Clipmarks | CrazyRedHead's 'idiots' clips

Bad Jokes = Hazardous to your Health

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:10:56 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: "The chimney joke made it into 207 conversations. An astonishing 44 percent of the reactions were classified as "impolite," intended to deeply embarrass the joke teller."

Clip Source: www.komonews.com

There's a reason comedians call it "dying on stage."

Research by a Washington State University linguist found that people who tell bad jokes often endure an astonishing outpouring of hostility from the listeners.

"These were basically attacks intended to result in the social exclusion or humiliation of the speaker, punctuated on occasion with profanity, a nasty glare or even a solid punch to the arm,"

We're not talking about jokes that contain offensive material, or the type of slurs unleashed by former "Seinfeld" star Michael Richards. The joke that Bell used in her research was:

"What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

"Nothing, chimneys can't talk."

The responses to this childish riddle included insults, glares, silence or even blows.

Talk about a tough crowd.

There are several reasons for the strong responses.

First, such canned humor often disrupts the natural flow of conversation.

jokes that fail to deliver humor are a violation of a social contract

Tags: humor, entertainment, idiots

The Worst Comedians of All Time

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:29:59 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Carlos Mencia -
If this is what comedy is going to be like when Mexico takes over America, then we're voting for anyone who promises to put a 50-foot barbed-wire electric fence from Texas to California—and then another one around our TV.

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Sinbad

We're not sure what we hate most about Sinbad. Is it the neon pants, the annoying dangly earring, the oversized Reeboks, or the fact that he doesn't drink? Oh, wait, now we know. It's the shitty jokes that he always tells.

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Margaret Cho

'Me rikey flied lice.'

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Whoopi Goldberg

We don't like her because we like "comedy."

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Yakov Smirnoff

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Louie Anderson

Being fat is one thing, but being fat and pathetic is just sad.

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Sandra Bernhard

You're not attractive, and that makes you angry.

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Paula Poundstone

Remember that time Paula Poundstone was busted for getting shitfaced and driving her kids to an ice cream parlor? That's by far the funniest thing she's ever done.

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Gallagher/Gallagher II

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Kathy Griffin

Is she a gay dude? We're asking for serious.

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Judy Tenuta

We think it's fair to call Judy Tenuta an organ grinder, not because of her acumen with an accordian, but for her ability to shred our insides with her shrill voice and pathetically schticky act.

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Christopher Titus

Clip Source: www.maxim.com

Carlos Mencia

Tags: humor, comedy, entertainment, idiots

Buttock-clenching at the bus stop

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:43:41 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Tory MP Philip Davies lashed out at the move. He asked: ‘Is this April 1st? The Government is virtually bankrupt and yet it is spending its last few pounds encouraging people to do Pilates at bus stops.

‘It is the nanny state gone completely mad and a shocking waste of taxpayers’ money.’

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

A bizarre Government-funded campaign is being launched to encourage people to exercise while they’re waiting for a bus.

According to the campaign’s organisers, those minutes spent at the bus stop watching the traffic go by could be spent more usefully – by standing on one leg, pointing your toes or clenching your buttocks.

But the latest attempt to get Britain fit has been slammed by an MP as ‘a shocking waste of taxpayers’ money’.

And one angry passenger said last night: ‘Fares are ridiculously high as it is. So why don’t they use the money they’re spending on this nonsense to cut the cost of bus travel?’

Leaflets and posters setting out six Pilates-style exercise moves to do at the bus stop are being distributed to passengers travelling on buses between Blackburn and Manchester.

Organisers claim it will help people with busy lives to fit exercise into their day and avoid health problems such as heart disease and obesity.

Tags: politics, humour, humor, weird, idiots

Weird Gadgets from the 1920's

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:31:58 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

TOE SOCKS

These pre-shrunk 'To Sox' were designed to act as toe protectors. Produced during World War II, it was claimed that they could reduce hosiery costs by up to 80 per cent. They were designed to be worn over the big toes, to protect socks from wear.

LIGHT SPECTACLES

Invented in the U.S. in the 1930s, these specs were adorned with two small, battery-powered lights, with a long wire trailing beneath. The experience was marred only by the likelihood of electrocution when it rained.

MOUSTACHE PROTECTOR

designed with a hole for the mustachioed man to sip through.

