Clipmarks | CrazyRedHead's 'idiots' clips

Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 04:47:34 GMT

clipped by: OhBlaDi

Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

12 Nov, 2006 General, -Funneh

Top Ten Reasons to Make Gay Marriage Illegal

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. .

Tags: politics, idiots, gay marriage

Top 15 Geek Quotes

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 05:13:35 GMT

clipped by: ragendem

Clip Source: www.boardofwisdom.com

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

- Unknown

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

- T-Shirt

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

- Unknown

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

- tee shirt

My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.

- Unknown

I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly

- T-Shirt

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

- Unknown

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

- Unknown

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

- Unknown

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

- Unknown

Clip Source: www.boardofwisdom.com

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.

- Unknown

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you

- someone at slashdot

People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

- Unknown

The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"

- Unknown

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.

- Unknown

Tags: social, science, humor

Weird Gadgets from the 1920's

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:31:58 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

TOE SOCKS

These pre-shrunk 'To Sox' were designed to act as toe protectors. Produced during World War II, it was claimed that they could reduce hosiery costs by up to 80 per cent. They were designed to be worn over the big toes, to protect socks from wear.

LIGHT SPECTACLES

Invented in the U.S. in the 1930s, these specs were adorned with two small, battery-powered lights, with a long wire trailing beneath. The experience was marred only by the likelihood of electrocution when it rained.

MOUSTACHE PROTECTOR

designed with a hole for the mustachioed man to sip through.

FINGER STRETCHER FOR PIANISTS

Developed in America in 1910 to help pianists hit the sprawling notes demanded by the likes of Stravinsky and Debussy. Careful use was required: it is thought the composer Schumann destroyed his hands using an early version.

PAGE TURNER

CLOCKWORK TEASMADE

AN EARLY LAVATORY

PEEP SHOW

CIGARETTE HOLDER

PISTOL PURSE

a tiny machine complete with its own map that would tell motorists which way to go.

Tags: weird, funny, bizarre, humour, idiots

T-Shirt quotes: funny, interesting & thoughtful!

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 09:30:58 GMT

clipped by: mugofcoffee

Clip Source: www.coolnsmart.com

God is dead and I want His job.

I'm the person your mother warned you about.

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

Never kick a man unless he's down.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

How can I love you if you won't lie down ?

I wear the brains in the family.

Death is hereditary.

Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.

I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant

I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

Where there's a will... I want to be in it.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Do not disturb I'm disturbed enough already.

Tags: t shirt quotes, funny, interesting, thoughtful.

Buckled for Having Sex with a Bike

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 23:57:50 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Now the bikes of Britain will be safe.

Clip Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

A man has been put on the sex offenders' register after being caught trying to have sex with a bike.

Robert Stewart was discovered half naked in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel

Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace

"They (the hostel cleaners) knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

The hostel staff informed the manager who reported Stewart to the police.

Although unusual he is not the first to be caught in a compromising situation with a object as Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements

Witnesses reported seeing him lying face down on the pavement with his trousers around his ankles.

Tags: sex, crime, idiots, humour

Cashier Attacks Deaf Man for Not Talking

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 11:16:33 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: "Upon further investigation, it appeared the suspect became frustrated when the victim wouldn't respond or acknowledge his attempts to converse," Sullivan said. "He became outraged and struck the victim in an unwarranted attack." The store's surveillance tape was erased or taped over before the officers got there.

Clip Source: www.star-telegram.com

A store cashier struck a deaf customer in the head with a crowbar after he mistook the man's silence for rudeness and disrespect

"I can't believe someone would hit him for not speaking," said Goodnight's mother, Kay Goodnight. "When you're deaf, you don't make a point of starting conversations with people."

Cody Goodnight said he had walked several blocks from their house to the Family Dollar to buy a soft drink for his 5-year-old son. Inside the store, he put the soda on the counter to pay.

The cashier tried to speak to him but got angry when Goodnight didn't respond, Goodnight told police. The cashier threw Goodnight's change at him, scattering it on the floor.

As Goodnight picked it up, the cashier hit him in the side of the head with the crowbar

Officers went to the store, where Young immediately asked if they were there about what "happened earlier,"

After officers told Young that Goodnight was deaf and unable to communicate verbally, Young responded "Oh,"

Tags: crime, deafness, disability, idiots

I Can Haz LOLZ ??!1!!?

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 05:36:57 GMT

clipped by: CrazyRedHead
clipper's remarks: Dumb, but I love them!

Clip Source: icanhascheezburger.com

Tags: funny, humor, cats, lolcats, idiots

Why Idiots Prevail

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 22:16:30 GMT

clipped by: bwang07
clipper's remarks: True.

Clip Source: www.youtube.com

[Video]

Huge list of funny one-liners

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 08:08:49 GMT

clipped by: tron2007

Clip Source: masalajokes.blogspot.com

You wouldn't be needing any more one liners after reading this massive list!!

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Tags: funny, general, humor, humour

Rush Limbaugh Attacks Black Katrina victims and praises Whites as the Floods hit.

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:40:19 GMT

clipped by: ratilfar
clipper's remarks: His ignorance is outstanding. An encroaching flood is not the same as a devastating hurricane in coastal area followed by flood and fire in a big city. But hey, them negroes don't deserve better. Hope his Lardness never gets trapped in such a situation.

