Clipmarks | CrazyRedHead's 'sex' clips

Maybe you've seen the awesometastic story of the little girl in Indiana chasing down a man named Steve Tryon (pictured) who, cops say, robbed her lemonade stand of its entire $17.50 kitty.

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Goat Crimes

Clip Source: blog.trutv.com

Your Dumb is in the Mail...

a crook left his mobile phone at a home he broke into

"man boobs."

Tags: funny, humor, crime, idiots

List of Weird Band Names

Tue, 20 May 2008 16:55:40 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Bad taste warning - some of the names I didn't clip are hard core...

Clip Source: rock103.com

[ # ]

57 Lesbian
1,200,000 Dead Tibetians
2000 Flushes
3D House of Beef

[ a ]

A Box of Fish with Tartar Sauce

Adolph Hitler's Nipples

Alcoholocaust

Aggressive Crotch Display

Anus The Menace

Aquarium Rescue Unit

Armageddon Dildos

[ b ]

The Bambi Molesters

Barenaked Ladies

The Bastard Sons of Eddie Haskel

Bulimia Banquet

[ c ]

Cameltoe

Cindy Brady's Lisp

Crosseyed Chicken

[ d ]

Dairy Queen Empire

Demon Barf

Don Knotts Overdrive

Dumpster Juice

[ e ]

Elvis Hitler

Exploding White Mice

[ f ]

Fabulous Pimps

Flaming Anus

Flopping Bodybags

[ g ]

Gangsta Bitch Barbie

God's Girlfriend

Goldfish Don't Bounce

Grim Skunk

[ h ]

Halo of Flies

Hairy Buzzard Gizzards

Hairy Conniption Fit

The Hairy Eyeballs

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

Hostile Amish

[ i ]

Impotent Porn Stars

Iowa Beef Experience

Iron Prostate

[ j ]

Jesus Chrysler Supercar

Joey Tampon and The Toxic Shocks

Johnny Vomit

[ l ]

Linoleum Blownapart

Lipstick Sandwich

Lubricated Goat

Lung Mustard

[ m ]

Mentally Retarded Cows

Mighty Sphincter

[ n ]

Naugahyde Chihuahuas

[ r ]

Rats of Unusual Size

Rugburns

Tags: humor, humour, music, sex, bizarre

“Show me yours, I’ll show you mine…”

Sun, 18 May 2008 14:22:35 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: From the ‘Sex under the burka’ department…

Clip Source: forums.sulekha.com

Saudi wants divorce after husband lifts her veil

Never showed her face in 30 years of marriage

A 50-year-old Saudi woman asked for divorce after her husband lifted her face veil while she was sleeping, local press reported.

For 30 years, the wife said she never showed her face to her husband in conformity with the tradition of her native village near the south western Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt.

“After all these years, he tries to commit such a big mistake,” the wife told Saudi newspaper Al-Riyadh, after she left the house in total disbelief.

She said the husband apologized and promised never to do it again.

This is not the first case of husbands who have not seen their wives’ faces in decades.

In the past Al Arabiya has reported the case of Ali al-Qahtani, whose wife had been wearing the face veil for the entire ten years of their marrage. When he tried to take it off, she threatened to leave and only decided to stay after he swore never to try again.

Tags: religion, arab, islam, idiots, sex

21 Excuses for not Having Sex

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:34:20 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: — You can’t stop thinking about all the stuff you have to do tomorrow, and what you really want to do is find a pencil and a piece of paper.
— You have your teeth-whitening equipment in.
— You are bloody tired.
— You have hiccups.
— He hasn’t shaved.
— You think the heating might still be on. It is unbelievably hot.
— It is too cold to risk the duvet moving at all.

Clip Source: www.timesonline.co.uk

Clip Source: women.timesonline.co.uk

— You were in the mood an hour ago, then he insisted on watching more TV, and now all you can think about is Heather Mills and gifted children.

— He has been remiss. You can’t remember exactly how, but it was earlier, and you are still angry.

— You have drunk the perfect amount and now feel peculiar – any movement could provoke nausea.

— He doesn’t seem to be as keen as he should be, and if he is waiting for you to demonstrate keenness, which he may be, then you thought of it first.

— You are worrying about early-onset Alzheimer’s, particularly on account of the keys-left-in-the-front-door incident.

— You have noticed a large crack in the bedroom ceiling. This has led you into a spiral of self-loathing because of the decorating that still needs to be done

— You accidentally watched a documentary on Five called How to be Averagely Good in Bed by 21st-Century Standards, and it has taken the wind out of your sails.

— The dog is looking.

— You think you have a heart murmur.

