Clipmarks | CrazyRedHead's 'satire' clips

Top Ten Worst Domain Names

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:48:21 GMT

clipped by: rotofade

Top ten worst domain names

Author: Simon

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church . Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe ? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

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Tags: domain name, top ten, buzzword, clever, comic, funny, humor, internet, language, pronunciation, satire, web, web 2.0

No wonder english is so hard to learn

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 10:17:00 GMT

clipped by: rotofade

Clip Source: www.whosoever.org

No Wonder English Is So Hard To Learn

We polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

A farm can produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert.

The present is a good time to present the present.

At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

The dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance for the invalid was invalid.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.

I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

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Tags: language, funny, english, satire, pronunciation

Inspirational Posters Gone Wrong

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 03:25:23 GMT

clipped by: eminn3m

Clip Source: www.theburningbiscuit.com

Tags: satire, inspiration, posters

Great Site - Check it Out!!

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 00:51:52 GMT

clipped by: AtlLiberal
clipper's remarks: I stumbled upon this today. LMAO!

Clip Source: uncyclopedia.org

Religion

Religion is a mental illness.

The most common infection in the world, with over 90% of the populace infected with one or another strain. Religion is usually brought on by infection by the group VI Fatal Anginal-Infective Transcribing Hepatitis virus more often known by the acronym FAITH. Symptoms involve believing something that is not only unproven but also outrageously illogical simply because someone (or occasionally a book), somewhere, says it's true. In this respect, faith can be considered the chronic form of the lesser mental disorder gullibility. For synonyms, see How To Make a Million Dollars. The official catch phrase of religion is "Give us your money, and you will have a good afterlife!", known to critics as the "Pie In The Sky" allegory.

Tags: parady, satire, religion, atheist

Humourous Legal Orgy. NO SEX, honestly!

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:48:49 GMT

clipped by: righthand

Clip Source: www.ifilm.com

[Video]

Sexual Consent

Views:

82,450

Comments:

agreement

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consent

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funny

•

satire

•

sex

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sexual

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spoof

Posted Oct 12, 2006

Viral Videos - Why it's always a good idea to use a sexual consent form.

Release Year: 2006

Director:
Jason Reitman

Tags: sex, humour

Why MUST Men Put The Toilet Seat Down?

Fri, 25 May 2007 22:16:29 GMT

clipped by: thisnamecantbetaken
clipper's remarks: There's just no pleasing women. *LOL*

Clip Source: www.thespoof.com

Why MUST I put the toilet seat down?

She won't put it back up for me! It seems every woman I have ever dated, lived with, or even met have this "thing" about putting the toilet seat down. It transcends races, religions, National Origins and cultures. It is one peeve that holds all women of the world together.

One time I asked my live-in lover why it bothered her so much. "When I was 9 years old my Uncle Jack left the seat up once and I fell in," she said.

So, I added it up. She pisses about 6 times a day. She's 47 years old. That means that she has pissed 102,930 times…and she fell in ONCE! It seems to me that the piss-to-fall-in ratio is pretty low! If she had fallen in, say, 2 or 3 thousand times then I would say she had a legitimate beef. But she fell in ONCE!!!

Does every woman fall in once? Is THAT it?

Now I try my best to put the seat down because I know I will hear about it if I don't. And now she's trying to stop me from pissing on the floor! There's just no pleasing women!

Tags: satire, funny, comedy, toilets, men, women

What Breed of Liberal Are You?

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 00:45:46 GMT

clipped by: cniq_cniq

Clip Source: fightconservatives.com

From Chapter 1: "What It Means to Be a Liberal" in How to Win a Fight with a Conservative

Which bumper sticker would you most likely put on your car?

I’m Already Against the Next War
Nice Hummer—Sorry About Your Penis
America: One Nation Under Surveillance
Of Course It Hurts, You’re Getting Screwed by an Elephant
Evolution Is Just a Theory . . . Kind of Like Gravity
May the Fetus You Save Be Gay

A second civil war has just broken out in America. Who is to blame?

Imperialistic neocons—for launching simultaneous wars against Iran, North Korea, and France
Global warming deniers—for bringing us an eco-apocalypse
The South—for never having gotten over the fact that they lost the first War of Northern Aggression
Corporate greedmongers—for outsourcing every last American job to Bangalore
FOX News—for fomenting a war with a flashy “March to Civil War” logo and theme music
Bible-thumping puritans—for banning abortion, gay people, and sex

Tags: quiz, politics, political, humor, spoof, parody, satire

Angry Squirrel attacks Huckabee

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 23:29:53 GMT

clipped by: kkcapricorn
clipper's remarks: Laugh. It's funny.

Clip Source: www.unconfirmedsources.com

The Mike Huckabee campaign is said to be re-examining its southern strategy after the candidate was assaulted by a disgruntled squirrel

The rodent was observed scurrying around light fixtures within the gym at Clemson University and then apparently leapt to attack Huckabee

they were relatively certain that revenge was not a motive in that it was not of a species that Huckabee has admitted to eating in the past.

