Clipmarks | 4freedomstantra's 'intimacy' clips

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 12:30:25 GMT

clipped by: Scattered_Fusion
clipper's remarks: Well here's 5. Check the site for the rest.

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

Tags: sex, mistakes, men, woman, entertainment, education, true

Friendship: The Laws of Attraction

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 10:45:24 GMT

clipped by: Xeneri
clipper's remarks: Friendship: The Laws of Attraction
The conventional wisdom is that we choose friends because of who they are. But it turns out that we actually love them because of the way they support who we are.
By:Karen Karbo

Clip Source: www.psychologytoday.com

Built To Last: How To Stay Friends

From young adulthood onward, our notion of what makes a good friendship changes very little, but our capacity to maintain one does. It's a poignant reality; we know what it means to be and have friends, but after we graduate from college and go our separate ways—launching our careers, getting married, having children, getting divorced, caring for aging parents—we're often unable to muster the time and energy to maintain friendships we profess to value. Like anything else in life, if we want to remain friends with someone, it requires a little work. Simply put, we must show up.

According to Marquette University psychologist Debra Oswald, who has studied the nature and complexity of high school "best" friendships, there are four basic behaviors necessary to maintain the bond. And they hold true whether we're 17 or 70.

Communication facilitates the first two essential behaviors: self-disclosure and supportiveness, both necessary for intimacy. We must be willing to extend ourselves, to share our lives with our friends, to keep them abreast of what's going on with us. Likewise, we need to listen to them and offer support.

Interaction is the third essential in tending to a friendship. You've got to write, you've got to call, you've got to visit. Find the nearest Starbucks and take time to catch up. "The specific activity doesn't matter," says Oswald. "The important thing is to interact."

The last and most elusive behavior necessary for keeping friends is being positive. Social psychologists tout the necessity of self-disclosure, but that doesn't mean an unrestricted license to vent. At the end of the day, the intimacy that makes a friendship thrive must be an enjoyable one, for the more rewarding a friendship, the more we feel good about it, the more we're willing to expend the energy it takes to keep it alive.

Tags: friendship, friends, life, relationships, psychology, behavior, lifehacks, health, mind, advice

Why kissing means more to women

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 21:51:17 GMT

clipped by: ekorstanje
clipper's remarks: Boy women are sure complicated

Clip Source: news.bbc.co.uk

Why kissing means more to women

If a picture is worth a 1,000 words, so may be a kiss - or certainly to a woman anyway, researchers say.

They use kissing as a way of assessing the recipient as a potential partner, and later to maintain intimacy and to check the status of a relationship.

But men placed less importance on it, using it to increase the likelihood of sex, Evolutionary Psychology reported.

Tags: kissing

Why women can't have sex like men

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 10:16:10 GMT

clipped by: suzi3ana

Clip Source: health.yahoo.com

In addition, sex -- whether it be a one-night stand, a booty call, or "friends with benefits" -- takes a different toll on women than it does on men. When we reach orgasm our brain becomes flooded with Oxytocin, the chemical of attachment, leading to feelings of intimacy and affection. Men have higher levels of testosterone in their brains which may help to counteract this chemical, but women are not so lucky. Thus, no matter how much women may wish they could "have sex like a man," we are not physically programmed to do so.

Tags: sex, relationships, science

How to Use First Names

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 15:10:09 GMT

clipped by: Kore7
clipper's remarks:

In the world of influence, names are money. Schoolteachers know it. Bartenders know it. Salesmen know it. Very polite children know it. These people have figured it out. A name well used makes any person feel seen. When someone uses my name, I know that he has at least considered me in some fashion, that my presence has registered. It conveys a substratum of intimacy, a level of connection, a sense that life does not have to be lived in a torpid fog of anonymous comings and goings.

Clip Source: www.esquire.com

How to Use a Name

1) Use a person's name the same way you would a good piece of punctuation--to accelerate expression, to pause in the middle of a thought, to reconnect to the subject of the conversation. Its position in the sentence matters.

2) A name should be used as an invitation, a means of pulling someone into the conversation. Only a mother is allowed to use a name as a rebuke.

3) Don't put a person's name at the end of the sentence by rote. That's just an old salesman's trick, and it sounds like as much.