FINGER STRETCHER FOR PIANISTS

Developed in America in 1910 to help pianists hit the sprawling notes demanded by the likes of Stravinsky and Debussy. Careful use was required: it is thought the composer Schumann destroyed his hands using an early version.

PAGE TURNER

CLOCKWORK TEASMADE

AN EARLY LAVATORY

PEEP SHOW

CIGARETTE HOLDER

PISTOL PURSE

a tiny machine complete with its own map that would tell motorists which way to go.

Tags: weird, funny, bizarre, humour, idiots

Sprinkler Rainbow Conspiracy

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:50:28 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: the dumb hurts my head.........

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

LMFAO! Move away from the sprinkler, lady. Move away before someone gets hurt. Beware the toxic rainbow.

I do suspect that those who see Mary in the door to their bathroom, or believe Christ appeared to them as a potato chip are a few nuggets short of a happy meal.

what is oozing out of her?!

Apparently, science was her worst subject.

HOW can you be that stupid as to not know how and why rainbows 'appear' but, figure out how to make a video and post it on the internet? what a moron. She probably sees Jesus in peices of toast too.

"Everywhere we look, the visible spectrum is rainbows..." Duh. Somebody help this lady to the Freak-Out Tent, she's taken the brown acid.

Tags: idiots, entertainment, entertaining idiots, dumb, dumbness, dumbassness

Expensive Items for The Rich

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:25:15 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

1,001 horsepower Bugatti Veyron

over $1 million,

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

Victoria's Secret Hearts on Fire Diamond Fantasy Bra adorned with more than 2,000 flawless, round-cut diamonds set in white gold is valued at $6.5 million.

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

$10,000 for a box of chocolates

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

38-carat diamond

$7.1 million

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

14.79 carat diamond ring

982,000 to $1.4 million

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

$5,000 hamburger

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

$20,000 dinner

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

25 perfectly matched, perfectly round White South Sea pearls

$1.6 million.

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

$3.3 million

the dagger once belonged to the Mogul emperor Shah Jahan, who built the Taj Mahal.

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

The iDiamond iPod and accompanying earplugs are made of solid 18 karat white and pink gold and encrusted with 430 diamonds.

$40,000

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

101.27 carats

$6 million

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

The 18-karat white gold-jeweled car is valued at $140,000 and is encrusted with 2,700 diamonds

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

Scrabble board encrusted with more than 30,000 Swarovski crystals

$20,000

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

'The Tales of Beedle the Bard

$3,985,410

Clip Source: abcnews.go.com

Marie Antoinette's pearl necklace

$810,000

Tags: wealth, money, entertainment, idiots

Dumb Criminals

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 03:58:38 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Dog Vomit Chain of Custody Questioned

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Attention Shoppers! Free Balls Now Being Offered In Aisle 6!

Antonio Casique-Gasco allegedly stripped naked in the women's bathroom of the On The Go store in Palmetto, FL.

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Paramedic Helps Herself to Patient's Purse

Forte was caught on camera, wearing an EMS shirt, using the woman's stolen cards

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Man Released From Jail Gets Naked; Arrested

Apparently, Merit thought the clothes the jail issued him might be stolen. So he removed them.

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Man Who Has Sex With Table Gets 6 Months

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Brooklyn Bundt Bust

Three high-school seniors in Brooklyn are facing up to seven years in prison after serving their teachers a laxative-laced bundt cake

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Man's Lemonade Stand 'Hold-Up' Goes Sour

Maybe you've seen the awesometastic story of the little girl in Indiana chasing down a man named Steve Tryon (pictured) who, cops say, robbed her lemonade stand of its entire $17.50 kitty.

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Goat Crimes

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Your Dumb is in the Mail...

a crook left his mobile phone at a home he broke into

"man boobs."

Tags: funny, humor, crime, idiots

Obama's Hypocrisy

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:57:02 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.cnsnews.com

While Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama has vowed to make pay equity for women a top priority if elected president, an analysis of his Senate staff shows that women are outnumbered and out-paid by men.

That is in contrast to Republican presidential candidate John McCain's Senate office, where women, for the most part, out-rank and are paid more than men.

