT

clipped by: Scattered_Fusion

Clip Source: www.2spare.com

My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading.

Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen

Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.

St. Augustine

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Steve Martin

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Rodney Dangerfield

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.

Lynn Lavner

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George Burns

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships

Sharon Stone

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Jack Nicholson

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.

Jerry Seinfeld

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

Tags: celebrity, entertainment, sex, humor, funny, quotes

The Philosophy of Sex

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:42:40 GMT

clipped by: coconutshell
clipper's remarks: A few of these have already been clipped...no pun intended.

Clip Source: moronland.net

The Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Tags: humour, battle of the sexes, funny, sex, men, women

Difference between Men and Women

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:07:29 GMT

clipped by: zohaib
clipper's remarks: all true !!!

Clip Source: www.koolstuffs.net

Difference between Men and Women

Published October 15, 2006 by Zohaib

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
want

A woman worries about the future until she gets
a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets
a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him
a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

No sense two people remembering the same thing

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new argument.

Filed under Humor

Water Art »
« Famous Quotes on Marriage

Tags: men, women, gender, sex

A woman without her man is nothing.

Tue, 01 May 2007 21:50:24 GMT

clipped by: thegreatone22254

Clip Source: www.thehumorarchives.com

Tags: funny, women, men

Facts you didn't know about sex

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 15:34:05 GMT

clipped by: kwonsu

Clip Source: peety-passion.com

According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches.

The most common fantasy is oral sex.

8% of us have regular anal sex.

60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.

Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.

In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed.

Men say the average erect penis is 10″. Women say it’s 4″.

A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

56% of men have had sex at work.

Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love
an average of three times a night, every night, until their
thirties, when the weekly average drops to a mere 14.

1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair.

62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs.

29% of us are virgins when we marry.

58% like dirty talk during sex.

Tags: sex, life, medicine, helath, people

15 Things you don't know about your Penis!

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 23:01:18 GMT

clipped by: usmc6531

Clip Source: health.msn.com

4. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really interested in equality, they'd make sure we have four orgasms for every one of theirs.

5. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That's Greek for "amazing swimmer with large penis." Which officially supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever.

7. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It's estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.

10. German researchers say the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds, yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes, 30 seconds. Are we that good or that bad?

12. The penis that's been enjoyed by the most women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga, who supposedly deflowered 37,800 women between the years 1770 and 1784 — that's about seven virgins a day. Go ahead, say it: It's good to be king.

13. Better-looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average, and lousy sperm — and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers most often.

14. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.

15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.

Tags: penis, humor, funny, health

If Women Ruled The World.

Sat, 12 May 2007 02:05:17 GMT

clipped by: JustShivs

Clip Source: humour.200ok.com.au

If women ruled the world...

Tags: world, ruled

Punctuation.

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 05:52:55 GMT

clipped by: JustShivs

Clip Source: funny.com

Tags: women, man, nothing

Crying Over Spilled Semen

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:26:40 GMT

clipped by: NightInhales

Clip Source: psychologytoday.com

The finding that women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active, leads one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful—and potentially addictive—mood-altering chemicals.

Study author Gordon G. Gallup, Ph.D., a psychologist at the State University of New York in Albany, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms became increasingly depressed as more time elapsed since their last sexual encounter. There was no such correlation for women whose partners regularly used condoms.

Semen contains hormones including testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins, and some of these are absorbed through the walls of the vagina and are known to elevate mood.

Tags: semen, depression, condoms

Evolution’s Secret Weapon: Grandma

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 04:32:36 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks:

Women are not being helped along by others. The flow of help is going into the other direction.

Is there a woman alive, who did not know this already?

Clip Source: well.blogs.nytimes.com

Evolution’s Secret Weapon: Grandma

Are grandmothers an evolutionary necessity?

In the animal world, females often don’t live much past their reproductive years. But in our world, women live into their 80s and beyond — a fact that may be explained, in part, by evolutionary forces.

research suggests that far from being a burden to societies, grandmothers have played an important role in the evolution of human longevity. Studies of modern hunter-gatherers in Tanzania, Venezuela and Eastern Paraguay — societies that offer insights into how humans evolved — consistently show that Grandma is doing much of the work.

It’s the women over 40 who are carrying the heavy loads

The research is the basis for the grandmother hypothesis that may help explain why menopause occurs. The basic idea is that an end to a woman’s reproductive years allows her to channel her energy and resources into caring for her children and grandchildren, thereby providing her descendants with a survival advantage.