4) Greet people by their names whenever you can. It's polite, for one thing. But this part of the routine is like a muscle; it gets stronger every time you do it. Soon you will remember more names and be able to use them better.

5) When you start a sentence with someone's name, mean what you say. Make that name part of a larger compact between you.

6) Forgive people when they forget your name, but use their name when you do.

Tags: name, greeting, polite, social, intimacy, person, people, life, advice, howto, list

Sleeping naked is better for you!

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 18:12:08 GMT

clipped by: countryboylife

Clip Source: sleepnaked.org

Comfort and health

Not only is sleeping naked more comfortable, but it's good for your health too. Increasing your level of comfort makes it easier for you to relax and sleep, so you get a better night's kip. The resulting deeper, longer sleep makes it easier for your body to regenerate and repair itself, and build up your energy for the day ahead.

Sexual benefits

If you sleep with a partner, being naked heightens the level of intimacy between you, and you are likely to have sex more often. You may also feel closer to your partner as a result of sleeping naked with them

Work and lifestyle benefits

If you find yourself tired in the morning or during the day even though you've had at-least eight hours sleep, you may only be sleeping lightly for that period of time. As mentioned earlier, sleeping naked allows your body to relax more immediately, and you are more likely to fall into a deeper sleep more quickly and wake up refreshed.

Tags: sleep, health, relationships

The Body Language of Lust

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 22:04:17 GMT

clipped by: Questra

Clip Source: magazines.ivillage.com

The Body Language of Lust
You know he likes you, but to suss out whether you inspire naughty thoughts, look for these gestures. They may seem innocent enough...however, the meaning behind them is anything but.

BY MORGAN SWETT

The Primal Point

"A guy will often stand with his legs spread apart and pelvis facing you when he's hot for you," explains body-language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals. "It's a primal, biological instinct, and most guys don't even know they're doing it." If he takes it a step further by touching his belt, hanging his thumb off a front pocket, or even scratching himself down there, you may need to hose him down — he's subconsciously trying to draw your attention to his, ahem, assets.

Clip Source: magazines.ivillage.com

The Lusty Lean-in

A dude who wants to get intimate will often invade your personal space. "In normal interactions, men position themselves a foot and a half to two feet away," says body-language expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D., author of I Know What You're Thinking. "But a guy who has sex with you on the brain will stand less than an arm's length from you — or closer — because he's trying to connect physically and create intimacy."

Clip Source: magazines.ivillage.com

The Sensual Touch

Sure, you know that if a guy has his hands all over you, there's a good chance he wants to get you naked. But class acts aren't going to be so obvious. "If a guy is sexually aroused, he'll touch sensual areas like the small of your back, your upper thigh, or your sides," says Wood. In fact, when he's that turned on, he'll go straight for those sensitive spots, not even bothering with the gradual buildup, like holding your hand or stroking your arm.

Clip Source: magazines.ivillage.com

The Lip Licker

"A man in lust will literally look like he's hungry, because on a carnal level, that's exactly what he is," explains Wood. "His facial expression reflects that craving, whether it be for a juicy piece of fruit or for sex." So if you catch him nibbling or licking his lips while he's looking at you, chances are good that you've whet his erotic appetite.

Tags: body language, sex

Sex Is Good For You

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:56:40 GMT

clipped by: debbyski
clipper's remarks: "When people feel deeply close while merely holding hands, they are having sex. When people display caring for each other through hugs, caresses, and kissing, they are also having sex. When connecting people in a crowded room wink at each other in their own secret way, they are communicating sex to each other; such non-contact sex can be excitedly arousing and emotionally fulfilling. And, of course, during sexual union when the sky seems to open so a lightning bolt can strike the couple--while fireworks ignite and the earth stops spinning-- this is sex, too."

Emotional intimacy is so important and the first step is to allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone is taking the time to build that intimacy with others. One of the primary reasons I've always felt close to women is because of emotional intimacy. The whole package of love, companionship and sex can be so appealing, and I think that is one of the reasons men are attracted to women.

Clip Source: www.selfhelpmagazine.com

Scientific evidence is accumulating support what many of us have suspected all along: good sex not only adds great enjoyment to our lives, but it also actually improves our health and may even contribute to our longevity.