Tags: sex, health, humour, humor

Kinky News Network

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 05:46:51 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.nypost.com

CNN personality Richard Quest was busted in Central Park early yesterday with some drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot,

Quest, 46, was arrested at around 3:40 a.m. after a cop spotted him and another man inside the park

the officer at the scene was able to ID the drug because of "his prior experience as a police officer in drug arrests

and defendant's statements that . . . 'I've got some meth in my pocket.' "

At a hearing in Manhattan Criminal Court, Quest agreed to undergo six months of drug counseling in return for an "adjournment in contemplation of dismissal,"

He was reportedly once offered a position for the English-language version of the controversial Al Jazeera network, but said he turned it down because being gay and Jewish, he didn't think it would be a good fit.

Tags: news, idiots, entertainment, drugs, pull my rope

The Case Against Hillary Clinton

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 20:53:30 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.slate.com

Indifferent to truth, willing to use police-state tactics and vulgar libels against inconvenient witnesses, hopeless on health care, and flippant and fast and loose with national security: The case against Hillary Clinton for president is open-and-shut.

Of course, against all these considerations you might prefer the newly fashionable and more media-weighty notion that if you don't show her enough appreciation, and after all she's done for us, she may cry.

For Sen. Clinton, something is true if it validates the myth of her striving and her "greatness" (her overweening ambition in other words) and only ceases to be true when it no longer serves that limitless purpose.

And we are all supposed to applaud the skill and the bare-faced bravado with which this is done.

In the New Hampshire primary in 1992, she knowingly lied about her husband's uncontainable sex life and put him eternally in her debt. This is now thought of, and referred to in print, purely as a smart move on her part.

Tags: hillary clinton, christopher hitchens, politics

Greedy, Vulgar, Tacky

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:09:10 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

Lying seductively back on white silk sheets, legs akimbo, wearing naught but his skimpy undies, David Beckham's new poster ad is not so much "Hello Boys" as "Hello Sailors".

While many people will simply dismiss this image as little more than gay erotica - it is clearly, and cynically, designed to appeal as much to gay men as to women - I would suggest that this is a new low point in the vulgerisation of so much of modern life.

But then what else should we expect from the man who, along with his wife, has done as much as any modern celebrity to destroy the value placed by our society on self-respect and self-restraint.

Why should Beckham's private parts - for this is what it is really all about - be shoved into the nation's face for cheap commercial gain?

And what kind of a father - of three boys - exposes himself draped across the world's billboards in his posing pouch, looking like the male equivalent of a Page Three tart?

Tags: sports, celebrity, sex

Christopher Hitchens' Bikini Wax

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 16:32:39 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Read the whole thing - it's well worth your time.

Clip Source: www.vanityfair.com

The male version of the wax is officially called a sunga, which is the name for the Brazilian boys’ bikini

Clip Source: www.vanityfair.com

The combined effect was like being tortured for information that you do not possess, with intervals for a (incidentally very costly) sandpaper handjob

Clip Source: www.vanityfair.com

Christopher Hitchens takes an unauthorized smoking break in a "Moor Mud Mask"

brief physical review

Viewed from the front when clothed, the subject resembles a burst horsehair sofa cushion or (in the opinion of one of us) a condom hastily stuffed with an old sock.

Clip Source: www.vanityfair.com

You ladies will know what I mean by the stirrup position

wait: surely you can’t be serious about putting … Oh Jesus. I was overwhelmed by a sudden access of lava-like agony

I suppose I could have had the whole torso denuded, but then I would have looked even more like a porpoise than I already do.

J Sisters staff had been surprised by my failure to yelp or cry out, so I suppose I can be prouder of my British reserve than I was of my British teeth

Tags: humour, humor, health, sex, genitalia, christopher hitchens

Buckled for Having Sex with a Bike

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 23:57:50 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Now the bikes of Britain will be safe.

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

A man has been put on the sex offenders' register after being caught trying to have sex with a bike.

Robert Stewart was discovered half naked in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel

Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace

"They (the hostel cleaners) knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

The hostel staff informed the manager who reported Stewart to the police.

Although unusual he is not the first to be caught in a compromising situation with a object as Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements

Witnesses reported seeing him lying face down on the pavement with his trousers around his ankles.

Tags: sex, crime, idiots, humour

Child Predator Kills Himself

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 11:47:06 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.foxnews.com

A federal prosecutor accused of flying to Detroit last month to have sex with a 5-year-old girl committed suicide Friday in his cell in a Milan federal prison.

Assistant U.S. Attorney John D.R. Atchison was found unresponsive, taken to a local hospital and pronounced dead at 10:17 a.m.

He was charged with three felonies, the most serious of which was crossing state lines with intent to have sex with someone under 12. A conviction had carried a minimum of 30 years in prison.

A statement released Friday by his lawyer, James Thomas, said Atchison had "done a lot of good in his life."

"Unfortunately, he is going to be judged by his most recent charges and what we have read in the media, and not by the goodness, hard work or by the love of his family."