On average, women working in Obama's Senate office were paid at least $6,000 below the average man working for the Illinois senator. That's according to data calculated from the Report of the Secretary of the Senate, which covered the six-month period ending Sept. 30, 2007.

The average pay for the 33 men

was $59,207.

The average pay for the 31 women on Obama's staff

was $48,729

the average pay for the 30 women on McCain's staff was $59,104

The 16 non-intern males in McCain's office, by comparison, were paid an average of $56,628

The Obama campaign did not respond to written questions submitted on the matter

Tags: obama, politics, election, idiots

8 worst things to say in an interview

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 06:47:36 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.cnn.com

1. "I hated my last boss."

don't mistake honesty, which is admirable, for trash-talking, which is despicable.

2. "I don't know anything about the company."

interviewer will wonder why you're applying for the job

3. "No, I don't have any questions for you."

signals a lack of interest

4. "I'm going to need to take these days off."

don't bring it up prior to the salary negotiation/offer stage

5. "How long until I get a promotion?"

be certain you don't come off as entitled or ready to leave behind a job you don't even have yet.

6. "Are you an active member in your church?"

Avoid topics that are controversial

7. "As Lady Macbeth so eloquently put it..."

Scripted answers, although accurate, don't impress interviewers.

8. "And another thing I hate..."

Save your rants for your blog. When you're angry, you don't sway anybody's opinion about a topic, but you do make them like you less.

For one thing, they might disagree with you. They also won't take kindly to your bad attitude.

Tags: employment, career, work, idiots

Worst Celebrity Trainwrecks

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 06:46:08 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.popcrunch.com

How much damage can money and fame do to people?

The “Will They Ever Learn?” Trainwrecks

1. Pete Doherty
2. Amy Winehouse
3. Britney Spears
4. Lindsay Lohan
5. Paris Hilton
6. Kirsten Dunst
7. Mischa Barton
8. Michelle Rodriguez
9. Kiefer Sutherland
10. Kate Moss
11. Naomi Campbell
12. Sienna Miller

The “Golden Oldies”

You’d figure that with enough time, any trainwreck would learn the error of their misguided ways and try to fix themselves. Not this bunch.

13. Sean Young
14. Daniel Baldwin
15. Mel Gibson
16. Heidi Fleiss
17. Tom Cruise
18. Paula Abdul
19. David Hasselhoff
20. Keith Richards
21. Sharon Stone
22. Roseanne Barr

Trainwrecks “Beyond Help”

You couldn’t fix these trainwrecks even if you tried (as I’m sure many medical professionals have)…

44. Michael Vick
45. Tom Sizemore
46. O.J. Simpson
47. Andy Dick
48. Anna Nicole Smith
49. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
50. Lil Kim

“Just Plain Odd” Trainwrecks

51. Michael Jackson
52. Lauryn Hill
53. Courtney Love
54. Jocelyn Wildenstein

Tags: celebrities, entertainment, idiots

The 10 Worst Products For Men Ever Created

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 04:20:04 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: "...there are still some things that make men feel insecure. Hoping to capitalize on these insecurities, some downright wacky products have been sold.
Here are the top 10 worst products ever made for men....."

Clip Source: artofmanliness.com

The Timely Warning

The Timely Warning was a penis cooling apparatus designed to prevent wet dreams. A man would attach the device to his penis before he went to bed. When an erection occurred during the night, levers opened to allow cold water to flow through tubes around the genitalia.

Spermatic Truss

The spermatic truss, patented in 1876, was designed to make erections impossible by binding the genitalia down. 21 years later, the designer changed the truss a bit, making erections possible. The only downside? An erection would now drive the genitalia against painful spikes.

Spike lined ring

This device was aimed not only at preventing masturbation, but nocturnal emissions as well.

The Heidelberg electric belt, touted as a cure, sent electricity to your genitals and promised to restore your vitality and strength.

This dilator promised to cure “piles, constipation, and prostrate problems.”

The Prostate Warmer

this device promised to “stimulate the abdominal brain!”

Chest Hair Toupee

Tags: men, science, health, idiots

“Show me yours, I’ll show you mine…”

Sun, 18 May 2008 14:22:35 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: From the ‘Sex under the burka’ department…

Clip Source: forums.sulekha.com

Saudi wants divorce after husband lifts her veil

Never showed her face in 30 years of marriage

A 50-year-old Saudi woman asked for divorce after her husband lifted her face veil while she was sleeping, local press reported.