Does this mean that to live longer or be more healthy we just need to DO IT more often or better? Of course not! Sex is a much broader concept that genital connecting or having an orgasm. Psychologist and author Gina Ogden, Ph.D. notes in her book, "Women Who Love Sex", that sex has everything to do with openness, connection to and bonding with a partner, feelings about what is happening to us, and memories. For those who love it, sex permeates their lives and is not merely a specialized, time-intensive, physical activity that takes place under the covers--as quickly as possible.

For women, according to Dr.Ogden, it has more to do with feelings of connectedness in their relationships: "Heart to heart, soul to soul, even mind to mind."

Intimacy In A Fluid World

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 16:46:07 GMT

clipped by: wildcat
clipper's remarks: FM-2030 was a name adopted by the transhumanist philosopher and futurist Fereidoun M. Esfandiary (October 15, 1930–July 8, 2000), who professed "a deep nostalgia for the future."

Clip Source: www.context.org

THE YEAR IS 1885, 100 years ago. You decide to leave the farm and move to the city with your wife and kids. Suddenly you are no longer part of an extended family; you're a nuclear family. You think of the relatives you left behind, and wonder what happened to your commitment and loyalty.

Now, shift centuries: today, at the end of the 20th century, we are going through the same process, only this time it is not the extended family we are outgrowing - it is the nuclear family. You cannot commit yourself to one person; you don't have a spouse, a home and kids. Again the same pressures: where the hell is your commitment? Your loyalty? Your attachment? Isn't it time you settled down? After all, you are already 28 or 32 or 36, or whatever. The dynamics are essentially the same. Why are we outgrowing the nuclear family? What are the forces behind this evolution? What is replacing the nuclear family?

Tags: f. m. esfandiary, fm-2030, philosophy, transhumanism, society, future

Brave New World of Digital Intimacy

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 12:15:43 GMT

clipped by: wildcat
clipper's remarks: It is easy to become unsettled by privacy-eroding aspects of awareness tools. But there is another — quite different — result of all this incessant updating: a culture of people who know much more about themselves. Many of the avid Twitterers, Flickrers and Facebook users I interviewed described an unexpected side-effect of constant self-disclosure. The act of stopping several times a day to observe what you’re feeling or thinking can become, after weeks and weeks, a sort of philosophical act. It’s like the Greek dictum to “know thyself,” or the therapeutic concept of mindfulness. (Indeed, the question that floats eternally at the top of Twitter’s Web site — “What are you doing?” — can come to seem existentially freighted. What are you doing?) Having an audience can make the self-reflection even more acute, since, as my interviewees noted, they’re trying to describe their activities in a way that is not only accurate but also interesting to others: the status update as a literary form.

Clip Source: www.nytimes.com

On Sept. 5, 2006, Mark Zuckerberg changed the way that Facebook worked, and in the process he inspired a revolt.

Pundits predicted that News Feed would kill Facebook, but the opposite happened. It catalyzed a massive boom in the site’s growth. A few weeks after the News Feed imbroglio, Zuckerberg opened the site to the general public (previously, only students could join), and it grew quickly; today, it has 100 million users

Clip Source: www.nytimes.com

In essence, Facebook users didn’t think they wanted constant, up-to-the-minute updates on what other people are doing. Yet when they experienced this sort of omnipresent knowledge, they found it intriguing and addictive. Why?

Social scientists have a name for this sort of incessant online contact. They call it “ambient awareness.” It is, they say, very much like being physically near someone and picking up on his mood through the little things he does — body language, sighs, stray comments — out of the corner of your eye.

Tags: brave new world, digital intimacy

Is Mathematics Discovered or Invented?

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:30:27 GMT

clipped by: wildcat

Clip Source: www.dailygalaxy.com

For centuries people have debated whether – like scientific truths – mathematics is discoverable, or if it is simply invented by the minds of our great mathematicians. But two questions are raised, one for each side of the coin. For those who believe these mathematical truths are purely discoverable, where, exactly, are you looking? And for those on the other side of the court, why cannot a mathematician simply announce to the world that he has invented 2 + 2 to equal 5.

If you’re looking for a side to join, then maybe the Platonic theory is your cup of tea. The Classical Greek philosopher Plato was of the view that math was discoverable, and that it is what underlies the very structure of our universe.

“The abstract realm in which a mathematician works is by dint of prolonged intimacy more concrete to him than the chair he happens to sit on,”

Mazur describes the Platonic view as “a full-fledged theistic position.”