Tags: women, evolution, work, longevity, menopause, survival

Parasite "Turns Women into Sex Kittens"

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 18:31:58 GMT

clipped by: nohobot
clipper's remarks: The sexy side of parasitism? (Shudder!)

Clip Source: www.news.com.au

A COMMON parasite can increase a women's attractiveness to the opposite sex but also make men more stupid, an Australian researcher says.

Human infection generally occurs when people eat raw or undercooked meat that has cysts containing the parasite, or accidentally ingest some of the parasite's eggs excreted by an infected cat.

About 40 per cent of the world's population is infected with Toxoplasma gondii, including about eight million Australians.

Until recently it was thought to be an insignificant disease in healthy people, Sydney University of Technology infectious disease researcher Nicky Boulter said, but new research has revealed its mind-altering properties.

"Infected men have lower IQs, achieve a lower level of education and have shorter attention spans. They are also more likely to break rules and take risks, be more independent, more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose, and are deemed less attractive to women.

"On the other hand, infected women tend to be more outgoing, friendly, more promiscuous, and are considered more attractive to men compared with non-infected controls.

"In short, it can make men behave like alley cats and women behave like sex kittens''.

The mice were more likely to take risks that increased their chance of being eaten by cats, which would allow the parasite to continue its life cycle.

Rodents treated with drugs that killed the parasites reversed their behaviour, Dr Boulter said.

Another study showed people who were infected but not showing symptoms were 2.7 times more likely than uninfected people to be involved in a car accident as a driver or pedestrian, while other research has linked the parasite to higher incidences of schizophrenia.

Tags: science, research, parasite, australia, cat, cats, mice, mouse, sexuality, sex, personality, men, women

Female Orgasm is Deadly for Men

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 19:07:57 GMT

clipped by: Homonculus
clipper's remarks: When it comes to the difference between male and female sexuality, scientist Kunio Kitamura discovered that female orgasm is 10 times stronger than man.

Clip Source: notelay.com

Female sexual arousal and orgasm is a complex process involving the entire woman, mind and body. The human mind receives in sexual stimuli from the body, processes it, and based on past learning and experience causes the body to respond to it.

Like a male orgasm, a female orgasm is usually accompanied with a very physical reaction, such as hot flushes, uncontrollable spasms and aftershocks which are spasms after sexual pleasure.

When an orgasm has been achieved through sex, you can measure theta waves. These are also said to cause the "running high" feeling of euphoria experienced sometimes by marathon runners. If theta waves are taken as a criterion, the entire brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that is 10 times stronger than when men climax.

So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm's strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman's orgasm was played through a man's brain, there's a danger that the shock to his system would kill him. That risk makes it impossible to experiment on a man at the moment. And men can never become women. But, it can be used the experience of people who have undergone a sex change (either a woman born with a man's brain or vice versa) to explain the pleasure women feel.

There is a very strong correlation between nerve transmitters called dopamine and pleasure. Arousal causes the pulse to rise, turns the face red and makes the eyes misty because of the effects of dopamine. There also appears to be a link between this and a woman's tendency to become prettier when she falls in love. If it becomes possible to measure dopamine, it may also become possible to measure a woman's pleasure.

Tags: orgasm, sex, women, woman, teens, romance

The International Rules of Manhood

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 17:14:44 GMT

clipped by: haraya
clipper's remarks: Haha, I love numbers 17, 14, and 13. More at the source.

Clip Source: www.babalublog.com

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

Tags: humor, men, list, entertainment, life, man, boys, gender, funny, beer, sports, women, cars, rules, fun

Aborted "Fetus" Speaks Out

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:26:48 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

• Thirty years ago, Gianna Jessen's mother had an abortion when seven-and-a-half months pregnant.

The abortion failed and, 18 hours later, Gianna (pictured) was born alive.

She suffered cerebral palsy as a result of the botched abortion, yet has defied doctors' predictions that she would never walk.

In fact she has run a marathon, is an accomplished singer and writer and travels the world to campaign against abortion.

Her mother was 17 when she decided to have the abortion. Weighing 2lbs when she was born, she spent several months in hospital fighting for her life, before being placed in a foster home.

Her cerebral palsy, which was caused by her brain being starved of oxygen during the abortion, was diagnosed at 17 months old. Doctors said she would never be able to crawl or even sit-up unaided, much less stand or walk.

She said: "If abortion is about women's rights, then what were my rights?

Tags: science, health, abortion, pregnancy, women