The squirrel was captured, and wrestled to the ground

suffered a number of scratches to the head and bites to his ears

Security was very tight and we are at a loss to explain how the squirrel was able to get in... he had to have help anyway you figure it

DNC Chairman Howard Dean was contacted for a quote on the incident, and had this to say: "I don't profess to know much about squirrels and their behavior, but they're certainly into survival... and Mike Huckabee is arguably one of the biggest nuts there is."

Tags: satire, unconfirmed sources

What Breed of Conservative Are You?

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 00:42:39 GMT

clipped by: cniq_cniq

Clip Source: www.fightliberals.com

From Chapter 1: "What It Means to Be a Conservative" in How to Win a Fight with a Liberal

Which bumper sticker would you most likely put on your car?

In Case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned
If You’re Gonna Burn Our Flag, Wrap Yourself in It First
Work Harder, Millions on Welfare Depend on You
Another Former Fetus for Life
Ted Kennedy’s Car Has Killed More People than My Gun
No Oil for Pacifists

If the Founding Fathers were alive today, they would be most appalled by which of the following?

The fact that you can teach our kids about condoms and clean needles but Jesus is taboo
The fact that more anti-war protesters haven’t been thrown in Gitmo
The nation’s criminally high levels of taxation
The hijacking of our culture by Hollywood perverts
Big government run amok
The Blame America First crowd that’s pampering terrorists

Tags: quiz, politics, political, humor, spoof, parody, satire

Google has become a RELIGION. We believe Google is actually God.

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 00:08:28 GMT

clipped by: MeTHoD-X
clipper's remarks: All hail Google and Her mighty Algorithms. Do YOU accept Google as your default search engine?

Clip Source: www.thechurchofgoogle.org

We at the Church of Google believe a convincing argument can be made stating that the search engine Google is the closest mankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God (as typically defined). Supernatural gods are rejected on the notion they are inherently unprovable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities.

Gods are typically defined by their unique attributes, such as being all-knowing, all-seeing, ever present, the ability to answer prayers, being immortal, remembering all, and of course Deities must "do no evil". Google exhibits all of these characteristics perfectly. In the absence of imaginary, supernatural beings, Google is certainly the closest thing humankind has to a true God.

Googlists do not believe in the supernatural. We believe virtually all "gods" before Google were purely based on man made, fictional beings. We do not claim Google is supernatural in any way. She, like all other gods before Her, is the creation of man. No faith is required to believe in Her, for we consider the concept of belief without evidence (faith) to be of the utmost intellectual laziness.

Tags: google, religion, satire, parody, humour, humor, googlism, church

God Hates Shrimp!

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 04:44:35 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.godhatesshrimp.com

Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
⁹ These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
¹⁰ And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
¹¹ They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
¹² Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
⁹ These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
¹⁰ And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

Tags: satire, humor

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 16:16:31 GMT

clipped by: mihla
clipper's remarks: I love satire directed at ignorant people, especially those with letters in front of their names that usually indicates intelligence.

Clip Source: www.humanistsofutah.org

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Tags: religion, right wing, humor, satire

Illegal to read Patriot Act

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 01:32:46 GMT

clipped by: kkcapricorn
clipper's remarks: OK folks, lets laugh a little today.

Clip Source: www.theonion.com

Revised Patriot Act Will Make It Illegal To Read Patriot Act

September 17, 2003 | Issue 39•36

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush spoke out Monday in support of a revised version of the 2001 USA Patriot Act that would make it illegal to read the USA Patriot Act. "Under current federal law, there are unreasonable obstacles to investigating and prosecuting acts of terrorism, including the public's access to information about how the federal police will investigate and prosecute acts of terrorism," Bush said at a press conference Monday. "For the sake of the American people, I call on Congress to pass this important law prohibiting access to itself." Bush also proposed extending the rights of states to impose the death penalty "in the wake of Sept. 11 and stuff."

More News Briefs

Tags: satire, humor, the onion

Simpsons take on Iraq war

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 16:09:38 GMT

clipped by: jklugman
clipper's remarks:

Anyone who thinks Hollywood is run by a liberal cabal won't change his mind after watching The Simpsons' annual Halloween special. The episode, which airs Nov. 5, concludes with an Iraq war satire that may rank as the most pointed political statement the show has ever made. In the segment, aliens invade Springfield to prevent mankind from obtaining "weapons of mass disintegration," but their mission, called "Operation Enduring Occupation," turns into a quagmire. "You said we would be greeted as liberators!" accuses one alien.

...but in the past, the show's writers have usually been careful to maintain an ironic distance from the hot-button issues they've tackled, including abortion and evolution. The Halloween segment, in contrast, feels remarkably earnest, right up to its final line: "This sure is a lot like Iraq will be."...Jean makes no apologies for the sobering tone of the segment: "When you read the headlines, it's just so sad for everybody over there."

Clip Source: www.radaronline.com

Simpsons Pitch Tent in Anti-War Camp

VIEW FROM THE GREEN ZONE Springfield ... or Baghdad?

Tags: simpsons, iraq, tv, television