Tags: math, invention?, discovery?, plato

Why Eye Contact Matters

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 03:02:10 GMT

clipped by: Kore7
clipper's remarks:

And for the one who's being looked at, eye contact sends a message, signaling acknowledgment, connection, and attention, signaling something, I suppose, like empathy. Being seen is, on some level, being felt. It's nice to be acknowledged.

Clip Source: www.esquire.com

A PERSON'S GAZE has weight, resistance, muscularity. Clearly, there are people who use their eyes well. You know them: the sales rep, the fundraiser, the tyrannical supervisor. Their eyes force the question. These people may be as dumb as streetlamps, but they are an undeniable presence in the room. They know they must be dealt with. You know it, too.

It is a very particular skill set. The eye-contact specialist is like the one guy in the game of pickup basketball who knows only how to box out for a rebound. Relentless and a little annoying, he uses his skill, presses his opponents with the fundamentals. It may not work every trip down the court, but eventually things bounce his way. Over time, this habit--establishing and maintaining eye contact--creates favorable situations and produces results. The eye-contact specialist gets talked to first, dealt with most promptly, and responded to most thoroughly. He's always first in line for a reason.

Tags: eye, eyes, eye contact, skill, intimacy, life, advice, howto, social, people

Slow Sex

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 17:30:46 GMT

clipped by: debbyski
clipper's remarks: Sex is the ultimate trust with another human being isn't it? We trust that they desire us and we want intimacy in a relationship. While it certainly is easy to reach our to your partners genitals to get something going, it's impersonal and it's not touching what is the best in yourself. While on the surface it seems that sex is a biological drive like a need for food, I feel this kind of thinking tends to limit our perspectives and actually interferes with our relationships.

Clip Source: mdn.mainichi.jp

During the orgasm stage, both the male and female pubococcygeal muscle and pelvic floor muscle system contract rhythmically, blood pressure rises, breathing becomes quicker and the pulse increases to reach anywhere from 110 to 180 beats per minute. This feeling is often said to be like running a 100-meter sprint.

But I don't think all the focus should be on the slightly difficult problem of orgasms, instead, in my humble opinion at least, everything is all right as long as it feels good. Sex is not about the genitals, it's all about the mind, so if you're worrying about things like pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted disease, the orgasm is often a trifling matter.

Well, for those couples who are interested in having an orgasm, here is "Dr. Kitamura's Seven Steps To Make a Woman Come."

Tags: you, cant, fake, intimacy

Top 10 Reasons To Have Sex Tonight

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:28:13 GMT

clipped by: debbyski
clipper's remarks: Need I say more?

Clip Source: www.cbsnews.com

Hot Fact: Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more

(WebMD) When you're in the mood, it's a sure bet that the last thing on your mind is boosting your immune system or maintaining a healthy weight. Yet good sex offers those health benefits and more.

"Of course, sex is everywhere in the media," she says. "But the idea that we are vital, sexual creatures is still looked at in some cases with disgust or in other cases a bit of embarrassment.

So to really take a look at how our sexuality adds to our life and enhances our life and our health, both physical and psychological, is eye-opening for many people.

1. Sex Relieves Stress

2. Sex Boosts Immunity

3. Sex Burns Calories

4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health

5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem

6. Sex Improves Intimacy

7. Sex Reduces Pain

8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk

9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles

10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better

The Role of Intimacy in the Evolution of Technology

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 12:05:43 GMT

clipped by: wildcat
clipper's remarks: In order to establish a connection between intimacy and technology, we will need to revive the old theory of technology as organ-projection, but informed by the notion of intimacy

Clip Source: jetpress.org

Abstract

In this article, Georges Bataille’s notion of intimacy will be re-interpreted to show that it has a role to play in the evolution of technology. The specifically human form of intimacy can be experienced through the successful adoption of technological devices that have the qualities necessary to fit in and work out in our life context. If they manage to become part of our life, then we experience them as projections of our psychophysical personality, and, as such, they escape our positing, objectifying consciousness. Intimacy can be seen as the organizing principle that shapes the evolution of technology towards an ideal end that promises at least an approximation to the absolute intimacy that is unique to the gods.

Introduction

According to Bataille, technology embodies the first act of a consciousness that split the world into subjects and objects

Tags: georges bataille, intimacy, consciousness, technology