Clipmarks | JediKnut's 'concert' clips

The Best of Church Humor

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 08:06:46 GMT

clipped by: abramsv
clipper's remarks: Church Signs & Bulletin Bloopers

Clip Source: thrillingwonder.blogspot.com

Church Signs & Bulletin Bloopers

Church CAN be hilarious!

CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS:

When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The church office will be closed until opening. It will remain closed after opening. It will reopen Monday.

Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.

Sermon Blooper: "Let everything that hath breasts praise the Lord!"

For those who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery downstairs.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a great chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They maybe seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge----Up Yours."

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Bulletin of a church with a rather elderly congregation: "Mr Brookes will be in the church foyer at the end of today's service. Transport can be provided if required."

Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.

Church sign: The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

Tags: humour, funny

Barack Obama on Iraq - 2002

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 18:14:33 GMT

clipped by: jmk432
clipper's remarks: I love this quote! And it was in 2002!

Clip Source: en.wikisource.org

Barack Obama's Iraq Speech

Delivered on 26 October 2002.

That’s what I’m opposed to. A dumb war. A rash war. A war based not on reason but on passion, not on principle but on politics.

Now let me be clear – I suffer no illusions about Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal man. A ruthless man. A man who butchers his own people to secure his own power. He has repeatedly defied UN resolutions, thwarted UN inspection teams, developed chemical and biological weapons, and coveted nuclear capacity.

He’s a bad guy. The world, and the Iraqi people, would be better off without him.

But I also know that Saddam poses no imminent and direct threat to the United States, or to his neighbors, that the Iraqi economy is in shambles, that the Iraqi military a fraction of its former strength, and that in concert with the international community he can be contained until, in the way of all petty dictators, he falls away into the dustbin of history.

I know that even a successful war against Iraq will require a US occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the middle east, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda.

I am not opposed to all wars. I’m opposed to dumb wars.

Tags: barack, obama, iraq

Rosslyn Chapel's "secret code" cracked

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 16:39:49 GMT

clipped by: invictus

Clip Source: news.bbc.co.uk

Team cracks chapel's music 'code'

Rosslyn Chapel was built in the 15th Century

A father and son team from Edinburgh think they have found a secret piece of music hidden in carvings at a famous medieval chapel in Midlothian.

Stuart Mitchell, 41 and his father Tommy, 75, said they had deciphered a musical code locked in the stones of Rosslyn Chapel for more than 500 years.

They will perform the music in May at a concert in the 15th Century chapel.

Visitor numbers to the chapel have increased rapidly since it featured in Dan Brown's novel The Da Vinci Code.

Stuart Mitchell discovered a series of figures which he calls an "orchestra of angels" at the base of elaborate arches round the altar, with each angel holding a musical instrument.

He worked with his father to decipher the patterns on cubes which jut out from the arches.

Tommy Mitchell said the markings concealed a tune which they were determined to crack.

Tags: rosslyn chapel, edinburgh, music, secret code, archaeology

50 Greatest Cartoons of all times

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 14:45:52 GMT

clipped by: Mohir

Clip Source: cityrag.blogs.com

50 Greatest Cartoons
Found a cool list of The 50 Greatest Cartoons as voted on by the animation industry in 1994. As a holiday present to our readers we've put together a link to an online video for each one below! (we found a video for all but 6.) So many wonderful, funny and trippy cartoons spanning the decades (including some that were banned.) Enjoy!