Atchison had attempted to hang himself with a bedsheet last month in a Sanilac county jail, but another inmate alerted guards who stopped the suicide attempt.

Tags: children, sex, crime, society

Mom snorted cocaine off baby's stomach while breastfeeding.

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 13:59:06 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: wnyt.com

"This is right at the top of the all time despicable crime list in Schenectady," said Schenectady Police spokesman Lt. Brian Kilcullen.

Wendy Cook of Saratoga was one of five women arrested during a police operation targeting prostitution in Schenectady. Police say Cook's five year old daughter and eight week old son were with her as she stayed out all night, having sex and doing drugs. Police say at one point, cook even snorted cocaine off the baby's stomach as she was breastfeeding.

Police say Wendy Cook, 37 of Saratoga, had been out all night, selling sex and smoking crack and snorting cocaine, while her children were with her.

Cook is scheduled to appear in court Tuesday. Her children were turned over to family members. Police say that the infant will be tested for cocaine.

Tags: children, crime, society, drugs, cocaine, idiots

Wildly Mismatched Film Romances

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 12:16:31 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.avclub.com

Ernest Borgnine & Bette Davis, The Catered Affai

it's hard to get past Davis' attempts to match every one of Borgnine's dropped Gs and guttural grunts.

Al Pacino & Chris Sarandon, Dog Day Afternoon

Al Pacino is a manic, none-too-bright would-be bank robber who wants the money to buy a sex change for his lover, Chris Sarandon.

John Travolta & Lily Tomlin, Moment By Moment

Sean Connery & Lorraine Bracco, Medicine Man

Bracco's whiny, one-note performance made the prospect of a torrid affair between the characters seem ridiculous

James Woods & Dolly Parton, Straight Talk

Harrison Ford & Anne Heche, Six Days Seven Nights

Anne Heche became publicly involved with America's most famous lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres, shortly before the film's release.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, Gigli

Her Gigli character is a lesbian, but that seems like the least of Bennifer's impediments as an onscreen couple.

Charles Grodin & Miss Piggy, The Great Muppet Caper

Boy meets pig. Boy frames pig as a jewel thief.

Tags: movies, films, entertainment, sex

Hypocrite Haggard Pleads for Handouts

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 06:14:29 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Haggard's home, which has been up for sale, has a market value of $715,051.

Clip Source: disneybear.com

Clip Source: www.foxnews.com

The Rev. Ted Haggard, who left the megachurch he founded after admitting to "sexual immorality," has asked supporters for financial assistance while he and his wife pursue their studies.

The former New Life Church pastor plans to seek a master's degree in counseling at the University of Phoenix while his wife studies psychology

"During that time we will continue as full-time students, and then, when I graduate, we won't need outside support any longer."

Haggard received a salary of $115,000 for the 10 months he worked in 2006 and an $85,000 anniversary bonus before the scandal broke

Haggard left the 10,000-member New Life Church late last year and resigned as head of the National Association of Evangelicals after a former male escort accused Haggard of paying him for sex.

"It looks as though it will take two years for us to have adequate earning power again, so we are looking for people who will help us monthly for two years," the e-mail said.

Tags: religion, hypocrisy, liars, egomaniacs, outrageous lunacy, looking for idiots

Al Gore Silliness

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:50:43 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: uncyclopedia.org

"Weird" Al Gore was the inventor of the environment and the first emperor of the moon. Al Gore works part time as a computer programmer and invented the world’s first computer algorithm; which he named after himself, and part time as the right hand man of Satan.

Facts you should know

It is debatable whether Al Gore is a robot or is actually human. However, not even a robot would have sex with Tipper Gore.

Al Gore postulated the Anonymous-Asshattery Paradigm, which revolutionized how the world looks at the internet.

Al Gore prays that you won't mention his private jets.

Al Gore is often considered the forty-second president because he was considered president for forty seconds.

Gore once dated Rosie O'Donnell, and Rosie claims that experience lead her to become a lesbian.

What He Has Done to Stop Global Warming

Nothing but bitch, complain, and try to get other people to do the work for him

The Leonardo Da Vinci Affair

Another Inconvenient Truth

What people say about Al Gore

Tags: al gore, humor, global warming

Clipmarks | CrazyRedHead's 'sex' clips

Dumb Criminals

List of Weird Band Names

“Show me yours, I’ll show you mine…”

21 Excuses for not Having Sex

Kinky News Network

The Case Against Hillary Clinton

Top 10 Most Curious stories of 2007

Greedy, Vulgar, Tacky

Christopher Hitchens' Bikini Wax

Buckled for Having Sex with a Bike

Child Predator Kills Himself

Mom snorted cocaine off baby's stomach while breastfeeding.

Wildly Mismatched Film Romances

Hypocrite Haggard Pleads for Handouts

Al Gore Silliness