For 30 years, the wife said she never showed her face to her husband in conformity with the tradition of her native village near the south western Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt.

“After all these years, he tries to commit such a big mistake,” the wife told Saudi newspaper Al-Riyadh, after she left the house in total disbelief.

She said the husband apologized and promised never to do it again.

This is not the first case of husbands who have not seen their wives’ faces in decades.

In the past Al Arabiya has reported the case of Ali al-Qahtani, whose wife had been wearing the face veil for the entire ten years of their marrage. When he tried to take it off, she threatened to leave and only decided to stay after he swore never to try again.

Tags: religion, arab, islam, idiots, sex

Woman Says Joyriding Grandson, 7, Beat Her Up

Sun, 18 May 2008 00:51:46 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: O..M...G.

Clip Source: www.wpbf.com

A 7-year-old boy who took his grandmother's car on a joyride last month has been taken for a mental health evaluation after he allegedly beat her up inside a South Florida Wal-Mart

Latarian Milton told WPBF on April 28 that he took his grandmother's Dodge Durango on a joyride

"I wanted to do it because it's fun. It's fun to do bad things," Milton said. "I wanted to do hood-rat stuff for my friend."

the boy and a friend drove several miles

during rush hour before finally coming to a crashing halt

Milton ran over two mailboxes, hit two parked cars in a Costco parking lot and struck two moving cars

Milton's grandmother, Vikkita Stratford, told WPBF that the 7-year-old took his mischievous activities to a new level Monday when she said he beat her up inside a Lake Park Wal-Mart.

the problem began when Milton asked his grandmother for some chicken wings. When she refused, Milton walked over over to the counter and ordered them

Milton hit her stomach, legs and "wherever he could reach me."

Tags: children, crime, florida, idiots, juvenile delinquent

What Went Wrong, Hillary?

Sat, 17 May 2008 02:33:04 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: "The exclusive story of Hillary's fall, as told by the high-level advisors, staffers, fundraisers, and on-the-ground organizers who lived it."

Clip Source: www.thinkyouth.org

Clip Source: www.tnr.com

we asked (begged, really) a range of Hillarylanders for their up-close and personal lists of "What Went Wrong?"

"Devastating vulnerabilities such as Obama's associations with Wright and Ayers were not unearthed by the campaign's vaunted research team in time to be fully taken advantage of--despite being readily available in the public domain."

The campaign inexplicably wrote off many states entirely, allowing Obama to create the lead of 100+ delegates that he has today.

We would just cringe. Ugh. Such an out-of-touch corporate run kind of campaign--exactly what you'd expect from Mark Penn.

Bill's] behavior that started off in Iowa, carried on in New Hampshire, and culminated in South Carolina really was the beginning of the end.

"There was financial mismanagement bordering on fraud. A candidate who raised more than a quarter of a billion dollars over the years had to pump in millions more of her own money to stave off bankruptcy."

PROBLEMS WITH THE CANDIDATE

Tags: hillary, clinton, politics, election, idiots

Beijing's Exclusive Penis Restaurant

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:16:14 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: "...not for the faint-hearted"

Clip Source: www.spiegel.de

Whole yak penis or sheep testicles on a bed of curry, anyone? A Beijing restaurant serves painstakingly decorated gourmet dishes for the fearless. They're supposed to increase male potency, but women should try a bite, too: Eating penis is good for the skin, apparently.

"Here, try it," says Zhaoran, a business student, as she places a beige-colored ox urethra onto her friend's plate. He's in the middle of wolfing down a piece of chewy dog penis.

A visit to the Guolizhuang Restaurant in Beijing is not for the faint-hearted. Here the menu consists almost entirely of penis and testicle dishes -- made from the private parts of deer, snakes, yaks, horses, seals and ducks, among others.

"Chinese eat anything with four legs, except tables. And everything that flies, except airplanes," says Zhaoran, quoting a well-known Chinese saying.

Some of the specialties are expensive: A yak penis costs €179

Lucy hands over a little red box with ribbons on it. The dog penis bone is inside.

Clip Source: www.spiegel.de

Tags: humor, evil, disguating, idiots, animal abuse