1. What's Opera, Doc? (1957)
2. Duck Amuck (1953)
3. The Band Concert (1935)
4. Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century (1953)
5. One Froggy Evening (1956)
6. Gertie the Dinosaur (1914)
7. Red Hot Riding Hood (1943)
8. Porky in Wackyland (1938)
9. Gerald McBoing-Boing (1951)
10. King Size Canary (1947)
11. Three Little Pigs (1933)
12. Rabbit of Seville (1950)
13. Steamboat Willie (1928)
14. The Old Mill (1937)
15. Bad Luck Blackie (1949)
16. The Great Piggy Bank Robbery (1946)
17. Popeye the Sailor Meets Sinbad the Sailor (1936)
18. The Skeleton Dance (1929)
19. Snow White (1933)
20. Minnie the Moocher (1932)
21. Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs (1943)
22. Der Fuehrer's Face (1943)
23. Little Rural Riding Hood (1949)
24. The Tell-Tale Heart (1953)
25. The Big Snit (1985)
26. Brave Little Tailor (1938)
27. Clock Cleaners (1937)
28. Northwest Hounded Police (1946)
29. Toot, Whistle, Plunk and Boom (1953)
30. Rabbit Seasoning (1952)
31. The Scarlet Pumpernickel (1950)
32. The Cat Came Back (1988)
33. Superman (1941)
34. You Ought to Be in Pictures (1940)
35. Ali Baba Bunny (1957)
36. Feed the Kitty (1952)
37. Bimbo's Initiation (1931)
38. Bambi Meets Godzilla (1969)
39. Little Red Riding Rabbit (1941)
40. Peace on Earth (1939)
41. Rooty Toot Toot (1952)
42. The Cat Concerto (1947)
43. The Barber of Seville (1944)
44. The Man Who Planted Trees (1987)
45. Book Revue (1946)
46. Quasi at the Quackadero (1975)
47. Corny Concerto (1943)
48. The Unicorn in the Garden (1953)
49. The Dover Boys (1942)
50. Felix in Hollywood (1923)

More info on each cartoon can be found here - The 50 Greatest Cartoons

Tags: movies, cartoon

A brutal anti-Rumsfeld cartoon -- neocons, don't look

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 03:41:43 GMT

clipped by: enbar
clipper's remarks: Ouch. Ouch.

Clip Source: www.harpers.org

A Cartoon

Posted on Friday, November 10, 2006. By Mr. Fish.

Sources

Click on the cartoon to zoom in and out.

This is A Cartoon, a cartoon by Mr. Fish, published Friday, November 10, 2006. It is part of The Cartoons of Mr. Fish: a Selection, which is part of Features, which is part of Harpers.org.

Written By
Fish, Mr.

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Tags: rumsfeld

Can Sound Induce Orgasm?

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 02:34:35 GMT

clipped by: debbyski

Clip Source: www.totse.com

Can sound directly induce orgasm?

There, I've said it. Flame away if you please, but it's a question that won't go away. Ten years ago, Craig Huxley gave a concert featuring, among other things, a homemade instrument called the Blaster Beam. The Beam can be heard on the soundtrack to STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (Vger's signature sound effect) and on several New Age albums. It's an amazing instrument, especially when amplified to high levels. The rumor circulating around after the concert was that when Huxley played the Beam, there were women in the audience falling out of their chairs with BIG smiles on their faces. Over a dozen reported having intensely sexual feelings from the Beam sound, up to and including orgasm.

Tags: i, have, a, one, track, mind

Sea Organ - musical instrument played by the sea

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 17:07:48 GMT

clipped by: cpltaiji
clipper's remarks: Cool!

Clip Source: www.oddmusic.com

The Sea Organ (morske orgulje) is is a natural musical instrument, seventy meters long with thirty-five organ pipes built under the concrete. The musical pipes are located so that the sea water and wind movements produce musical sounds that are heard by passers by so that it achieves a communication with nature and promotes a unity of architecture and environment. As sea forces and energies are unpredictable in terms of tides and winds, this organ offers never-ending concert of numerous musical variations in which the performer is nature itself.

Air Holes along the top row of steps let the Sea Organ breathe in air to be transformed into musical sounds as the next wave plays its song. Below, the sound apertures are visible along the center of the walkway.

Tags: music, art, bizzare

Britain Pulls Plug on Al Gore

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 20:32:30 GMT

clipped by: cniq_cniq
clipper's remarks: Interesting. I would not have guessed that this impact would have been so great. I would have assumed that total household consumption -- and this would have only involved the portion of households watching the concert -- was outsized by consumption of other users. Are our grids that fragile?