Clip Source: www.crooksandliars.com

Limbaugh: I want to know. I look at Iowa, I look at Illinois—I want to see the murders. I want to see the looting. I want to see all the stuff that happened in New Orleans. I see devastation in Iowa and Illinois that dwarfs what happened in New Orleans. I see people working together. I see people trying to save their property…I don’t see a bunch of people running around waving guns at helicopters, I don’t see a bunch of people running shooting cops. I don’t see a bunch of people raping people on the street. I don’t see a bunch of people doing everything they can…whining and moaning—where’s FEMA, where’s BUSH. I see the heartland of America. When I look at Iowa and when I look at Illinois, I see the backbone of America.

well known disdain for poor blacks in the south who were victims of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. To hear Limbaugh describe it, Iowa is more American, more honorable … you know … more white than Louisiana.

Download | Play (The audio will work in just a few minutes)

Tags: rushbo, rush limpbaugh, racist, racism, idiots

Bags Carry Hidden Message: Our President Is An Idiot

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 17:21:22 GMT

clipped by: haraya

Clip Source: www.snopes.com

Claim: Washing instruction tags on Tom Bihn bags carry a hidden message in French.

Status: True.

In April 2004, someone called attention to the fact something was a little odd about the care instruction tags found on backpacks and laptop cases produced by manufacturer TOM BIHN of Port Angeles, Washington. Specifically, what was unusual was that the English and French statements on those tags didn't quite match — while both versions included the usual admonitions not to use bleach, not to machine dry, and not to iron the bags, the French-language version included an extra phrase: "NOUS SOMMES DESOLES QUE NOTRE PRESIDENT SOIT UN IDIOT. NOUS N'AVONS PAS VOTE POUR LUI." Roughly translated, this statement reads in English as: "We're sorry our president is an idiot. We didn't vote for him."

Tom Bihn, president of the eponymous company, said he doesn't know which of his 10 employees are responsible. "They know my French is so bad they could sneak it past me," he said. But he doesn't appear to be too determined to root out the guilty party and said he's "not opposed to the sentiments" about Mr. Bush.

"We haven't looked really hard to find out who did it because it's good for us. When we find them, we'll give them a raise," said Mr. Bihn, who insists the "president" mentioned on the tag is a reference to himself as the company's president and not to Mr. Bush.

The tag has "hit a resonating chord" all over the world, including France, where some customers believe the reference is to their president, Jacques Chirac. "People out there think a number of presidents are idiots," said Mr. Bihn. "It's a universal message."

Tags: bags, tags, president, politics, french, humor, world, bush, chirac, people, products

Idiot destroys Two-Hundred Thousand Dollars worth of Computer Equipment

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 01:02:50 GMT

clipped by: lilyrose770
clipper's remarks: I hope they made the idiot pay for the damaged equipment.

Clip Source: www.newlaunches.com

The server room was blistering at 109 degrees Fahrenheit and was lying with dead and dying servers. The initial guesses for the disaster was the failure of primary, secondary and tertiary air conditioners all at once. But after cycling the power the A/C's were working fine. The employees worked day day and night to order new equipment, build new servers and get everything on track. After hundreds of overtime hours and 200 thousand dollars worth equipment they managed to bring everything back online. When the Exchange servers were finally restored, the following email finally made its way to everyone's inbox

Tags: idiots, it, computers, ac, treehugger

Japan says sorry for planting drugs on passenger

Thu, 29 May 2008 11:50:28 GMT

clipped by: tabsey
clipper's remarks: Bloody idiots. The aftermath of a clip placed last week.

Clip Source: www.smh.com.au

Japan has said sorry for planting cannabis on an incoming Hong Kong passenger to test out one of its sniffer dogs, a news report said today.

Embarrassed officials had to issue a public appeal to the passenger to return the 142 grams of cannabis after the sniffer dog failed to detect it and the customs officer forgot which bag he planted the drugs in.

The incident on Sunday, in which a passenger on a Cathay Pacific flight into Tokyo was targeted collecting a suitcase from the airport carousel, brought an outcry from the Hong Kong government and tourism officials.

The drugs - worth almost $US10,000 ($A10,436.23) - were eventually recovered on Monday evening from the passenger in a Tokyo hotel, but it is not known if the passenger was traced or whether he or she alerted officials.

In a statement in today South China Morning Post, a spokesperson for Japan's customs authorities said the department felt "great regret and we offer our deepest apologies."

Tags: bloody, idiots

Why Octane uses Clipmarks

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 20:24:11 GMT

clipped by: egoldstein
clipper's remarks: Couldn't resist clipping this. Octane, this brought a big smile to my face! Maybe it should be on our home page

Clip Source: clipmarks.com

Because it's easier, more specific and more immediate than Digg and so far free of the idiots, gamers and the sheer nerdiness that just sucks the life out of announcing something interesting...

Tags: clipmarks, octane

FW: Email stuff to Remember

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 23:03:12 GMT

clipped by: lauriecorona
clipper's remarks: Who hasn't received at least one of these naives FW emails?

Clip Source: pages.infinit.net

EMAIL STUFF TO REMEMBER

Number 1:
Big companies don't do business via chain letters.
Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation.
There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks.
Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not satanic.
MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people.
The Gap is not giving away free clothes.
You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true."

Number 2:
There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans.
No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin.
If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote:
"The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories."
None have.
That's "none" as in "zero."
Not even your friend's cousin.

Number 4:
If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?

Number 6:
There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes headlights at another car driving at night without lights.

Number 8:
If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months.
It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">>>" that begin each line either.
Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it.

Number 11:
If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," -- then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.

Tags: humor, humour, internet