Clip Source: women.timesonline.co.uk

IT WAS intended to be the symbolic gesture at a global series of rock concerts next month to alert people to climate change. Al Gore, the former US presidential candidate turned climate doomsayer, had wanted a massive switch-off of lights by television audiences, but the National Grid has vetoed the idea.

The inconvenient truth, it says, is that the power surge when people switched their lights back on could cause disruptions in supply and even endanger hospital patients on life support machines.

It would also have given Britain its biggest blackout since the blitz and the miners’ strikes of the 1970s – and encapsulated the message of the urgency to save energy.

However, it has had to be shelved after the keepers of Britain’s power supply said no. “We are in favour of sustained energy efficiency as opposed to people just doing it very suddenly as a stunt,” said a spokesman for the National Grid.

Tags: gore, global warming, climate change, electricity, england

Experts unveil 'cloak of silence'

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:08:19 GMT

clipped by: arifsali

Clip Source: news.bbc.co.uk

Being woken in the dead of night by noisy neighbours blasting out music could soon be a thing of the past.

Scientists have shown off the blueprint for an "acoustic cloak", which could make objects impervious to sound waves.

The technology, outlined in the New Journal of Physics, could be used to build sound-proof homes, advanced concert halls or stealth warships.

Scientists have previously demonstrated devices that cloak objects from microwaves, making them "invisible".

"The mathematics behind cloaking has been known for several years," said Professor John Pendry of Imperial College London, UK, an expert in cloaking.

"What hasn't been available for sound is the sort of materials you need to build a cloak out of."

The Spanish team who conducted the new work believe the key to a practical device are so-called "sonic crystals".

These artificial composites - also known as "meta-materials" - can be engineered to produce specific acoustical effects.

Tags: sound, science

Free Speech Ain't Free

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 12:29:17 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: "Everybody gets to say their piece. That's the deal. Even if half the world considers that "piece" total BS. Face it, half of what WE believe usually turns out to be total BS. Beliefs have this nagging tendency to mutate over time. It wasn't long ago they burned people as witches for not thinking the world was flat. Wasn't it Cardinal Richelieu who said treason is just a matter of dates?"

Clip Source: mwcnews.net

Free speech ain't free

Oh wait a minute. yeah, it is.

time to have us a little chat about free speech.

Not restricted free speech.Not partial free speech. Not pseudo- semi- counterfeit-limited-free speech. Not free speech on Wednesdays between two and three pm EDT.

Not free speech zones and not free speech reserved for the people we like and kept from the ones we don't. No, my friends, I'm talking about your total, unfettered, full throated, in your face, front row death metal rock concert, spitting in the wind, 24/ 7, every square inch of your big white furry butt, gushing like runoff from a rain gutter off a cantilevered roof during a Force Five hurricane in the tropics free speech.

Doesn't matter out of which holes the free speech is coming from. The mouths of an opposition politico or the biggest little two bit dictator in the world or the personification of Lucifer himself replete with red horns and forked tail and cloven hooves. But let's leave the Vice President out of this one.

Tags: free speech

Led Zeppelin to Make Its Songs Available Digitally

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:02:44 GMT

clipped by: Mohir

Clip Source: www.nytimes.com

Led Zeppelin to Make Its Songs Available Digitally

It’s been a long time, but Led Zeppelin, one of the last superstar acts to refrain from selling its music online, is finally offering its catalog to digital-music fans.

The shift by Led Zeppelin, whose reunion concert in London next month has already incited a frenzy for tickets, highlights the clout of digital sales in the music market as mass merchants reduce the shelf space devoted to compact discs. Under a series of new agreements expected to be announced today, the band will make its songs available first as ringtones and similar mobile features starting this week in an exclusive deal with Verizon Wireless. Digital downloads of songs from the band’s eight studio albums and other recordings are expected to be available through Verizon and digital-music services, including iTunes, on Nov. 13.

Tags: music, led zeppelin, internet, digital music

A building shaped like Godzilla

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:10:08 GMT

clipped by: Catbunny
clipper's remarks: I thought this was rather funny in a silly sort of way.

Clip Source: www.ironicsans.com

The Godzilla Building - Artist’s RenditionThe people of Tokyo should construct a giant building shaped like Godzilla. Imagine what it would do to the city’s skyline, and to the tourism industry. People would come from all over to take pictures. His eyes could flash red so airplanes don’t hit him. There could be an observatory in his mouth so people could look out over Tokyo. One of his arms could house a bar, and the other arm a restaurant. They could serve drinks called Mothra Martinis and dishes like Grilled Gamera Steaks, with a side of Mashed Potatoes.

The Godzilla Building - Artist’s RenditionConversations could take place like this one (translated from Japanese):

“Hey, I just got a new job!”

“Oh, really? Where do you work?”

“You know the Godzilla Building? I’m just a couple blocks South of there.”

Or maybe it could be partially residential. And then people could talk about that famous artist who used to live in the Godzilla Building in the apartment right above Godzilla’s left nipple. And then they could argue over whether or not Godzilla even has nipples.

The Godzilla Building - Artist’s RenditionMonster Movie conventions could be held in the building’s grand ballroom. A concert hall could be built between his legs. The Tokyo Philharmonic could call it their home. Season Ticket holders could get discounts at the Godzilla Gift Shop. There could even be a park at the bottom of the building, with Godzilla’s tail circling around it. They would call it Godzilla Park, naturally. And it could have a fountain in the shape of his footprint.

Idea: A building shaped like Godzilla

December 04, 2006

Tags: godzilla, funny

Statue of 'Elvis' chiselled 1800 years before his birth

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:16:05 GMT

clipped by: amgumen

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

this carving of Elvis Presley was created around 1800 years before the King of Rock and Roll first warbled his first note.

The amazing likeness has come to light as part of a sale of ancient antiques by the auction house Bonhams.

The Roman Elvis is in fact a genuine marble acroterion - a kind of architectural ornament often found for decoration on the corners of a sarcophagus, a stone tomb or burial chamber.

The 'Elvis’ sculpture is 2nd Century AD and is estimated to make £25,000 to £30,000.

The real thing: Elvis in concert in 1968

Weirdest musical scores - play them at your own risk

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 07:59:03 GMT

clipped by: Torley
clipper's remarks: My wife got these from a friend. They are remarkable treasures. I'd like to hear a concert performance of any or all of these!

Clip Source: thrillingwonder.blogspot.com

Tags: weirdest, musical, scores, -, play, them, at, your, own, risk

Get Out of Your Own Way

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:15:27 GMT

clipped by: Mohir
clipper's remarks: In ways we are only beginning to understand, the synapses and neurons in the human nervous system work in concert to perceive the world around them, to learn from their perceptions, to remember important experiences, to plan ahead, and to decide and act on incomplete information. In a rudimentary way, they predetermine our choices.

Clip Source: online.wsj.com

Studies Show the Value of Not Overthinking a Decis

Fishing in the stream of consciousness, researchers now can detect our intentions and predict our choices before we are aware of them ourselves. The brain, they have found, appears to make up its mind 10 seconds before we become conscious of a decision -- an eternity at the speed of thought.

Their findings challenge conventional notions of choice.

"We think our decisions are conscious," said neuroscientist John-Dylan Haynes at the Bernstein Center for Computational Neuroscience in Berlin, who is pioneering this research. "But these data show that consciousness is just the tip of the iceberg. This doesn't rule out free will, but it does make it implausible."

Through a series of intriguing experiments, scientists

have analyzed the distinctive cerebral activity that foreshadows our choices. They have tracked telltale waves of change through the cells that orchestrate our memory, language, reason and self-awareness.

Tags: brain, choise, consciousness